The Male body

Macha

g'em wrote: »

Is it fair to say that, in general, women tend to be more forgiving of body shape than men are? Do we look beyond shape and consider personality above all else?

Maybe a lot of women are too busy critically viewing their own bodies to worry about anyone else's body?

(Or maybe that was just me )

And maybe some guys are more judgemental because they think it's expected of them, from friends or whoever? I know girls do it as well, but often you can't see how fit a guy's body is in a jeans & t-shirt whereas most girls wear tight/revealing clothes when they're out?

Ginny

Galvasean wrote: »

Dream date?

Oh dear jesus WHY?

All of my exes and current OH facially look completely different and physically completely different too.
Most of them I'd known as friends first and personalities and physically attraction played (in most cases) an equal part. I couldn't be with someone I wasn't physically and mentally attracted to.

metaoblivia

g'em wrote: »

Is it fair to say that, in general, women tend to be more forgiving of body shape than men are? Do we look beyond shape and consider personality above all else?

Or is it simply that we're pickier about whom we choose to romp with between the sheets in the first place and don't have the same "I shagged a fat bird for the lulz" tales to tell?

For me, it's more the latter. If I'm going to have a romp in the sheets with someone, it's definitely going to be someone I'm physically attracted to. And for one reason or another, I just don't find tubby or fat attractive (to a poster who asked what defines tubby/fat - it varies from woman to woman, but from my perspective, the "largest" guy I've been attracted to is the actor Seth Rogan).
I think that taconnel makes a good point too, though. A lot of women aren't happy with their bodies and worry more about how men will see their body as opposed to how they see a man's body.

Reku

Iago wrote: »

I'll let you in on a little secret, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else...


...it's all about how you carry yourself. If you're happy in yourself, and don't let others get to you then you'll carry yourself a lot better and people will notice. Confidence and keeping your head held high will influence people regardless of what you look like. People will see it in your eyes, your walk, your stance, and they can't help but react to it. Some of the most successful people I've ever met wouldn't get a second look only for their deportment.

If you start to believe it, so will others.

Afraid you misunderstand:), I've no problem faking confidence when needed, e.g. presentations and conferences, however given the choice I prefer to pass un-noticed, coming accross as confident is usually misconstrued as being sociable, socialising only tends to remind me of why I prefer not to.

Everything regarding my appearance is an thought out choice, I wear tracksuits since they allow freedom of movement should I need to do so, I wear predominantly black as it does not draw attention like bright colours do, I wear hoodies due to the misconception of "scumbag" that they result in. So I don't draw attention, deter it when examined and can make a quick exit if the rest fails. Dressing well, or attractive, does just that; attracts attention, which for me is undesired.

Gyalist

I thank Barack Obama for making us tall. slim guys fashionable again.

Obama is a minger.
He make GW look doable.

Meaty moobs are grand, pointy aren't aesthetically pleasing but they aren't offputting.
I like bellys.
Six packs weird me out the most, I can get over that though.

Chessey teeth or slimey pointy tongue are instant passion killers though.

As is a stranger trying to get me in the sack.

brianthebard

metaoblivia wrote: »

For me, it's more the latter. If I'm going to have a romp in the sheets with someone, it's definitely going to be someone I'm physically attracted to. And for one reason or another, I just don't find tubby or fat attractive (to a poster who asked what defines tubby/fat - it varies from woman to woman, but from my perspective, the "largest" guy I've been attracted to is the actor Seth Rogan).

That guy is fairly heavy, I might still be in with a shot....

cormie

metaoblivia wrote: »

For me, it's more the latter. If I'm going to have a romp in the sheets with someone, it's definitely going to be someone I'm physically attracted to. And for one reason or another, I just don't find tubby or fat attractive.....

Were you ever overweight yourself?

metaoblivia

cormie wrote: »

Were you ever overweight yourself?

Nope. Never had a problem with my weight.

cormie

It's just that I used to be pretty chunky and I wouldn't be attracted to an overweight girl and my friend who is pretty slim himself doesn't like slim girls so were thinking attraction may be somewhat based on your own attributes and you wouldn't be attracted to a somebody who has features that you dislike about your own body. Lucky you anyway

Raze_them_all

I used to be 16 and a half stone and my ex was about 7 and a half 8 stone. I'm attracted to attractive girls not ones i think i could get

metaoblivia

cormie wrote: »

It's just that I used to be pretty chunky and I wouldn't be attracted to an overweight girl and my friend who is pretty slim himself doesn't like slim girls so were thinking attraction may be somewhat based on your own attributes and you wouldn't be attracted to a somebody who has features that you dislike about your own body. Lucky you anyway

Yeah, I can see the reasoning behind that. And I don't know about lucky - the healthiest relationship I've ever had is my relationship with food. I just don't have a big appetite or a sweet tooth. Every other relationship resides somewhere in the realm of dysfunction.

