Your recession themed jokes here.

slipss · 10-10-2008 1:36pm #1

I'm sure there must be a good few floating around by now, so lets have them.

Whats the definition of optimism? A financier that irons five shirts on a Sunday.

Whats the difference between a wall street trader and a pigeon? A pigeon can still lay a deposit on a BMW.

Homer · 10-10-2008 2:29pm

Leadership · 10-10-2008 2:34pm

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Irish Gunner · 12-10-2008 11:47pm

Went to the ATM today and it said insufficient funds

I thought Them or me.............

dh0661 · 13-10-2008 6:36pm

Not knowing your financial status, I'm guessing theirs

:rolleyes:;)

Insect Overlord · 13-10-2008 10:29pm

@ Leadership
Quality joke!

Stabshauptmann · 14-10-2008 3:21pm

Whats the capital of Ireland?

about 15eur

whiskeyman · 14-10-2008 3:24pm

Leadership wrote: »

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Don't forget the earlier Asian banking crisis at Northern Wok

dh0661 · 14-10-2008 9:01pm

whiskeyman wrote: »

Don't forget the earlier Asian banking crisis at Northern Wok

Wrong - wrong - wrong!.
In the U.K. it was northern rock, in Asia it was southern wok

annieee · 22-11-2008 10:15pm

A concerned customer asked his stock broker if the recent market decline and volitility worried him.

The broker told him that he has been sleeping like a baby.

“Really?!?” replied the customer.

“Absolutely,” said the broker, “I sleep for about an hour, wake up, and then cry for about an hour.”

Darthvadar · 07-09-2009 7:18pm

Q... What's the definition of Recession Stress???...

A... It's when you have a mortgage, a car loan, a wife and a mistress and they're ALL a month late!....

gimmebroadband · 18-12-2010 1:39pm

3 doctors are discusingg their countries medical achievements.
An Isreali doctor says “We took a kidney out of one man, put it into another man and he was out looking for work in just 6 months!”

The English doctor responds. “We removed a lung from one man, placed it into another and he was looking for work in just 3 months!”

The Irish doctor stands up - “We took an arsehole out of Offaly, put it into the Dail and now the whole country is out looking for work.