Worst sexual experience

Fozzie Bear

One of my house mates from college back in 90's was a total horn dog in his day. He was a bit of a stud muffin and he exploited this to the full. Anyway twas a usual Thursday night in Galway for our gang. Off to Laffeys bar for cheap shots and pints and then the Alley night club for a bit of skirt chasing. Aaron does his usual trick of a few quick pints, a few words in some cute girls ear and it was off home early for some loving. The following morning was fun though! We were all in the horrors down in the kitchen debating if we would go to college or not when Aaron arrives down for water. We all stop talking and stare agast at his face. It looks like he had been battered as from his nose to his chin is covered in blood. He thinks nothing of it (must have been a nose bleed) goes back upstairs and then we hear a roar. He opened his curtains to see the bed is covered in blood as is the young lady asleep in it from her waist down. Turns out she was on the rag and with the lights out Aaron had not noticed the blood everywhere. He was similarly covered in blood from the waist down as well as his face from him going down south of the border. The room looked like someone was murdered in it.

Lockstep

Achilles wrote: »

Well it was late one night when I was staying in a mate's place in Maynooth when a friend of mine came onto MSN...

Anyone want to spell this one out for me?

minidazzler wrote: »

Please tell me this is a girl in an organisation we are in?

Yes, the very same one.

Overflow wrote: »

Has she tried this out on you ?

Of course she hasn't.
I would only do such a deed if I was allowed to eat the evidence afterwards.




I still have this left over from the "Describe your sex experience using MS paint". My own worst Sex experience

Ann22

I used to work with a really sound chap from Cavan. He had me in stitches every day. He said he was in a club one night, shifted this young one and they went outside for some sweet love up against the wall. When he eventually arrived back in to his mates they all stared at him in horror and some growing amusement.... his cream chinos were destroyed in blood from the waist to the knees! :eek: Another time he told me he was in the middle of a great session in bed with another girl..he was out of his head on I don't know what, thinking himself such a stud, anyway he roars at her in the middle of it 'Who's the King?!!Who's the King?!! Amazingly she didn't burst into hysterical laughter, she put her arms around his neck and says 'you are John' (John not being his real name by the way). Can't believe he told folk this.:o

Gummy Panda

seriously all this talk of period love, there is no way there is that much blood.

And a simple towel on the bed underneath you solves any mess.

AckwelFoley

My worst sexual expierences have been documented many times before here on boards....


... and on judical trial records.

MrVestek

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I can't tell if people are being serious any more. So I'm gonna take it that it was you and doff my hat to you Sir for admitting it.

I never denied that it happened to me :-)

somethingwitty

Oh god where to start!
One time my boyfriend and I were at it and we were getting really into it and he picked me up and really really roughly went to put me up against my wardrobe so we could do it like that... he did it a bit too hard and I whacked my head off it and was unconscious for about 5 minutes!!

Then we were doing it in his room with the curtains open( forgot in the heat of the moment!!) and after a while we noticed that 2 of our friends had come up to the window to see if we were there, they brought beer, and were sitting outside sipping away, enjoying the free porn!!

The sickest thing ive ever heard happened to a friend of mine. He was giving some girl a lickout in a nightclub and it was really really dark. He thought it tasted a bit funny and asked her about it. She said it was fine, just to keep going. He went into the bathroom after that and his face was covered in blood.

Incidentaly, this is one of the same guys who watched me having sex!!:pac:

Plug

snyper wrote: »

My worst sexual expierences have been documented many times before here on boards....


... and on judical trial records.

The kiddy fiddler AKA glitter boy is back

randylonghorn

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Anyone want to spell this one out for me?

[hint] "I'm forever blowing ..." [/hint]

seclachi

somethingwitty wrote: »

Oh god where to start!
One time my boyfriend and I were at it and we were getting really into it and he picked me up and really really roughly went to put me up against my wardrobe so we could do it like that... he did it a bit too hard and I whacked my head off it and was unconscious for about 5 minutes!!

