Girls doing the asking?

panda100

I've asked out every guy I've ever been out with bar one. I dont think I'd ever be asked out If I waited for a guy to do the asking.

However,I absolutely hate asking people out as nothing is worse than the fear of rejection!

CDfm

panda100 wrote: »

I've asked out every guy I've ever been out with bar one. I dont think I'd ever be asked out If I waited for a guy to do the asking.

However,I absolutely hate asking people out as nothing is worse than the fear of rejection!

everyone hates it

CDfm

Carturo wrote: »

Eh..what?

Well some girls are quite prima donnaish and expect the guys to do all the running.

So if a girl does ask you out it should be cos they are genuinely interested. My friends and me were in Starbucks and they decided to have some fun at her expense. A girl who leads guys on - treats herself lavishly with your money and goes.

Cathkins

I've once asked a guy out years ago but didn't work out - from then on I just wait for the guy to do the asking or as in my current situation it was more a joint effort!

There's nothing wrong with the girl asking - shows that she has alot of confidence which is an awesome trait imo!

Nevyn

The thing is just because a guy has actually been the one to propose a date that doesn't mean the girl has not taken part in the process.

A girl can make a lot of eye contact, smile, put her self in close proximity to the guy or repeat close proximity or if she sees he is interested makes a break away form the group she is with so she is easier to approach, or makes a point of passing close to him and smiling or even turning up in the same place to give him an opening then she is part of the process.

It's not seen as direct action but all of the above are actions none the less to give a person an opening to approach her and start a converstaion so that he may ask her out or get her number.

Bottle_of_Smoke

enda1 wrote: »

Its just nature women are the carers, see behaviour of other animals. It's not within the scope of "equality". Sure some women will but for the majority it's never going to change.

Therefore stay home have babies and cook.

Fast foreward to the 21st centuary - grow up!

You didn't understand my post and jumped to the wrong conclusion, then added a straw man, and patronised me. I'd hate to be as stupid as you. There's plenty of animals where the father is a carer. Capper.

Rozabeez

If you like what you see, why not go ahead and let the person know? If you want to see them again, why not initiate that too?

Proposing a date isn't that big a deal, better than waiting around/missing opportunities imo.

g'em

That's totally out of order Bottle of Smoke. Come back to us in a week when you've calmed down.

diane747

sometimes you can have good eye contact, but the bloak is very shy. I think it is ok to introduce yourself and see what the conversation is like.
Aint no shame in it! you win some you lose some...

Faddymackshyte

After reading this thread, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out (not this instant mind)! He suggested we meet for drinks midweek sometime, but I'm sick (which he knows about), so maybe next week!! And I will surely report back here to say whether or not it was a success!

Climate Expert

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

After reading this thread, I'm gonna take the bull by the horn and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out (not this instant mind)!

Go for it, you'll make his day.

CDfm

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out (not this instant mind)! He suggested we meet for drinks midweek sometime, but I'm sick (which he knows about), !

You've got the MANFLU

homerun_homer

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

After reading this thread, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out

Excellent, the thread is working:D

Faddymackshyte

Well hopefully it works....otherwise I can definitely see myself crawling into a corner and never resurfacing!
Ah no, I've known him for a good few years and there's absolutely no harm in suggesting a nice civilised date!

AFC_1903

Casey ca wrote: »

I once told a random stranger that he was the hottest guy that i had ever seen. He thanked me, kissed me on the cheek and then his girlfriend (a 6ft blonde) came back. Never had the courage since then!

Get the courage! Life is too short, and it's not as if he was an a$$hole about it.

Personally I'm kinda nervous about asking out girls, the fear of rejection thing, but when I feel confident about my chances (or a wee bit drunk!) i've no problems with it. I do really like being asked out/randomly molested by hot ladies though!

Piste

No, because I'm suspicious of strangers unless I have a good reason to be talking to them or I'm in a group.


Oh and I'd never agree to go on a date with someone I'd never met before and just came up and asked me out in a pub/club.

Reku

g'em wrote: »

Wow. That makes me feel so... shit frankly

Well look at it this way; all the lads who were that attracted to you were probably kept waiting because you were dating these guys who you had asked out.;)

Thaedydal wrote: »

The thing is just because a guy has actually been the one to propose a date that doesn't mean the girl has not taken part in the process.

A girl can make a lot of eye contact, smile, put her self in close proximity to the guy or repeat close proximity or if she sees he is interested makes a break away form the group she is with so she is easier to approach, or makes a point of passing close to him and smiling or even turning up in the same place to give him an opening then she is part of the process.

It's not seen as direct action but all of the above are actions none the less to give a person an opening to approach her and start a converstaion so that he may ask her out or get her number.

So basically they're refusing to come out and ask because their interest in the lad is so little that the fear of being rejected and it's impact on their social standing carries a heavier weight to them? Very flattering that...

diane747 wrote: »

sometimes you can have good eye contact, but the bloak is very shy.

Or thick, pre-occupied, didn't actually notice, is short sighted/cross-eyed, figured you were making eyes at the lad behind/beside him, etc..., there are many possible reasons.

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

After reading this thread, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out (not this instant mind)! He suggested we meet for drinks midweek sometime, but I'm sick (which he knows about), so maybe next week!! And I will surely report back here to say whether or not it was a success!

Good luck, hopefully it'll either go in your favour or at least help you realise there's not much to lose really by doing the asking so you can pipe up the next time a lad catches your fancy.

4zn76tysfajdxp

My crippling shyness and complete life inexperience means I hope everyday for a girl to approach me instead of forcing me to develop working testicles and do it myself. That's why it's almost a comfort when I hear women saying stuff like "I would never ask a man out" or the likes, so then it's easier for the likes of me to think "Ohhhh! So THAT'S why I'm alone and stuff. It's all so clear now!" I'm only after realising this. Hmmmm....I better do some serious thinking.

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

After reading this thread, I'm gonna take the bull by the horns and ask the guy I kissed on Saturday out (not this instant mind)! He suggested we meet for drinks midweek sometime, but I'm sick (which he knows about), so maybe next week!! And I will surely report back here to say whether or not it was a success!

You should, life's too short. I know this becuase I observe others living it keenly and they seem to be having a wonderful time.

CDfm

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

Well hopefully it works....otherwise I can definitely see myself crawling into a corner and never resurfacing!
Ah no, I've known him for a good few years and there's absolutely no harm in suggesting a nice civilised date!

I got asked out - its really nice and is going well

Nevyn

farohar wrote: »

So basically they're refusing to come out and ask because their interest in the lad is so little that the fear of being rejected and it's impact on their social standing carries a heavier weight to them? Very flattering that...

Most people are sheep and do not want to be the different one or the weird one, the forward one, the one who 'acts' like a bloke...

farohar wrote: »

Or thick, pre-occupied, didn't actually notice, is short sighted/cross-eyed, figured you were making eyes at the lad behind/beside him, etc..., there are many possible reasons.

yup that happens a lot to blokes, I found being up front and honest either works or doesn't and you know where you stand fairly quickly.

farohar wrote: »

Good luck, hopefully it'll either go in your favour or at least help you realise there's not much to lose really by doing the asking so you can pipe up the next time a lad catches your fancy.

Loosing face is a bigger deal to most people then they would ever admit.

Handsome Bob

A woman asked me out once and it was a great feeling as I had lost my confidence after two bad experiences of asking girls out.:pac:

brianthebard

Louis Numerous Earphone wrote: »

My crippling shyness and complete life inexperience means I hope everyday for a girl to approach me instead of forcing me to develop working testicles and do it myself.

Dude do yourself a favour, take a deep breath, exhale and let those boys drop. It'll feel much more comfortable. /end of male pep talk intruding on lady matters.

Censorsh!t

i'd be way to scared to ask a guy out. Mad fear of rejection and all that

Stheno

Faddymackshyte wrote: »

Well hopefully it works....otherwise I can definitely see myself crawling into a corner and never resurfacing!
Ah no, I've known him for a good few years and there's absolutely no harm in suggesting a nice civilised date!

