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Wednesday Quickies

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  • 12-11-2008 1:39am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    BEER COMPETITION

    It was the finals of beer drinking competition between a German and a Chinese man and 10 bottles of beer were placed in front of each person.

    The bottles were opened and the referee told them to start drinking.

    When German finished his first bottle he took a deep breath.

    When the Chinese finished the first bottle he went to the bathroom and came back.

    When German finished his second bottle he took another deep breath.

    When the Chinese finished the second bottle he went again to the bathroom and he came back.

    The trend continued until the German finished the 10th bottle and decided to go to the bathroom.

    In there, he saw 9 Chinese:D lying down drunk on the floor.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I was in a Boeing 747 plane that took off from South Africa’s Johannesburg international airport en-route New York.

    Also on board this plane were a black South African man and his little kid.

    After about 4 hours into the journey, the pilot announced that the plane was over-loaded and losing height and there was the need to reduce the weight.

    So, all the bags and baggage were off loaded.

    After another 30 minutes, when the situation didn’t improve, the pilot announced that some people needed to be thrown out of the plane but this will be done in alphabetical order.

    Hence he started thus:

    “A Africans on board?” No response.

    “B Blacks on board?” No response.

    “C Coloured people on board?” No response.

    “D Dark skin people on board?” No response.

    Suddenly, the South African kid asked his father,

    “Dad, aren’t we any of those”

    The father replied,

    “Shut up son, we are Zulus today.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    John is a pathological and committed bachelor who has been going around impersonating an Air Force officer with the American Air Force.

    He has been trying hard to woo a lady by bragging that he has flown aircrafts to so many important cities in the world.

    He said he has been to London, Paris, Tokyo, Amsterdam, New York, Chicago, Berlin, Los Angeles, Riyadh, Toronto, Lagos etc.

    The Lady was very impressed and she said to John

    “Having flown to those cities, you must know Geography very well”.

    John quickly responded,

    “Geography? Yeah,

    I was there two weeks ago.”


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