LightningBolt

cormie wrote: »

It's just that I used to be pretty chunky and I wouldn't be attracted to an overweight girl and my friend who is pretty slim himself doesn't like slim girls so were thinking attraction may be somewhat based on your own attributes and you wouldn't be attracted to a somebody who has features that you dislike about your own body. Lucky you anyway

That's understandable, I've actually been with two girls before who told me they'd prefer me to be a bit softer. They both had to fight to keep a good shape so perhaps if I'd have been softer it may have easier for them to be happy with their own bodies if that makes sense. I think a womans age has a lot to do with their expectations of a mans body, the younger types are in my experience definitely drawn to the "fit" type whilst as they get older they become more forgiving.

PrettyInPunk

It is about personality and chemistry, but for me i cant have chemistry with someone if im not physically attracted to them. And im not attracted to overweight guys

BKtje

As prettyinpink said, you can't be attracted to someone who by your nature you ain't attracted too. You can't force yourself to like someone you don't.

Personally i'm attracted to the physically active type, i guess this is something to do with the fact that i'm physically pretty active. However it isn't the be all and end all for me, what i also find very attractive is a girl who is confident/happy ( who isn't?) in herself and who is willing to have a good time. This (imo) is just as important as physical atractiveness in a more long term partner. That said, if i don't find something about her physically appealing in any way it's unlikely to lead anywhere in the longer term no matter how appealing she is in other ways. Probably a lesson i should teach myself seeing as i'm pretty quiet/shy.

Basically what i'm saying is that first impressions/looks are important but it/s not the end for you if this impression isn't "the best". Most people look for different things in a partner and first impressions (except when your clubbing etc/ one night stand) ain't really important if you come accross well after and make the effort to make an impact.

Madame Razz

I agree that you can't help who you are attracted to. Chemistry can be a huge factor. And I think the physical appearance of most Irish men isn't so bad actually.......we have GAA and farming to thank for that methinks!!

Personally I find I can be a lot shallower if its somebody that I don't know very well and meet in a bar etc/ that attraction is solely based on the physical. That said if on talking to him he came across like a mong and had the personality of a brick I'd run away very fast.

If its somebody with whom I am friendly with but a chemistry develops and things go from there, than it focuses more on the person as opposed to their appearance. You still must find certain physical attributes attractive tho.

That said I would have a preference for a more toned sort of a fella, but if he was carrying a few pounds I wouldn't hold it against him; cos I could do with losing a few meself!! No nos for me generally would be hairy backs(of course:D), moobs, beer bellys, horrible teeth.

Hygiene is also important and that a guy is relatively presentable in his appearance; I aint looking for a metrosexual but at least make an effort to have the shirt ironed and not falling to pieces!!

But ultimately personality is extremely important also......afterall, you can do a lot of things to a fine arse....but talking to it isn't one of them;)

Crumble Froo

testing_times wrote: »

Ladies,
Quick one for ya.
How important is it to you that a guy has a good body.

If you meat a guy and end up going home together, everything is great but you take things to the bed room and his shirt comes off and he has a bit of a belly and some man boobs.

If this a turn off or just expected.

Your thoughts please

that is amusing me no end.

also, my fella has plenty of weight on him, and i think he looks damned sexy with his shirt off. i'd prefer a bit of belly and a bit of flab over ribbed abs or any of that. i like my cuddles.

Porkpie

Just curious, do women ever sneak a peak at a fella's crotch when he's sitting down to look for evidence of size? Come on ladies, I'm serious here - be honest! After all, we're always staring at women's boobs!

shellyboo

Porkpie wrote: »

Just curious, do women ever sneak a peak at a fella's crotch when he's sitting down to look for evidence of size? Come on ladies, I'm serious here - be honest! After all, we're always staring at women's boobs!

*puts hand up*

Guilty as charged. I'm also a demon for ogling men's arses.

citytillidie

Damn so i was right to keep my shirt on when i was away and by the pool.

Wibbs

Porkpie wrote: »

Just curious, do women ever sneak a peak at a fella's crotch when he's sitting down to look for evidence of size? Come on ladies, I'm serious here - be honest! After all, we're always staring at women's boobs!