Best of luck, honestly the worst he can do is say no best case scenario you go out, have a great time, etc etc

Censorsh!t wrote: »

i'd be way to scared to ask a guy out. Mad fear of rejection and all that

Hey try it just once even Worst case scenario? He'll say no and you'll know how every guy who has ever asked you out feels, butterflies in tummy, fear of rejection and all.

If he says yes, you'll feel great, and he'll appreciate it most likely

coillcam

The last 3 girls I was with all were the ones that made the initial approach. I am by no means some prolific lothario at all, far from it in fact. I really appreciate when a girl is straightforward with me, be it rejection or whatever. I hate mind games and playing by the "rules". My standard position on women is that unless I am really into them I won't bother trying anything. I am not trying to court controversy but I find most women disinteresting in romantic terms to say the least, my fussiness is beyond notoriety. I am not out for the perfect girl it's just my quirk.

Funniest thing with me lately is I was out on Tuesday and ended up being seduced by a 28 yo 5'11" girl who has done some modeling. Now this had me lolling pretty fecking hard for the next 2 days as I'm a 9.5 stone 5'7" 22 year old lad of jockey like physique and by no means the next Jared Leto. Now we didn't go too mad in the end as my affections lay elsewhere (honest to god truth) and she ceased to go out with my cousin as of the previous week so it was probably not the best scenario to start with. Needless to say there was beer involved

homerun_homer

coillcam wrote: »

I'm by no means the next Jared Leto.

Jared Leto isn't even the next Jared Leto. Should have gone for the safety in Brad Pitt, the EMO thing is just too... spazzy:D

redfacedbear

Thaedydal wrote: »

The thing is just because a guy has actually been the one to propose a date that doesn't mean the girl has not taken part in the process.

A girl can make a lot of eye contact, smile, put her self in close proximity to the guy or repeat close proximity or if she sees he is interested makes a break away form the group she is with so she is easier to approach, or makes a point of passing close to him and smiling or even turning up in the same place to give him an opening then she is part of the process.

It's not seen as direct action but all of the above are actions none the less to give a person an opening to approach her and start a converstaion so that he may ask her out or get her number.

I agree. A decade or so ago I dated 'The Hottest Girl in the Office' for a while. The dalliance began when I came into work one day and found the only free cubicle was next to her. I made sure to use the time between calls to get talking to her and I felt like King of the Hill when I a few days later my (very subtle) seduction techniques actually yeilded results.:pac:

However I found out a couple of months later that she had already taken a shine to me and had engineered the whole office so that the only free seat was next to her!

She didn't do the asking but chances are it wouldn't have happened without her as I was a gutless wonder back then.

coillcam

homerun_homer wrote: »

Jared Leto isn't even the next Jared Leto. Should have gone for the safety in Brad Pitt, the EMO thing is just too... spazzy:D

Ah it's just a mate of mine was gushing about him there a few weeks back so I thought he must be flavour of the month.

homerun_homer

coillcam wrote: »

Ah it's just a mate of mine was gushing about him there a few weeks back so I thought he must be flavour of the month.

Could very well be, I don't tend to fancy blokes now myself but like to hope that he's fallen out of favour with women for his useless EMO crap and look. I couldn't go out with a girl who loved him, haha

Moonbaby

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

I heard your soulmate say the same thing, that's why you're both alone! :pac:


Why wouldn't a girl go after a guy she likes? This is 2008! LIVE A LITTLE!

whatsamsn

Just thought i'd create a thead about this. I'm a shy guy and keep hearing the same old thing "does you no favors in life to be shy in life" especially when it comes to women.

So the question I have is on a night out do the majority of women wait/want a guy to make he first move? break the ice, etc.

Since this is the ladies lounge what better place to ask :P

Black Swan

whatsamsn wrote: »

So the question I have is on a night out do the majority of women wait/want a guy to make he first move? break the ice, etc.