Then we were doing it in his room with the curtains open( forgot in the heat of the moment!!) and after a while we noticed that 2 of our friends had come up to the window to see if we were there, they brought beer, and were sitting outside sipping away, enjoying the free porn!!

The sickest thing ive ever heard happened to a friend of mine. He was giving some girl a lickout in a nightclub and it was really really dark. He thought it tasted a bit funny and asked her about it. She said it was fine, just to keep going. He went into the bathroom after that and his face was covered in blood.

Incidentaly, this is one of the same guys who watched me having sex!!:pac:

You sound like that couple in the fast show who are constantly bonking, I mean, first you get KO`d and then your back at it in no time ! Then your doing it with the curtains open !

Raiser

StormWarrior wrote: »

2 friends of mine were a couple, and lived with the girl's parents. One day while the parents were out, they had sex on the sofa in the living room. The man ejaculated all over the chair and left a big stain which they didn't clean off. Later that day the stain had dried, and the girl's parents came home. The mother saw the stain and asked, "What's that?" She thought it must be food or something, and started scratching at it, licking her finger to see what it was, and scratching and licking again but she couldn't work it out.

This reminds me of a post [that I nearly remember but can't find ] - Someone on here was invited to dinner and the girls Mam had an angsty teenager who was always away off up in their bedroom doing god knows what.....

- Anyway later the Mam produced all these crusty balls of tissue paper from the floor of said teens room and was handing them to your man 'cause she suspected the youngster was experimenting with drugs......:P

p.s. Somebody post a link as its worth reading the original & OP sorry if I didn't do it justice !!!

AnonoBoy

somethingwitty wrote: »

The sickest thing ive ever heard happened to a friend of mine. He was giving some girl a lickout in a nightclub and it was really really dark.

In a nightclub? That's some classy classy friend you got there!

Rozabeez

*shudders*

Was away in Galweh with a guy, we went to bed and I was reeeeeeally tired, tried to turn over to go asleep and he cried because I wouldn't face him while sleeping, so I shagged him to get him to stop crying, it worked but then he freaked out again that I wouldn't face him, basically told him to FOAD, tried to sleep on a chair, the gob****e pretty much proposed then booked the room for an extra night without telling me, let me sleep past check out time (as in turned off my alarm and all).

Not an entirely sexual experience, but definitely the worst experience I've ever had with someone I wasn't even seeing.

Insect Overlord

Rozabeez wrote: »

*shudders*

...
Not an entirely sexual experience, but definitely the worst experience I've ever had with someone I wasn't even seeing.

:eek:

AckwelFoley

Plug wrote: »

The kiddy fiddler AKA glitter boy is back

Yore ma

dr.bollocko

Rozabeez wrote: »

*shudders*

Was away in Galweh with a guy, we went to bed and I was reeeeeeally tired, tried to turn over to go asleep and he cried because I wouldn't face him while sleeping, so I shagged him to get him to stop crying, it worked but then he freaked out again that I wouldn't face him, basically told him to FOAD, tried to sleep on a chair, the gob****e pretty much proposed then booked the room for an extra night without telling me, let me sleep past check out time (as in turned off my alarm and all).

Not an entirely sexual experience, but definitely the worst experience I've ever had with someone I wasn't even seeing.

:eek:
U can shag people now to get them to stop crying now?
/off to the playground.

Irishcrx

dr.bollocko wrote: »

:eek:
U can shag people now to get them to stop crying now?
/off to the playground.

UNPURE!!!!UNPURE!!!

stovelid

I was turned down once by a woman in 1987. It was devastating.

Rozabeez

stovelid wrote: »

I was turned down once by a woman in 1987. It was devastating.

Should've tried crying.

rocky4

kearnsr wrote: »

A lad I know was telling a story that he was giving it loads to this girl he knew doggy style and during the course of it **** ever where.

They were down stairs in the parents living room on a nice white carpet that was apparently very expensive.

