My cat hates me!

rainglow

So I've had my cat about three weeks now, and she's just shy of a year old. I live in a one bed apartment and she's kept indoors. She has the run of the place, apart from the kitchen counters! She has a cat tree/scratching post to climb, numerous balls to chase, laser pointer....bottom line, she gets about an hour playing with me, and plays another hour by herself. So I doubt she's THAT bored.

My problem is, she only ever shows affection towards me when I come out from the bedroom in the morning. I get about ten minutes of purring, rubbing off my legs, and sitting on my lap. After that, she ignores me for the rest of the day, runs away if I try to pet her, or else nips at me if I come near her. It doesn't seem to be aggressive nipping as I haven't received a serious bite but she will claw at me sometimes.

Is she just a narky cat? Anyone else got schizo cats?

Papillon!

haha she just sounds moody to me! ive had a few cats and they were grand

carwash_2006

She's actually just about the sort of age where I find some cats go through a phase where they don't show as much affection to people as they did before and do as they get older. Also 3 weeks is not very long, remember it takes a cat 6 weeks to adapt fully to a new routine.

Give her more time and I'm sure she will be cuddling up in your lap. Plenty of ham or cheese as bribery and lots of patience are the order of the day here. She'll come around in her own time, just enjoy your morning loving for now, it is a very good sign.

GeturGun

I thought exactly the same of one of my kittens when I got them. One of them couldn't get enough of me and the other one was terrified and shy. I thought that she hated me as well. If didn't help that I also had to catch her twice a day and medicate her eyes and ears!!! I used to pick her up and cuddle her once a day too, she would tolerate it for a few seconds and then saunter off. Other than that I used to just talk to her from a distance - the way u'd talk to a child u just met "Hiya Jess" etc
My mum once said to me, "she knows who feeds her" which made me feel a lot better. Eventually she finally purred after 6 weeks (5 weeks and 6 days it was LOL) and slowly but surely she trusted me more and more and now (she's been here 3 mths) will come up to me for cuddles and sit on my lap purring for hours.
If you only have her 3 weeks, would you consider getting another one? I am like you, in a 1 bed, they have the run of the place and are such good company for each other and play together and stalk each other - whenever they're not asleep!!!!! Most of the time I'm surplus to requirements!!!!
So my advice is just to give her time. She will eventually figure out that you are nothing to be afraid of and u will be having to shove her off your lap just to make a cup of tea!!!

BlackCat2008

She's just testing you, leave her to it and don't try to smudder her, she'll choose for now and when she's settled and knows she's safe she'll give in a little and let you choose sometimes

bullets

I've seen a whole range of different types of affections with our cats.
They all seem to get more affectionate when they are older.

We have one Black Cat that is Spoiled and Demanding. He will not show me
any affection whatsoever and will run from me all of the time. When I lift him up
to try and cuddle him he turns his head away from me and does not want to be held.
(Fecker I saved his life one stormy night when he was a kitten) However he Loves my
Girlfriend and will come up for his Mindy session on her Lap for short periods.
He will stand in front of me and and whine at me until I feed it but has to be fed away
from the other cats all by himself before he will eat. The odd time when I rub his head
he will purr and start to drool.

Have a Black and White Cat that follow's my Girlfriend around the place and rubs off of her
legs constantly and wont go away but does not like when she's picked up and starts licking her lips and panicking after about 30seconds of being rubbed. Same cat often settles down close to us and just goes asleep but bolts when you get close to her.

Have another Black and White that sometimes wants Lap, we had her kept in one year
by the fire as we found her with an injury where she needed a bit of her foot
aputated so she was in a bandade for several weeks, after she was better she went
back to being an outdoor cat so her affection went from being very affectionate to being
a bit distant. But as the colder and wetter weather is starting to come in, we are sensing
a disticnt difference in her behaviour shes friendlier and wants in and minding more.

and yet another B/W that never wants minding and seems to be always fearful of being rubbed but wont run away just cowers if you touch him...even though he's a bully when
it comes to feeding time with the others.

Have a stripped grey and black young tabby cat who was the runt of a litter who never tamed down at all, and Panics at everything. Very Rarely she will show affection but as she is getting older is starting to settle and purrs like mad when picked up...again only likes being picked up for short perionds of time then it struggles and ya need to
put her down.

have an old quite Ginger that laps up all the attention he can get, Constantly wants to be up on the lap, up on your shoulders especially if playing the computer it will make a b-line to the keyboard, it snores, it goes asleep wherever we are and Loves being fussed over,
he is very social and comes over to complete strangers when we have visitors. He
gets turned on when he smells dogs, and will even try make friends with dogs, we
can flip him upside down, rub his belly and hold him like a baby and he's the best.

Got a long haired tabby who is handicapped and cant meow so all we get is Shane Mcgowen noises from him. He's the worst he NEEDS constant attention and affection, wants to be picked up and rubbed all the time, and you cant even put him down, he HAS
to be close by us when he goes asleep.

Have a wild feral cat that we spend about three years trying to tame but he never came near us....when out of the blue a few months ago he magically appeared to come over to us and lets us rub him. He even let me pick him up a few times. (and I found out the
hard way he will only let me do this before he has been fed but not after)

One of the neighbors cats is pure aggressive to all other cats and has food aggression
issues, it will hiss, spit, claw anything that moves. But as soon as you pick it up its
perfectly content and does not move or budge and loves being held.

~B

lubie76

Wow bullets, thats quite a mixed bunch you have there!

I really like the fact that cats are so independent and their affection is on their terms but there is nothing like one of the more elusive ones jumping up on your knee for a cuddle.

BlackCat2008

Hay Bullets are you sure your not talking about my house full of cats, Like yours they all have thier own way of telling you whats what or you just can't shake them, as I talk my back is killing me because three of the kittens insist on sleeping on my lap when I have the lap top on the bed and the more I move them to the side the more they insist on getting back, funny little guys:D:D:D

ValerieR

It really depends on the cat. We have the 2 extremes down here :

- One totally unsociable calico female : likes to be rubbed only when feeding, hates being picked up and moans immediately (she has no pains and aches, just her personality), only rubs your legs when she's hungry, purrs occasionally, NEVER comes for a cuddle, runs away from the house when visitors arrive (never mind kids), hates loud music or guitar playing. We are lucky : though we get a lot of moaning, it takes a lot for her to start getting her claws out (easy enough to medicate if required) and doesn't go for your face/eyes, just the hands. At this stage, I don't expect her to ever change !

- One totally teddy bear cuddly tabby male : just the complete opposite, can't get enough of me (but doesn't care much about other family members!), follows me everywhere ...

Both have were 6/8 weeks when we got them, got the same 'education', handling... only the 1st one was born in a rescue centre whereas I found the other one on the road and had a definite tough start.
I guess it's purely down to personality.

ValerieR

Alfasudcrazy

Cats are just not like dogs and all it seems to me need to be given their space.

My cats don't like being lifted up. They don't do sitting on laps either. One won't even come into the house. The one that will will only stay in my bedroom and loves to sleep in the bed - except when I am in it - then she sleeps on the chair.

She gets excited when I come home from work - mainly because she knows a treat can't be far off I suppose. Very rarely she will put out her paw as if to grab me looking for a brief cuddle.

Complex creatures aren't they.:rolleyes: