Misogynistic lines/attitudes from porn does it bother you ?

pinder

if things in porn bother you dont watch it or watch something less offensive for your tastes.however the fact your easily offended and yet watch porn is quite the puzzler.if a girl doesnt like what a man says during sex,misogynistic or whatever,the woman can very easily tell him to stop,or leave.just like if your trying something and the woman tells you to stop,you stop.everybody has their own boundries,everyones different.if we all were tight lipped and not a bit adventurous we'd all still be doing missionary and life would be very boring

Acacia

I would only be offended by it if the guy in question had a misogynistic attitude outside of the bedroom.In porn/ during sex, both guys and girls can enjoy this kind of talk.

These lines could be interpreted as disrespectful towards women but maybe some women like that (in the bedroom!). After all, some men can also like being dominated by a woman, being told what to do, being treated disrespectfully, etc, though that's more of a fetish thing.

It depends on the individual, I guess, and what they're comfortable with. It wouldn't really bother me.

LolaLuv

Acacia wrote: »

I would only be offended by it if the guy in question had a misogynistic attitude outside of the bedroom.In porn/ during sex, both guys and girls can enjoy this kind of talk.

These lines could be interpreted as disrespectful towards women but maybe some women like that (in the bedroom!). After all, some men can also like being dominated by a woman, being told what to do, being treated disrespectfully, etc, though that's more of a fetish thing.

It depends on the individual, I guess, and what they're comfortable with. It wouldn't really bother me.

I agree with this. I love a bit of nasty talk myself during sex, even when it goes into whore/slut territory, but it's necessary to know that the guy isn't a misogynist outside of the bedroom. Very good point. Someone wise once told me that it's important to keep feminism out of the bedroom. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but it's true for me.

Nevyn

PillyPen wrote: »

I agree with this. I love a bit of nasty talk myself during sex, even when it goes into whore/slut territory, but it's necessary to know that the guy isn't a misogynist outside of the bedroom. Very good point. Someone wise once told me that it's important to keep feminism out of the bedroom. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but it's true for me.

So you should not expect equal pleasure, or orgasams or to be able to use contraception or to be able to do things which invovle your pleasure and you making choices for yourself and with your partner.

Yes sure, keep feminism out of the bedroom and your sex life and you can just lie back think of Eire, hope he finishes soon and that you become pregnant and he will stop having sex with you for the babys sake.

LolaLuv

Thaedydal wrote: »

So you should not expect equal pleasure, or orgasams or to be able to use contraception or to be able to do things which invovle your pleasure and you making choices for yourself and with your partner.

Yes sure, keep feminism out of the bedroom and your sex life and you can just lie back think of Eire, hope he finishes soon and that you become pregnant and he will stop having sex with you for the babys sake.

That was an awful thing for you to say. Really just mean. What I meant was that for me, if I start thinking about feminism then I'll start questioning why I enjoy being called a slut and all that, and it'll ruin things for me. Why should I question something that gives me pleasure? And I said that doesn't hold true for everyone. Cop on.

Nevyn

It's about choices darling, really.

Personally I prefer to know why and wehre from my kinks are coming from to better understand them, me and the type of dynamic I ended up in.

Then in understanding that I can then let go and not feel guilty at all about what goes on in the bedroom or on the stairs or the sitting room floor.

LolaLuv

Thaedydal wrote: »

It's about choices darling, really.

Personally I prefer to know why and wehre from my kinks are coming from to better understand them, me and the type of dynamic I ended up in.

Then in understanding that I can then let go and not feel guilty at all about what goes on in the bedroom or on the stairs or the sitting room floor.

Maybe we could withhold the patronizing pet names. Personally, I don't care about my kinks. As long as they aren't harming me, and I'm enjoying them, then I'd rather not figure them out. I tried for a while, but never got anywhere, and I know myself well enough to not be too bothered that the source of that is a mystery. I understand that this doesn't work for everyone, which is why I wouldn't jump to judgment about someone who felt differently from me.

And I don't feel guilty...if you do, then your desire to understand why your kinks are your kinks makes sense to me, but I'd appreciate it if you'd apply your experiences to yourself and not jump to the conclusion that I'm a doormat and don't enjoy sex.

