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Stupid Paddy jokes

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  • 08-11-2008 2:21pm
    #1
    bigtimecharlie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,080 ✭✭✭


    Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy
    missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
    A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
    The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in
    disgust 'I'd rather make love to a dozen women than let liquor touch my
    lips!' Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a
    choice!'
    Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people
    are flying with you?'
    Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!'
    Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'Im
    gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!' He climbs up the
    rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!'
    Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go
    home' So he leaves the site.

    Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. 'Where the hell are
    you going?' asks the Foreman. 'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says
    Murphy.
    Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours
    of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
    Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses &
    lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want don’t you?'

    'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
    Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
    servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was
    a death trap!


    An Irishman is making love to a Jewish girl & says 'You're not very tight for
    a Jew!'

    She says 'Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!'
    Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
    'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'
    Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say
    'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'

    Paddy says 'Whats his name?'

    Mick replies 'Miles from London!'


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