They couldn't clean it so blamed it on the dog. I think the dog got put down after it as well

I heard about that too ha ha!

Rozabeez

An Fhile wrote: »

:eek:

SHUT UP!

Fiend-Foe

I guess this was this guys worst sexual experience

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055402301





And his last...

Soldie

somethingwitty wrote: »

Oh god where to start!
One time my boyfriend and I were at it and we were getting really into it and he picked me up and really really roughly went to put me up against my wardrobe so we could do it like that... he did it a bit too hard and I whacked my head off it and was unconscious for about 5 minutes!!

Did he keep going?

Christy Manure

Not sexual experiences for me, but they must have been pretty unpleasant for the parties involved.

I was at a party in a certain Northern European country at the home of an 'extreme' photographer - not a pornographer, an 'artist.' Went in to use the toilet and it was up on a raised wooden platform. There was a foul stench as if nobody had flushed it all night, so I chanced a peep in the bowl and saw the guy's wife in there! She was lying inside the contraption so that all the **** and piss landed on her face. When she saw me looking at her she made this really disturbing face and went "shhh!" I could only suppose that people didn't look down into the bowl and pissed / crapped on her without knowing she was there.

A soldier I knew served in Somalia. The bar they used to drink in was full of AIDS-ridden whores. If you drank ten beers, you could ride one for free. Their method of keeping themselves safe was to wear two condoms. This creates friction, which increases the risk of the condoms breaking, so their method of alerting themselves to this was to put one on, smear chili paste on it and then put the second one on. If the whore started jumping around and screaming, it would tell them that the outer condom had broken and it was time to pull out.

AnonoBoy

Christy Manure wrote: »

I was at a party in a certain Northern European country at the home of an 'extreme' photographer - not a pornographer, an 'artist.' Went in to use the toilet and it was up on a raised wooden platform. There was a foul stench as if nobody had flushed it all night, so I chanced a peep in the bowl and saw the guy's wife in there! She was lying inside the contraption so that all the **** and piss landed on her face. When she saw me looking at her she made this really disturbing face and went "shhh!" I could only suppose that people didn't look down into the bowl and pissed / crapped on her without knowing she was there.

Was he married to a midget?

Christy Manure

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Was he married to a midget?

I only saw her face, and it was full size. The toilet was sitting on top of a wooden platform which she was inside. I didn't examine the thing in minute detail but the key feature was that it allowed her to put her face where the pool of water would be in a normal toilet.

AnonoBoy

Christy Manure wrote: »

I only saw her face, and it was full size. The toilet was sitting on top of a wooden platform which she was inside. I didn't examine the thing in minute detail but the key feature was that it allowed her to put her face where the pool of water would be in a normal toilet.

The weird thing is I don't think you're making this up.

So - did you go or hold it in and make use of their garden later?

bananamansgay

few years ago i was going out with this girl who lived at home. her parent wereaway for the weekend and i stayed ocer the night. we used to have mental sessions, very open minded young girl. we woke at 1pm the next day and just got back to it again, while she was in the doggy posistion and i was performing anulingus her granny walked in. we were on the parents bed at the time.

i think its very funny.
she doesnt talk to me anymore.

Raiser

bananamansgay wrote: »

few years ago i was going out with this girl who lived at home. her parent were away for the weekend and i stayed over the night. we used to have mental sessions, very open minded young girl.

- Fair play to her, lots of girls are far too horny to play scrabble all night.....:D

somethingwitty

Soldie wrote: »

Did he keep going?

Its funny you should ask that but yes he did!!! After a minute!! Well thats what he told me anyway and ya know I wouldnt put it past him...:rolleyes:

Oh yes and my 'classy friend' would usually NEVER do anything like that but he was very drunk....

Oh another one... my boyfriend and I were at it in my room and I have net curtains and half way through it I looked outside the window and my mam was standing there on a ladder cleaning out the gutter, probably pretending she couldnt hear anyhing. I doubt she had been there for long but I'm sure she heard enough!!!!