Nevyn

I didn't mean for that to come across patronising at all.

I never siad you were a door mat or that you didn't enjoy sex.

Feminism and sexual liberation are entwined and I can't see how to seperate one from the other, I am grateful for the options I have as a sexual person and the option I have in how I express and enjoy my sexuality and those options are as far as I am concerned due to feminism.

Hence to me your statement didn't compute.

PrettyInPunk

PillyPen wrote: »

I agree with this. I love a bit of nasty talk myself during sex, even when it goes into whore/slut territory, but it's necessary to know that the guy isn't a misogynist outside of the bedroom. Very good point. Someone wise once told me that it's important to keep feminism out of the bedroom. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but it's true for me.

I agree also, i think Thaedydal was actually being quite condescending in the last one or two posts. Different strokes for different folks, some people enjoy S and M, some watersports, 3 somes you name it. If both individuals enjoy it, i dont understand how dirty talk in the bedroom is a problem.

PrettyInPunk

also Thaedydal i only saw your last message after i posted that one, so apologies!

LolaLuv

Thaedydal wrote: »

I didn't mean for that to come across patronising at all.

I never siad you were a door mat or that you didn't enjoy sex.

Feminism and sexual liberation are entwined and I can't see how to seperate one from the other, I am grateful for the options I have as a sexual person and the option I have in how I express and enjoy my sexuality and those options are as far as I am concerned due to feminism.

Hence to me your statement didn't compute.

Well, that makes a lot of sense to me. When I said feminism shouldn't enter the bedroom, I didn't mean the type of feminism that has provided us with choices, but the type that tends to be too questioning about male/female roles and their implications for everyday life. I've fallen prey to that myself and find it just too exhausting.

I know you didn't say that I was a doormat and didn't enjoy sex, but your response to my post did come across that way. If you had asked me to clarify, I would have, then this whole crazy debacle could have been avoided. But for now, I call a truce! :D

Lockstep

AH on the flipside of the coin, I'm partial enough to the odd bit of misandry in privacy.

If she actually thought like that I'd be worried but for the kicks it's all good.

4zn76tysfajdxp

I haven't read the whole thread but I personally am unaffected by mysonistic lines in porn becuase I watch 'em with the sound off. It's not like anyone watches them for the cracking dialogue.

kickoutthejams wrote: »

If she actually thought like that I'd be worried but for the kicks it's all good.

Is that what your username refers to? Ewwww....

Snowie

its wrong, its the likes of bang bros, and there father site with the likes of sayings like quick draw etc whcih these guys see and then emulate
Its sorta sad....


the question is these guys wrote a peaper how do they expect to be taken any way serous with a heading like. "swollow Bitch"

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LolaLuv

I'm gonna have to check that book out, thanks!

panda100

PillyPen wrote: »

Someone wise once told me that it's important to keep feminism out of the bedroom. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but it's true for me.

As Thaed said, If it wasnt for Feminism you wouldnt be enjoying the healthy sex life you are now. Its beacuse of the feminist movement that you can shag whoever you like in whatever way you like.

PillyPen wrote: »

When I said feminism shouldn't enter the bedroom, I didn't mean the type of feminism that has provided us with choices, but the type that tends to be too questioning about male/female roles and their implications for everyday life.

Sorry I am confused about what 'type' of feminism you are talking about? Is this the mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years? This type of feminist doesnt exist.


I still think everyday porn is unhealthy and unrepresntative. Ireland is still a massively sexually very repressed society, which may sound odd to some considering we live in a society where sex is everywhere. But what a narrow view of sex it is! Its big tits,bleached hair with women faking lust and fake orgasms contorting their bodies into the most sexually uncomfortable positions ever,pulling their stomachs in and sticking their butts out.
If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative and not an unhealthy one sided,dominant view of what sex should be.

LolaLuv

panda100 wrote: »

As Thaed said, If it wasnt for Feminism you wouldnt be enjoying the healthy sex life you are now. Its beacuse of the feminist movement that you can shag whoever you like in whatever way you like.

Only to have those choices questioned by message boards feminists? Don't lecture me.

Sorry I am confused about what 'type' of feminism you are talking about? Is this the mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years? This type of feminist doesnt exist.

It might not exist in Ireland, but it definitely exists in America. I'm not going to list the feminist activities I participated in because that's obnoxious and I refuse to defend myself in such a silly way, but to say that feminism has played a huge role in my life is an understatement. And to have someone who doesn't even know me insinuate that I know nothing about it is an insult beyond what I can tell you. That said, in America there most certainly are the femi-Nazi types. I'm sorry that you limit facts to your own experiences, but in the future maybe lay off the sweeping statements. You can't know everything about everything, there's no shame in that.

Dragan

panda100 wrote: »

Sorry I am confused about what 'type' of feminism you are talking about? Is this the mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years? This type of feminist doesnt exist.

Interesting article below

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/whatever-happened-to-feminisms-extreme-sects-465970.html

Would love to get your opinion on it.

Zulu

panda100 wrote: »

Sorry I am confused about what 'type' of feminism you are talking about? Is this the mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years? This type of feminist doesnt exist.

Doesn't exist, or you don't want it to exist?

(I'm making the massive assumption that you were being poetic in your use of language above and that you don't literally mean a "mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years", as that evidently doesn't exist considering you called it "mythical" and "conjured up" in the same sentance)

If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative and not an unhealthy one sided,dominant view of what sex should be.

Unfortunately, that will never happen in our currently model of capitalism.

The_Minister

panda100 wrote: »

As Thaed said, If it wasnt for Feminism you wouldnt be enjoying the healthy sex life you are now. Its beacuse of the feminist movement that you can shag whoever you like in whatever way you like

I would argue that the creation of new and more effective forms of contraception divorced sex from reproduction, and that paved the way for a more liberated sexual norms.


I still don't get any though:(

The_Minister

panda100 wrote: »

I still think everyday porn is unhealthy and unrepresntative. Ireland is still a massively sexually very repressed society, which may sound odd to some considering we live in a society where sex is everywhere. But what a narrow view of sex it is! Its big tits,bleached hair with women faking lust and fake orgasms contorting their bodies into the most sexually uncomfortable positions ever,pulling their stomachs in and sticking their butts out.
If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative and not an unhealthy one sided,dominant view of what sex should be.

Porn is what people want.
Pure and simple.

Porn is fantasy, and when people fantasise they don't dream of tin, they dream of gold.
That doesn't mean that they don't appreciate what they have.

And for the record, most guys will admit that after a certain size big tits stop being that attractive.
It's like modeling, when (certain) women point at stick thin models and say "that's what men want? We can't live up to that, Boo-hoo" while men stand around and try to quietly point out that more meat would be preferable, but then they wouldn't show the clothes as well. It's women who hold themselves to these standards, not men.

Lockstep

I'll just leave this here

panda100 wrote: »

Sorry I am confused about what 'type' of feminism you are talking about? Is this the mythical man hating/feminazai/bra burning 'type's that had been relentlessly conjured up by the media and right wing politicans over the last 100 years? This type of feminist doesnt exist.

Do they not?
While they'd be the minority, I'd certainly say they exist.

panda100 wrote: »

Its big tits,bleached hair with women faking lust and fake orgasms contorting their bodies into the most sexually uncomfortable positions ever,pulling their stomachs in and sticking their butts out.

I know very few people who actully think that such women are attractive.
There was an AH thread where people had to define their perfect partnet and the archetype that guys tended to agree on was a dark haired woman with small to medium breasts and a bit of meat on her.

panda100 wrote: »

If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative and not an unhealthy one sided,dominant view of what sex should be.

Porn just gives people what they want. There's a lot of porn about ranging from porn where there seems to be a lot of love (big in Scandinavia) right along to Femdom where the woman calls the shots.

Acacia

panda100 wrote: »

I still think everyday porn is unhealthy and unrepresntative. Ireland is still a massively sexually very repressed society, which may sound odd to some considering we live in a society where sex is everywhere. But what a narrow view of sex it is! Its big tits,bleached hair with women faking lust and fake orgasms contorting their bodies into the most sexually uncomfortable positions ever,pulling their stomachs in and sticking their butts out.
If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative and not an unhealthy one sided,dominant view of what sex should be.

By everyday porn do you mean page 3 girls and glamour models? I would agree that 'blonde girls with big boobs' are the main body types featured in lads' mags. I know not every guy finds this attractive, but I guess there's a big enough market for it, so alot of guys must find it attractive.

On the other hand, there are lots of different types of porn available, that cater to a lot of different tastes. So I don't think porn offers a narrow view of sex, more that perhaps a certain kind of porn offers a narrow view of sex. But to each their own.

I don't really see the problem with porn/sex games, etc, where both partners feel comfortable and fulfilled. Just my 2 cents.

cuckoo

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Porn just gives people what they want. There's a lot of porn about ranging from porn where there seems to be a lot of love (big in Scandinavia) right along to Femdom where the woman calls the shots.

I think porn is like the ocean, most of the time all we see is the waves at the top - the crass, bleached hair female, waxed man stuff. Page 3, but with sound and movement. Juvenile. And, there's nothing there that I want. Nothing that resembles my experiences of sex, and nothing even close to my fantasies. I'm going to wave the Big Stick of Generalisation, but i think that that type of porn is created for an audience of adolescent boys.

So, I'm a little turned off the whole notion of porn because of the crap that has floated to the top of the Big Ocean of Porn. Maybe one day I'll seek out the alternatives, and look a little deeper, but for now, meh, it ain't for me. Tbh, the blank faces, the faked 'ooohs' and the cringey 'do it to me, big boy' is a turn off for me.

What disturbs me about it is the expectations it creates among men and women. There's more to sex, and expressing love and affection, than the orgasm. Tbh, the female Porn Orgasm is something completely alien to me. The angles of penetration in porn are designed for the camera - not for the participants' pleasure.

Reading threads in After Hours the expectations seem to be that women will be hairless, are vocal gymnasts in bed and that threesomes are a norm. That man are rock hard, etc. Yes, i know that's largely juvenile postering by inexperience keyboard lovers - but, it feels indicative of something.

Then there's the 'porn for women' jokes, like the series of photos of men hoovering, washing dishes, putting out the bins. Again - nothing like my fantasies. It buys into the myth that women don't really like sex at all, that it's something we do to keep the men folk happy.

So, in summation, my problem isn't with the concept of porn - it's with the large percent of it that's crap.

Acacia

cuckoo wrote: »

Then there's the 'porn for women' jokes, like the series of photos of men hoovering, washing dishes, putting out the bins. Again - nothing like my fantasies. It buys into the myth that women don't really like sex at all, that it's something we do to keep the men folk happy.

I agree with this. It irks me when people seem to think that porn is for men's benefit only. It seems that women enjoying/looking at porn is a bit of a taboo. At least in my experience.

Galvasean

panda100 wrote: »

If porn is to be out there among us in our society, as it is everyday, then I think it should be more represntative

Yeah, I'm gonna make a porno movie where its' two 'ugly' people fiddling with a condom for about 2minutes before things get going, then the guy underperforms, fails to please the woman, it's all over in two minutes and the girl asks if he wants to talk about it, followed by 4 minutes of awkward silence.
Gonna make loadsa money! :cool:

Dragan

Acacia wrote: »

I agree with this. It irks me when people seem to think that porn is for men's benefit only. It seems that women enjoying/looking at porn is a bit of a taboo. At least in my experience.

Remember, people are not supposed to actually say they like hard sex either.:rolleyes:

LolaLuv

Acacia wrote: »

I agree with this. It irks me when people seem to think that porn is for men's benefit only. It seems that women enjoying/looking at porn is a bit of a taboo. At least in my experience.

Dragan wrote: »

Remember, people are not supposed to actually say they like hard sex either.:rolleyes:

Just thought I'd join the liking porno and hard sex chorus! And you're right that it's a taboo. Whenever one of my exes has started talking about porn, they'd be pretty shocked when I said I liked it. Doesn't make much sense to me since almost all of my girl friends watch it, too. :rolleyes:

Pyr0

Haha ! I happen to think the Porn for Women is hilarious ! Very well done, its just playing on the idea that women dream about their men doing the cleaning and being generally helpful, while men dream about mad sexual fantasies. Its hardly being dead serious with what its portraying.

Aye Dragan, especially wimmen. They're sluts if they admit to liking hard sex while men are just legends and animals in the sack.