2 Quick Um's

rocky25

A guy on a date parks and gets the girl in the back seat and they make love.

The girl wants it again and the guy obliges her.

She wants more and they do it again.

She still wants more and the guy says

"Excuse me a minute I have to relive myself."

While out of the car he notices a guy a half block away changing a flat.

He asks the guy

"Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've given it to her four or five times and she still wants more.

I'll change your flat if you'll take over for me."

The guy does and is just getting in the high numbers when a cop knocks on the window and shines a light on them.

The cop asks

"What're you doing in there?"

The guy says "I'm making love to my wife."

The cop asks

"Why don't you do that at home?"

The guy answers

"To tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife until you shined the light on her."

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A priest in a small rural town was very fond of his 10 chickens and 1 handsome cock he kept in a hen house behind the rectory.

One Saturday night the priest discovered that the rooster was missing.

At the same time the Priest heard rumours of cockfights being held in town.

Shocked and dismayed, he decided to say something during Mass.

During Mass he asked the congregation,

"Who among you will confess to sporting a handsome cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said.

"That's not what I mean.

Who among you will confess to having seen a handsome cock?"

All the women stood up.

"Oh, no," he said.

"That's not what I mean either.

Who among you will confess to having seen a cock that doesn't belong to you?"

Half the women stood up.

"Oh Lord," he said.

"Perhaps I should rephrase the question:

"Has anybody seen my cock?"

All the Alterboys stood up.

Homer

Love the second one Rocky.. Comedy gold there..Have some stars

gerTheGreat

The second one is just evil.... i love it!

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom.