A few Good Definitions

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ADULTERY -
The wrong people doing the right thing.

ALIMONY -
The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

BABY -
A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of
responsibility at the other end.

CANNIBAL -
One who is apt to pass his best friend.

CHIVALRY -
A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

CONSCIENCE -
That which hurts when everything else feels so good.

CONSTIPATION -
To have and to hold.

COOKIE -
A virgin doughnut.

DANCE -
A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.

DIVORCE -
What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.

DECOY -
A flashlight in the pants pocket.

DIARY -
Book of revelations.

DOCTOR -
A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over
them without getting his face slapped.

ENEMA -
A goose with a gush.

EXPLORATION -
Beating around the bush.

FATHER'S DAY -
Nine months before labor day.

GENTLEMAN -
One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his
elbows.

GIGGALO -
The egg that laid the golden Goose.

GLAMOUR GIRL -
a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently
full of other things; one who doesn't worry about a meat shortage.

HORSE SHOW -
A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses
showing their horses.

HUSBAND -
What is left after the nerve has been killed.

KEPT WOMAN -
One who wears mink all day and fox all night.

HUNG CHOW -
Chinese constipation.

A KISS -
Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for
downstairs merchandise.

MASTURBATION -
A solo played on a private organ.

METALLURGIST -
A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is
virgin metal or a common ore.

MINUTE MAN -
One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.

MORNING -
The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the
retiring generation arises.

MOTHER'S DAY -
Nine months after fathers day.

DONKEY BARBECUE -
Where everybody gets a piece of ass.

NUN -
A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't
never gonna get none.

NURSE -
A pan handler.

NURSERY -
A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.

PAPOOSE -
Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

PIMP -
A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.

PREGNANCY -
When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.

RHUMBA -
An asset to music.

SECRETARY -
A stenographer who watches her periods.

SIN -
Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.

SISSY -
A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.

SPRING FEVER -
When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.

STORK -
The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.

TAXIDERMIST -
A man who mounts animals.

TOMCAT -
A ball bearing mouse trap.

TRIPLETS -
Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.

VISE -
Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.

VIRGINITY -
A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.

VIRGIN WOOL -
Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.

CyrildoSquirrel

Nothng like a good quikie!