Brave men jokes

beertons

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world?

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick, smelling of perfume,

Then slaps his wife on the arse and says

"You're next fatty"

---

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night the woman walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live off $800 a year."

---

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2
litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a
head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g
pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, 'You must be single.'

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selection that could have tipped off the Drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cos you're ugly.'

---

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really upset. She told him 'Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in
the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 10seconds AND IT HAD
BETTER BE THERE.'




The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out of the window and sure enough there was a small box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.




Confused, she put on her robe, ran out on to the driveway and picked up
the box.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom weighing scales

rocky25

Great stuff Beertons,

Especially like the last one :P

Fey!

That last one is fantastic!

dh0661

#2 is the best one, I think.;)

darkskol

that last joke is class