Saw a programme years ago which had these special glasses which followed where people's eyes were looking in a room full of people and contrary to popular belief women were worse than men. Crotch arse, shoulders and face were the biggies for them. They also lingered for longer looking at taller men or men they were told previously were "important/VIP" types. Men went for the usual, breasts and arse and face but looked at the whole body first and then tended to stay on faces with the odd look south. Crotch got the most looks from women, even though many swore blind they didn't look(and they looked for longer at guys they flirted with). Women in general seemed to be less aware of what they were looking at than men. They're better at hiding it too. Both men and women's eyes wandered when more attractive men or women passed by, even if they were flirting with someone.

I reckon that while physical bodies are important to both genders, social power and attractiveness is more important to women than men. So ugly rich guy gets more women than good looking poor guy. Popular guy gets more than shy guy. You could probably(in general terms anyway) judge a guys overall social standing by the attractiveness of his partner.

testing_times

Good post WIibbs - I watched a similar program a while back - interesting stuff.

Reku

Wibbs wrote: »

Saw a programme years ago which had these special glasses which followed where people's eyes were looking in a room full of people and contrary to popular belief women were worse than men. Crotch arse, shoulders and face were the biggies for them. They also lingered for longer looking at taller men or men they were told previously were "important/VIP" types. Men went for the usual, breasts and arse and face but looked at the whole body first and then tended to stay on faces with the odd look south. Crotch got the most looks from women, even though many swore blind they didn't look(and they looked for longer at guys they flirted with). Women in general seemed to be less aware of what they were looking at than men.

lol, reminds me of one of my classes, the lecturer brought in a video of a lab test he did where he was tracking where the person was looking on the TV screen for evaluating where to place advertisements and such; in it a woman came on with the camera zoomed in to just show her upper body, the eyes kept glancing at the face and then lingering on the breasts which had the class in fits of laughter about how awful we lads are - turned out this was the test footage from a woman watching the TV.:eek:

Wibbs

farohar wrote: »

turned out this was the test footage from a woman watching the TV.:eek:

Actually that's the bit I forgot about that programme!:D Apparently women looked at other women the way men did. Presumably as a comparison thing. They also escalated that if a better looking woman was talking to the same man they were. IMHO women are far more socially and bodily competitive than men anyway. Well it's more fluid I suppose. Men are competitive but the ranking gets established pretty quickly depending on context. It is fascinating stuff.

Macha

Great post Wibbs. Studies have shown that both men and women put physical attractiveness first. I'll have to check what they said about social status..

I keep fit, try to eat healthily and so I'm attracted to a person who shares the same values as me. I don't want someone who's always going to be ordering pizza or takeaway and trying to convince me not to go to the gym & watch TV instead. So in that way, I am more attracted to sporty types - and got me a triathlete

Star Lord

Wibbs wrote: »

You could probably(in general terms anyway) judge a guys overall social standing by the attractiveness of his partner.

I must be doing quite well then

Elle Victorine

It's probably as big an issue for women as it is for men to be honest. I don't mind a little bit of a sag n the belly. We're none of us perfect there but man boobs would be a bit of a no for me.

cormie

We are naturally attracted to healthier looking potential partners because for a woman, it means the man will be able to do better hunting and gathering and for a man, it means a woman will be more likely to give birth and rare a healthier baby. Weight obviously has a big part to play in health/fitness so besides the aesthetic appeal, it goes a bit deeper than that too.

Climate Expert

cormie wrote: »

We are naturally attracted to healthier looking potential partners because for a woman, it means the man will be able to do better hunting and gathering and for a man, it means a woman will be more likely to give birth and rare a healthier baby. Weight obviously has a big part to play in health/fitness so besides the aesthetic appeal, it goes a bit deeper than that too.

This is complicated. What merits attractiveness can change far quicker than evolution can account for.

In some societies a fat man is considered more attractive as it means he was the status and wealth to feed himself. Complexion is a similar issue with some cultures considering darker skin unattractive as its related to farmers and the poor.

Climate Expert

Climate Expert wrote: »

I won't tolerate it.

You go girl!

Climate Expert wrote: »

Stop dragging this off topic. I'd expect more from a mod.

Mods are just people, he doesn't mod this forum so he's just like every other poster here: entitled to his opinion and doesn't have any responsibility to "set an example".

But then again he's probably just compensating because his initial shock has now turned to lust.......:pac::rolleyes:



I never found getting girls to come down to what kind of shape I'm in. Girls have lifted my t-shirt for a look or put their hand up to feel around or whatever but I never felt that the result of such analysis was make or break. And I'd be predominantly rocking the gut around 90% of the time! :pac: In fact that normally happens after the deal is sealed. It really is mostly down to personality.