What's the big attraction with men in bands/football players?

jill_valentine

Dragan, seeing as it's the internet, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you might not be as fugly as some of the Hurlers I know, but I need to know something: Is ugliness related to skill?

I mean, are ugly hurlers generally better hurlers? Are they ugly because they're willing to take a battering where the pretty boys won't? Or are they ugly because they're crap hurlers and keep trying to catch things with their faces?

Acacia

sunnyside wrote: »

I can understand this but it doesn't last beyond the 2 hours they are on stage. When I first met the singer who employs my ex I was disappointed. I suppose I was expecting the vibrant and lively stage persona but he was just so ordinary. He was talking about and worrying about his mother who was in hospital, on the phone making a dentist's appointment, completely ordinary and mundane. A nice guy yes but no different to anybody else.

Ah yeah, I know that, it's just the on-stage persona is very attractive and that's probably why bands get groupies. I've never actually gone up to musicians after their set and flirted with them or anything( unless I knew them already!) , but I can understand why other girls would. What can I say, I've a soft spot for musicians and performers!

Will

Don't think there's any correlation between skill (whatever it may be) and attractiveness (of any sort).

Dragan

jill_valentine wrote: »

Dragan, seeing as it's the internet, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you might not be as fugly as some of the Hurlers I know, but I need to know something: Is ugliness related to skill?

I mean, are ugly hurlers generally better hurlers? Are they ugly because they're willing to take a battering where the pretty boys won't? Or are they ugly because they're crap hurlers and keep trying to catch things with their faces?

LoL, could be any of it. Generally speaking GAA won't produce guys who are going to get sponsoship deals with clothing lines etc. Why?

Limited gene pool mostly.

I have played with some pretty stunning looking guys, in all sports. I think it is one of those sports that doesn't allow for ego, or being a pussy when it comes to taking some damage.

As an example, i know one guy who is one of the best martial artists i have ever met. He's a natural talent, a big strong lean and good looking guy. Untapped potential and he could, effectively with the right training and coaching, do really well for himself.

He'll never fight because he is too afraid of getting hit in the face. It's not pain he is afraid of, it's scars.

Go figure.

LightningBolt

Dragan wrote: »

I find my sure fire way of getting interest is simply to sing.

Jeff Buckley ftw!

Especially if you're standing outside her apartment at 3 in the morning

I have the groupie lust for Damien Dempsey. Nothing seedy about creative nonsense, the man has great shoulders for an Irish bloke. Unfortunately I am not alone.

Here is an excerpt from the message board on his site.

"when he descended from the steps of the stage to go back to the dress area, I was right in the line of fire in the crowd (this was a tiny little club, so yeah, in order to go "backstage" you have to walk through the crowd to get there). Before I knew it, I had stepped right out and opened my arms and he sank right into them. He deepened the hug, and though I felt like I was being mashed against a wall (sternum, ribs, the works. ah, my poor boobies! Jesus!), I wasn't complaining. I was in heaven!

He held on to me for quite some time (I think I gave him some circle rubbies on his back, I can't remember), until I broke the embrace with a kiss or two to his neck (cos that's all a gal of my height is gonna reach off a guy of his). Very soft, baby skin he's got, not much stubble at all. I'm almost jealous, LOL!

Then he scampered off to get better (so much for being sick though!). That was at the beginning of the year and I still can feel that warmth even now. Just amazing--and completely unexpected! "

Oh I bet documentary video footage would tell a different story.

Frankly I'd be terrified if I had one of these coming at me.

Your story makes me sad op.
I just don't understand how the worst case scenario, is more painful than not being with someone you really like. Especially as he doesn't seem to have done anything himself to make you worry.

jill_valentine

I find the musician thing quite frustrating, really, because it's so irrational. I mean, I don't think foreign aid workers are exactly swimmin' in bitches and ho's, and you'd kind of think that if you were unconsciously looking for sexy, romantic qualities, your foreign aid workers would be a good bet.

Plus, I know for a fact that musicians have a disproportionately high rate of serious personality disorders, so deep down I already know most of them are twats. And any of my friends who are into music, I knew those guys as nice guys before I knew them as musicians, so I don't really think of them the same way, the music isn't a factor in my liking of them.

