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a few new ones

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  • 27-10-2008 7:37pm
    #1
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭


    I woke up in the hospital the other day and the doctor said, "I've got some good news and bad news."

    "What's the bad news?" I asked.

    "You've been in a car crash and you're paralysed from the waist down. Your girlfriend died on impact and your son is in a coma showing no response."

    "Blimey that is bad news!" I said. "What's the good?"

    "You're favourite to win X Factor next year."
    A man was staring at his girl this morning and I said, "you know, there are three things I really don't like about you..."

    "Oh, what are they?" she asked.

    "Your chin."
    A question of philosophy

    If a woman says something, and there isn't a man around to hear her, is she still wrong?
    Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?

    I pushed him
    whats the smartest thing to come out of a womans mouth?

    einsteins c*ck!!


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    #2
    gandhi123
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭gandhi123


    Only heard this the other week:

    Whats the difference between marmalade and jam?

    You cant marmalade your dick up a girls arse!!!!:D:D


    * runs and hides cause i'm about to be battered with the ban stick:P


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