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Let the buyer beware!

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  • 19-10-2008 6:57pm
    #1
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,498 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Seller's Terms...what they say & what they mean...

    Just Started to break: we can lunge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet.

    Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane

    Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front lawn.

    Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse.

    Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow.

    Doing nice dressage tests: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight beforehand.

    Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.

    Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month.

    To make 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA .

    To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document.

    Bold: runaway.

    Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it.

    Needs intermediate Rider: runaway.

    Dead Quiet: just dead.

    No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle

    Has been seeen to crib-bite: we can't afford to build any more stables & fences for the him.

    No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed.

    Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stable.

    Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink.

    Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else.

    He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear...

    Flashy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable.

    Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power.

    Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back.

    Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk .

    Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby.

    Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him.

    Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay because some horse 20 generations back did something.

    Already Broken: two fences, one arm, six buckets.

    Unregistered: probably stolen

    Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men.

    Good Disposition: The only good thing about him



    Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old.

    Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they might survive.

    Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground!

    Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse.

    Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse .

    Hack Prospect: Pretty Color.

    Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse.

    To Show Home Only: Very Expensive,

    Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs.

    Dead Quiet: Lame in three Legs.

    Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round.

    Pony Type: Small and Hairy.

    Arab Type:Looks startled.

    TB Type: Looks Terrified.

    Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy.

    Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy.

    Easy to Catch: Very Old.

    All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months.

    Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the paddock fence, if you can ever catch him, you might just have yourself a great jumper!


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