Just want to take the first step

MBEC

Hi
This is my first post.
I've been reading the different messages over the last while and its great to hear how other people have dealt with situations.
I'm in my 20s and I have been confused about my sexuality for a number of years. Looking back I realise that I had what I can now see as crushes on guys when I was in late primary school. Then in secondary school I had 2 major crushes on girls. It may sound chessy but they practicality walked in slow motion in my eyes. I didn't realise at the time they were crushes and I talked about guys to fit in. I went through a stage only being interested in girls so I decided I must be a lesbian. Then I went to college and met a guy, so I realised I must be bi. I'm having difficulties coming to terms with it as I always thought it needed to be one or the other. you were either straight or gay but how do you deal with being bi. I didn't tell anyone as I felt I would be seen as a girl seeking attention to get more guys into her. I have had 2 long term relationships with guys but it was always at the back of my mind that I wanted to meet a girl as to be honest even though my last relationship was good I am way more attracted to women. Before my last relationship I almost got to the point of meeting someone that I met online but it never happened. I have been with one girl years ago, no one knew about it and to be honest it was experimentation for her and a physical thing rather than a relationship. I suppose I'm writing this post just so that I've taken the first step. I feel like all this stuff goes round and round in my head and I need to get it out there. To my knowledge I don't know any bi, or lesbian so I feel like I have no one to talk to. If I feel like this should I tell my parents and close friends or just leave it until it becomes an issue if I do meet a girl.

swiss

First of all, welcome to boards.

Your story isn't uncommon. For some people, sexuality can be fluid. I don't mean that they alternate between gay and straight depending on the day of the week, but that there can be a process by which they can slowly become attracted to, or lose interest in, another sex. During adolescence you have the additional problem of jumped up hormones that can make things even more confusing!

However, you don't need to be one or the other. I've known people who would say you should pick a side and play on it, but why should you limit your possibilities of being happy with someone just to fit into a particular niche that other people define for you?

Dwn Wth Vwls

Congratulations on taking the first step. I had a similar experience to you in that I thought I had to choose and I didn't know of anyone "real" who was bi. I'd recommend getting to know some more lgbt people that you can talk to, and sorting everything out for yourself before moving forward. Depending on who you tell, they might try and convince you that you're wrong and that could just confuse you further.

superboy

I'm bi and in my 20's too. Don't worry, just be happy!!! I've only come to the realisation that i'm bi very recently too. not on the scene, not really "out" and single. just trying to get on with being happy in myself, for the moment anyhow. There are others like us!!


PS: SCREW LABELS!!!!!

MBEC

Thanks a million, nice to know I'm not alone.

illusion

oh you're definitely not alone.
was reading your post and thinking, hey, me too.
pretty much the same story...