Wed Quickies

rocky25

Our dyslexic son has recently developed a fear of crocodiles, every time he sees one; he gets so scared that he vomits.

We took him to a specialist for tests and apparently he's Lacoste intolerant.

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Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

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Just heard The Manic Street Preachers "If you tolerate this, then your children will be next" on the radio.

What a great comeback record that would be for Gary Glitter.

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Saddam Hussein's biggest mistake was to employ Russian experts on military strategy.

Their "let them take as much territory as they want and then we'll wait for winter to set in" ploy had one fundamental flaw.

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My mate Dave told me that he's thinking of getting a divorce because his wife hasn't spoken to him in 6 months.

I told him he'd better think it through - wives like that are hard to come by.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He had to work it out with his fingers.

GAAman

Quality stuff rock, though i have to admit i read it as "wet quickies" shows my dirty mind eh?:D

rocky25

GAAman wrote: »

Quality stuff rock, though i have to admit i read it as "wet quickies" shows my dirty mind eh?:D

Great Minds think alike

staker

liked the constipated mathematician the best. best told mid sip of audience' pint:D

chin_grin

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

Heard another variation of this....the punchline was "He had to work it out with a pencil".

Thanks for those!

dh0661

rocky25 wrote: »

I told him he'd better think it through - wives like that are hard to come by.

There are two meanings to this, I think. :rolleyes:

Stabshauptmann

dh0661 wrote: »

There are two meanings to this, I think. :rolleyes:

nice