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PLEASE HELP, my worlds coming apart...

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  • 08-11-2008 10:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Im so upset. I was just looking up stuff online about some stupid L word spinoff and came accross this lesbian type bebo site, i clicked it and it was automatically logged in as my girlfriend. So naturally I pressed 'view profile' and it was all with new pictures of her etc and it said shes single. we're together a year and a half. I know this is wrong but I pressed view messages and saw this message she'd sent to some girl saying 'love your photos xx' Im so upset and I feel like this is cheating. Should I confront her or am i being dramatic? I hate the internet. Part of me wants to wait to see what other messages shed send but thats too wrong and im too scared. Please help, what should I do, I love her


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    #2
    Weidii
    Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    Did you check the date the message was sent? It might have been sent before you got together.


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    #3
    grotty
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭grotty


    There seems to be two issues - 1 that she has said she is single in her profile- if she isn't out that seems harmless enough, she probably wouldn't like to have to answer questions about her "boyfriend" so it is simpler to say she is single.

    The other issue is that she has sent someone a message - I can't tell from what she (and neither can you ) if this is a friendly message or something more. You can second guess the intention behind your girlfriends comments but it would be a waste of time. A message like that wouldn't worry me, but it is clearly worrying you, so do ask her is there anything in it.....

    Best of luck


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    #4
    Goodshape
    Registered Users Posts: 8,488 ✭✭✭Goodshape


    Unregistered wrote: »
    am i being dramatic?
    Sounds like it, tbh.

    Good chance it's totally innocent. She said she loved the photos, not the photographer? No biggie. She may not have updated her relationship status... no biggie either.

    If this is all the evidence you've got to suggest a cheating girlfriend, I wouldn't worry about it.

    "confront her"? Maybe... or you could just ask her about it, in a less 'confrontational' manner.


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    #5
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    So shes keeping secrets and you're invading her privacy. Not healthy in my opinion. Now you're also keeping secrets.


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    #6
    mollyoh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭mollyoh


    You werent invading her privacy.. she didnt log out properly by the sound of things.. I wouldnt look into it any further cause you will just get freaked out about (I know from experience! similar thing happened me with my ex) I would confront her with what you have seen and see what she tells you first. It may be innocent and from before you got together.


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    #7
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I know this is wrong but I pressed view messages and saw this message...
    mollyoh wrote: »
    You werent invading her privacy..

    She did invade her girlfriends privacy. The profile wasn't private, the messages where.


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    #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks for the replies everyone. a couple of things to say on it to clarify.
    Its a lesbian website so the issue of 'do you have a boyfriend' doesnt count.
    The message was sent like a few hours before i saw it, thats why it was still logged on. I saw her make the profile about a year ago (and forgot about it) and it was very basic and it said she was involved so she has changed it since.
    The girl only has photos of herself up so love the photos kinda upset me.
    And yeah i guess I did invade her privacy, but if that profile hadnt said single theres no way I would have looked at the messages. But that was still wrong, I couldnt control humand nature for a minute I suppose. Its like shes advertising herself. I wouldnt care if she said she was with someone and someone started flirting with her and she maybe responded a bit. But this is so sneaky. And I hate that Im part of it now. Shes being SO normal with me, she even surpised me lately with a lovely night in when she was meant to be at work. So i dunno whats going on in her head. Id sooner never have seen that profile but now that I have its all I think of when she says nice things to me. I guess it depends on what your opinion of cheating is. I know she isnt as tolerant as I am even! I havent said anything yet. I dont know why. I feel so betrayed, Im always so honest about having a girlfriend etc.


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