I'm rational enough to know that finding a guitar-guy attractive on stage is not a basis for a long term relationship or anything. But I'm still irrational enough to find him attractive in the first place. I'm a slave to my girlish whims.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Omg!
What have you heard, really I haven't 'broken' that many....

I heard they named a hospital ward after you...:D

It's down to a basic attraction trigger. In this case in women. As I said high social value men get more women. High social value men have more resources socially than low value males. That can be applied to all cultures and situations. In our culture a rock star, movie stars, racing driver, footballer, billionaire are all examples of the pinnacle of that value. They're the extremes. In other cultures it might be how many cows or land etc a guy has.

So you get up on stage in some ballygobackwards pub and wail out bad teenage angst songs and at that moment in that context you are the highest social value male in the room. Cue interest from women. They are also somewhat wearing the mask of the higher value males. This goes for men too. High value females in this society, are judged on looks, youth and reproductive fitness. Slim, small waist, large(but not comically large) boobs, long legs etc. Say Kelly brook as a good example. Now you will have a woman that approaches that extreme and men will fawn over her. Of course if kelly brook actually walked in the local lass would be relegated to second place. Much in the same way if a 25 year old Mick jagger say strolled into the pub in ballygobackwards.

The promiscuity angle is simple enough I reckon. Faced with those triggers we all try to get the highest value mate we can get based on our own value. Study after study have shown that we do this anyway. If ten couples pictures are separated into individual men and women and people are asked to match them as couples, the accuracy rate is very high. Generally, the only thing that will skew it is the wealth/social power of the man. If we get the chance to get with an extreme that we normally wouldnt get near then many will take that risk. Both men and women(unless in the early stages of luuurve).

A guy may not cheat on his partner with Maureen down the road. The risk won't be worth the reward. But chances go up a lot if he is propositioned by someone like the aforementioned kelly brook. He may prefer a long termer, but will take the one nighter if offered.

Same goes for women. Indeed in my experience young women, especially high value women are more likely to keep an eye open for a better opportunity(to cheat or more often move up in status permanently). I would say the lower the status of the man compared to his partner the higher the chances of cheating. Later on it's more likely to be men that do it. Basically more 22 year old women playing away than 22 year old men and more 45 year old men playing away than 45 year old women.

But after all that BS, GAA players? really don't get it.

Nevyn

Wibbs wrote: »

I heard they named a hospital ward after you...:D

ah ok that makes more sense if you mean broken in terms of the mental and emotional rather then physical.

Wibbs wrote: »

But after all that BS, GAA players? really don't get it.

You're a Dub, you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

Galvasean

Thaedydal wrote: »

You're a Dub, you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

jill_valentine

I think out there, in the dark midlands, it's a far more Darwinian instinct. You know, GAA players, you can size up their good meaty thighs and strong lifting shoulders and decide that yes, they can probably club the most mammoths to death to provide for your potential litter.

Scary place out there, you know.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

ah ok that makes more sense if you mean broken in terms of the mental and emotional rather then physical.

You're a Dub,

Thank God....

you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

..... for this reason:p:D

Nevyn

Galvasean wrote: »

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

Yep.

jill_valentine wrote: »

I think out there, in the dark midlands, it's a far more Darwinian instinct. You know, GAA players, you can size up their good meaty thighs and strong lifting shoulders and decide that yes, they can probably club the most mammoths to death to provide for your potential litter.

Scary place out there, you know.

Well it can be a good gage if you are looking for someone who will work on the farm all hours of the night and day and be carrying bales of hay and trunips to the cattle.

WindSock

Thats because there is nothing to do down in the shticks, so they have to worship something that might give them a thrill. The Virgin Mary just doesn't do it for most people :P

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yep.



Well it can be a good gage if you are looking for someone who will work on the farm all hours of the night and day and be carrying bales of hay and trunips to the cattle.

Oh please! That is the purpose of breeding.
Acreage is the only important factor when chosing a life partner.

Dragan

Galvasean wrote: »

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

I'd call in localised pride.

How many people who pop on a Dublin Jersey actually know any of the players who will be on the field. Same for Munster, or Leinster Rugby?

Very few.

Generally speak, down the sticks as people say, we went to school with a few players, played with them ourselves. They work local, maybe own a local business.

These are people we talk to everyday of our lives for some of us.

So you know them, you appreciate their efforts, you have an emotional investment in whether these people that you know win or lose.

That type of contact with people can do a lot for your attraction to them i guess?

People laugh about it, but many folk down the country take the success of the local team very much the heart. You don't get fair weather fans, male or female.

jill_valentine

That's a very good point, Dragan, but on the other hand, I've got dwendy akers, and you've got fordy three.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAh_A7N3_mc

jill_valentine

jill_valentine wrote: »

I've got dwendy akers, and you've got fordy three.

That time you went down the country, did you cross a glow in the dark stretch of sea, and did the people have an ungodly fascination with all things pastie?

Fact. English men have smaller acres. Yuck!

Anyway who I really don't understand are the "It's got a pee pee and a pulse and it works in my office" groupies.

WW3 broke out in my Sis'es place last year, because one of the girls managed to snog the aforementioned object of everyones affection.
She ended up getting lectured on sisterhood, while being held hostage in the stationary cupboard.

stovelid

sunnyside wrote: »

Does anybody have an explanation as to why certain women seem to throw themselves at these people?

Wibbs

Moonbaby wrote: »

Anyway who I really don't understand are the "It's got a pee pee and a pulse and it works in my office" groupies.

WW3 broke out in my Sis'es place last year, because one of the girls managed to snog the aforementioned object of everyones affection.
She ended up getting lectured on sisterhood, while being held hostage in the stationary cupboard.

People are very situational and actually quite easy to predict and in that situation, office pulse boy is the highest value male, hence the attraction. Throw in women being more socially competitive and it can get whipped up into a frenzy that the object didn't deserve in the first place. They dislike her because a) she "won" and b) has killed the fantasy. If any of them think they're higher value(better looking) than your sis then they'll really dislike her.

Galvasean

*sigh*

It's lonely at the top..

JaneyMc

On top of your high horse is it?

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

People are very situational and actually quite easy to predict and in that situation, office pulse boy is the highest value male, hence the attraction. Throw in women being more socially competitive and it can get whipped up into a frenzy that the object didn't deserve in the first place. They dislike her because a) she "won" and b) has killed the fantasy. If any of them think they're higher value(better looking) than your sis then they'll really dislike her.

Sorry Wibbs my eyes glaze over when you go all primal instincts on us. :P
Boredom and estrogen gets my vote.

Galvasean

JaneyMc wrote: »

On top of your high horse is it?

I was gonna say pedestal but..

JaneyMc

The horse is higher, stick with the horse.

Trinity

No explanation as have never been attracted to the sort. I do however appreciate peoples talents. When i see someone really talented and working hard and practising, i admire them but thats a different thingl I dont throw myself at them or want to sleep with them.

jill_valentine

No, I do have a complete creativity crush thing.

Smart Jill, she says "Hmm, that music is quite good.", and goes off to buy the band's CD.

But the other one, the other Jill, Horny Idiot Jill, she's different.

She says "Hmm, that music is quite good. Everything the people who make that music say is brilliantly hilarious or profound as appropriate, just because they're the ones saying it. I would quite like to talk to them, and would value their opinion on a wide variety of subjects regardless of how entirely unrelated to music they might be. I'll bet they spend their weekends working in a swan sanctuary, tending the wounds of injured baby swan orphans. They are not especially objectively physically attractive in any way, but for some reason, I now quite badly want to grope them. "

Smart Jill can usually keep Horny Idiot Jill quiet, and superficially maintain the cool logical demeanour of a grown-up.

But sometimes, sometimes, Horny Idiot Jill catches me unawares and I find myself saying things like "I like the way he holds his guitar, durrr. " aloud in the presence of normal people. Those are bad times.

Dudess

Oh how I can relate!

cuckoo

Moonbaby wrote: »

Oh please! That is the purpose of breeding.
Acreage is the only important factor when chosing a life partner.

I thought frontage was what mattered?

To channel Wibbs for a moment: the whole social value male thing can be carried beyond guys on stage or on the playing field. I find that there can be something very attractive about a Garda directing traffic (and it's not just those leather trousers that the Traffic Corp wear....). The masterful swoop of his hand as he controls the flow of cars, buses and big big lorries... *swoon*

Taking that Garda away from that centre stage position, and putting him behind a desk signing passport forms is the equivalent of smelling salts for me - i snap out of the swoon and am no longer as interested as my perception of his social value is now lower.

SarahSassy

I would have no particular interest in either... Music and GAA bores dont do it for me....