Depends on what you mean by making the first move? Who first looks with that LOOK, or smiles that SMILE, that says you're interested in a subtle way. If they return the signal, then someone has to make the next move. If this occurs in a pub or club, forget me doing it! No way! Not in that kind of scene, known to be pickup joints. Could send the wrong message... I'm definitely not into one-night stands!

But if in a coffee house or classroom or someplace without the meat market reputation, then sure, I might chat some lad up making the first move. Of course, in those settings I can talk about anything, without commitment or risk, and if I like the lad and they like me, then things might progress from there. A lad can do the same...

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I heard your soulmate say the same thing, that's why you're both alone! :pac:


Why wouldn't a girl go after a guy she likes? This is 2008! LIVE A LITTLE!

I'm not attracted to people who don't have the balls to put themselves out there.
I can't imagine anything worse than living your life with a coward.
Looking for the guy to make a move is a basic sorting process for me....It has nothing to do with a fear of rejection on my part.

I've been a ginger kid.....I'm rejection proofed at this stage.

Pherekydes

Moonbaby wrote: »

I can't imagine anything worse than living your life with a coward.

I don't think someone who is shy is a coward.

Not automatically a coward.
But if you use your shyness as an excuse to hold you back then that is cowardly behavior.

I'm quite a shy person myself. So there is no hate on my part.

CDfm

shyness if you fancy someone is allowed - so it takes guts to ask them out.

Pherekydes

Moonbaby wrote: »

But if you use your shyness as an excuse to hold you back then that is cowardly behavior.

I disagree. By your definition, about half the population are cowards because they wait for the other half to do the asking.

Pherekydes

Pherekydes wrote: »

I disagree. By your definition, about half the population are cowards because they wait for the other half to do the asking.

No that would depend on how much they want to ask the question, and the reason why they aren't asking it.

Did your missus ask you out? You are the couple who met when your partners had an affair right?

CDfm

Moonbaby wrote: »

No that would depend on how much they want to ask the question, and the reason why they aren't asking it.

Did your missus ask you out? You are the couple who met when your partners had an affair right?

moonbaby - nothing shy about you from that post

Pherekydes

Moonbaby wrote: »

No that would depend on how much they want to ask the question, and the reason why they aren't asking it.

Agreed. Then there should be no significant difference in who's doing the asking, gender wise.

Moonbaby wrote: »

Did your missus ask you out? You are the couple
who met when your partners had an affair right?

And this has to do with what, exactly?

Pherekydes

Pherekydes wrote: »

Agreed. Then there should be no significant difference in who's doing the asking, gender wise.



And this has to do with what, exactly?

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

I was asking because I was wondering what your personal interest in the topic is?
If your the poster I think you are, then you met your partner in a situation where it was better that she did the asking.

Pherekydes

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

If so, why are you inferring that shy guys have no balls or are cowards?

Moonbaby wrote: »

If your the poster I think you are, then you met your partner in a situation where it was better that she did the asking.

I'm completely baffled now.

Dublin_Andy

happened to me on the luas and bus before. quite awkward, but yet u feel wel chuffed.. because its somethin ur not expecting, especially on public transport. if u dont go for it, you ll regret it i suppose. all u can do is try... it works both ways. women askin men and vice versa... it shouldnt be one way as it mostly is...

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

I'm naturally shy, I do my best to face up to that feeling in situations where it pops up.
If I walked away because of it, I would consider that an act of cowardice on my part.
Because I was letting fear dictate my actions. Isn't that what makes a coward?

Dublin_Andy

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

agreed... plus alot of women like to play hard to get..thats why its left up to the man to do the chasing

Reku

I've done the asking & I've been asked, the only time it was ever a problem either way was one time where the girl was afraid I wouldn't be willing to still be friends with her when she turned me down.:(

Nevyn

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

farohar

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

Believing that gender roles affect mating rituals is sexism now?
Good thing I didn't say as much so.
I'd have to start helping put the bin out as penance.

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

Believing that gender roles affect mating rituals is sexism now?
Good thing I didn't say as much so.

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

You know girls with testicles?:eek: