Would you come back as a man or woman in your next life?

brianthebard

And in these recessionary times, we have to do whatever it takes...load the camcorder randy, let's get to business. :pac:

randylonghorn

Ok ... wait, though!

Hmmm ... I have this nagging feeeling we're forgetting something ... ?




Ah yes ....

brianthebard

....I think we have to wait a while before we can be considered lesbians....I think we have a little too much cock atm...

randylonghorn

brianthebard wrote: »

I think we have a little too much cock atm...

Speak for yourself, dude!

LightningBolt

I think I'll stay the same thanks, no need to worry about getting upset over petty little things, instead I'd rather get upset over real issues like my team losing:D

brianthebard

randylonghorn wrote: »

Speak for yourself, dude!

ouch, snap. Sure you're not a woman already, you're certainly bitchy enough.

randylonghorn

brianthebard wrote: »

ouch, snap. Sure you're not a woman already, you're certainly bitchy enough.

:eek:

/glances nervously around the Lounge

/backs slowly away from Brian

/listens to the growing groundswell of angry muttering

/turns and flees

brianthebard

Lolz!

darling.x

I would come back as a male. I'd get kicked in the balls just to see would it be as sore as having periods.

bug

A woman, or a cat.

challengemaster

darling.x wrote: »

I would come back as a male. I'd get kicked in the balls just to see would it be as sore as having periods.

Just get someone to hit you a cúnt punt now. Fairly similar.

spinandscribble

man. i want to see what all the fuss is about. i'd be the gayest man ever though.

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

spinandscribble

eVeNtInE wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

one word....



fantastic

EamonnKeane

SarahSassy wrote: »

I think next time round I would like to be a guy just to see how the other half lives.. To have a less complicated emotional structure and not to have periods to dread

Where did you pick this assumption up? I mean, isn't that what people used to say about black people, and used it to justify mistreatment?

eh....


Sooo boyparts are ridicuolous ugly, how could you possible take yourself seriously with all that swinging from your crotch mid rant.
And the period thing, having to put up with someone having a bad tot is much more painful than actually having one. For me at least.
Chocolate wouldn't taste as good and you'd have crappy orgasms.
You'd never be able to find anything with your ****ty periphal vison and your Irish mother would have a worrying attachment.
You'd have to actually listen to bastards because you were one of the lads and you would be high horseless.
And toilets would always be dirty, sure the peeing standing up means you'd only have too look and smell but it would be acceptable for weirdos to look at your embarrassing dingle dangley parts while you were at it.
You'd have to pretend to care about sport too, and feel ashamed of your fascination with sparkley things and comfortable chic furnishings.
hhmm the grass is definitely not greener on that side.

Wibbs

Moonbaby wrote: »

Sooo boyparts are ridicuolous ugly, how could you possible take yourself seriously with all that swinging from your crotch mid rant.

Valid point. Thank god for pants.

And the period thing, having to put up with someone having a bad tot is much more painful than actually having one. For me at least.

Quoted for truth. Though as a man you do learn to zone out and nod at appropriate times. Which goes for many arguments truth be told.

Chocolate wouldn't taste as good and you'd have crappy orgasms.

True, but it doesn't magically go to our hips as easily and while multiples take time and effort to master, we at least are guaranteed one. Every single time. Try finding a man's magazine with a front cover article that asks "how to have an orgasm".

You'd never be able to find anything with your ****ty periphal vison and your Irish mother would have a worrying attachment.

Yea but we're less easily distracted because of tunnel vision. Actually one of the advantages of a relationship is having both viewpoints. Daddies have as much, if not more of a role to play in many womens future relationships. Just not as obvious.

You'd have to actually listen to bastards because you were one of the lads and you would be high horseless.

Or maybe we just agree with them.

And toilets would always be dirty, sure the peeing standing up means you'd only have too look and smell but it would be acceptable for weirdos to look at your embarrassing dingle dangley parts while you were at it.

Cubicles ftw, but yea male public conveniences are pretty dire.

You'd have to pretend to care about sport too, and feel ashamed of your fascination with sparkley things and comfortable chic furnishings.

Or be into both.

hhmm the grass is definitely not greener on that side.

Yea but it's our grass dammit!:)

Dragan

darling.x wrote: »

I would come back as a male. I'd get kicked in the balls just to see would it be as sore as having periods.

Okay, just for you, here is the break down.

1) The Contact - "Oh **** , oh ****, something just hit me in the nuts!"
You next half a second to full second will be spent thinking about what kind of impact it was and how much it will hurt. Mentally and emotionally this can feel like an hour as you wait for the pain and the sick feeling to kick in.

2) The Pain - You get a sudden dart of localised pain from whichever nut took the brunt of the impact. This is your nut telling you "Dude, we got hit man, look out!" It will be sharp or dull, throbbing or stabbing...it all depends on what hit you and how. The thing you can be sure of is this is just the begining.

3) The Drop - if you got hit bad enough you will hit the deck, no questions asked. You will be curled up around yourself and be the center of your own universe of pain, sick feelings and then worry. It won't matter where you are or who is with you, **** them all, the ground is your friend.

4) The Illness - this is the worst bit. It seeps up your insides starting with your nuts, a strange numb ( yet still painful somehow ) sick feeling that reaches into your intestines and then you stomach. You feel like you are going to puke. If you original Impact could be classified as a "ding" then you most likely will puke. The puking will also make the pain in your lower abdomen much worse.

4) The Promise - a shot in the nuts will sit with you for anywhere from an hour to a week, depending on the type of impact and where it hit you. When i was 14 i got hit in the nuts with a wet dry weather sliothar. That pain was intense and stayed with me for 6 days. Awesome. This is the part where your brain is starting to function again and you are trying to figure out how long the pain will stick around for.

5) The Worry - you just got him in a delicate organ, but something with a decent amount of force. There may have been some serious damage done and it can be hard to tell. Time to worry.

So there you go, roughly thats how it goes.

Wibbs

Nothing roughly about that description, That could pass for a perfect definition of a nut smack. Oooooooaaaauch Just reading it.

Bijoux

Wibbs wrote: »

Nothing roughly about that description, That could pass for a perfect definition of a nut smack. Oooooooaaaauch Just reading it.

I think I'd still be a dude....I'd probably wear a cup the whole time though!

Ouch!!!

brianthebard

Dragan wrote:

The Promise - a shot in the nuts will sit with you for anywhere from an hour to a week, depending on the type of impact and where it hit you. When i was 14 i got hit in the nuts with a wet dry weather sliothar. That pain was intense and stayed with me for 6 days. Awesome. This is the part where your brain is starting to function again and you are trying to figure out how long the pain will stick around for.

Hungh! I had to cover my nuts and promise not to let that happen them when I read that. Fuuuuuuuck! I think getting hit in the nuts is kind of like those sympathy pregnancy pains people get.

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

Sooo boyparts are ridicuolous ugly, how could you possible take yourself seriously with all that swinging from your crotch mid rant.

Hence why men seem to be more successful comedians, no-one will take us seriously when we complain:( so we have to try use humour to make our points.:p


As for the whole being kicked in the nuts thing it's highly dependent on how exactly the kick connects and whether the testes suffer much of the blow. I've never understood why a non-vital (though from a personal point castration may be as good as death to many lads it will not result in it:rolleyes:) organ has so many nerve endings to warn of damage to it.

Dragan

farohar wrote: »

I've never understood why a non-vital (though from a personal point castration may be as good as death to many lads it will not result in it:rolleyes:) organ has so many nerve endings to warn of damage to it.

Nature. It's a bitch. We need to have sex organs that both entice is the get them played with but also make sure we keep them safe.

Annoying.

I'd be tempted to come back as a woman, experience both sides. But I like being a man too much!!

Captain Chaos

Dragan wrote: »

Okay, just for you, here is the break down.

1) The Contact - "Oh **** , oh ****, something just hit me in the nuts!"
You next half a second to full second will be spent thinking about what kind of impact it was and how much it will hurt. Mentally and emotionally this can feel like an hour as you wait for the pain and the sick feeling to kick in.

2) The Pain - You get a sudden dart of localised pain from whichever nut took the brunt of the impact. This is your nut telling you "Dude, we got hit man, look out!" It will be sharp or dull, throbbing or stabbing...it all depends on what hit you and how. The thing you can be sure of is this is just the begining.

3) The Drop - if you got hit bad enough you will hit the deck, no questions asked. You will be curled up around yourself and be the center of your own universe of pain, sick feelings and then worry. It won't matter where you are or who is with you, **** them all, the ground is your friend.

4) The Illness - this is the worst bit. It seeps up your insides starting with your nuts, a strange numb ( yet still painful somehow ) sick feeling that reaches into your intestines and then you stomach. You feel like you are going to puke. If you original Impact could be classified as a "ding" then you most likely will puke. The puking will also make the pain in your lower abdomen much worse.

4) The Promise - a shot in the nuts will sit with you for anywhere from an hour to a week, depending on the type of impact and where it hit you. When i was 14 i got hit in the nuts with a wet dry weather sliothar. That pain was intense and stayed with me for 6 days. Awesome. This is the part where your brain is starting to function again and you are trying to figure out how long the pain will stick around for.

5) The Worry - you just got him in a delicate organ, but something with a decent amount of force. There may have been some serious damage done and it can be hard to tell. Time to worry.

So there you go, roughly thats how it goes.

That was exactly what it was like when I got hit in the left nad with a paint ball a few months ago. I froze for a few seconds, saying I can deal with this over and over in my head, but the pain just kept getting worse and I fell to my kness and my eyes started streaming.

I was walking around like John Wayne for a few days because of the swelling:D

I thought getting shot in the front of the neck at near point blank was bad till that happened.

EamonnKeane

farohar wrote: »

Hence why men seem to be more successful comedians, no-one will take us seriously when we complain:( so we have to try use humour to make our points.:p


As for the whole being kicked in the nuts thing it's highly dependent on how exactly the kick connects and whether the testes suffer much of the blow. I've never understood why a non-vital (though from a personal point castration may be as good as death to many lads it will not result in it:rolleyes:) organ has so many nerve endings to warn of damage to it.

All organs have that many nerve endings, it's just that they're better protected with skin and fat.

randylonghorn

Dragan, shaddap dude, just shaddap shaddap shaddap!!11! >.<

/crosses legs

Moonbaby wrote: »

Sooo boyparts are ridicuolous ugly, how could you possible take yourself seriously with all that swinging from your crotch mid rant.

Most of us with any sense don't ...

Moonbaby wrote: »

... your Irish mother would have a worrying attachment.

^_~

Em ... no.

Me, yes.

My mother, no! :eek:

Moonbaby wrote: »

... it would be acceptable for weirdos to look at your embarrassing dingle dangley parts while you were at it.

Em ... no, it's definitely not acceptable. Not even for non-weirdos. Not even for your friends. Well, ok, maybe for about 2 minutes when you're 10, and the first guy on the football team suddenly sprouts hair ... but after that, no, no, no!!

Reku

randylonghorn wrote: »

Em ... no, it's definitely not acceptable. Not even for non-weirdos. Not even for your friends. Well, ok, maybe for about 2 minutes when you're 10, and the first guy on the football team suddenly sprouts hair ... but after that, no, no, no!!

Indeed, I do have to wonder if, like many lads have unrealistic fantasies regarding what girls get up to at sleepovers and such, perhaps Moonbaby has some naughty fantasies regarding lads comparing their tackle while peeing.:p
While standing at a urinal you are required to keep your eyes facing forward, there is to be no having a look at those around you, just one of those rules you either follow or get a bloody nose.:cool:

Elle Victorine

A man. No desire to be a girl again.

WindSock

Hmm...would the world be a happier place if we were all gay men and grew babies in jars...