Girls doing the asking?

Pherekydes

Pherekydes wrote: »

Agreed. Then there should be no significant difference in who's doing the asking, gender wise.



And this has to do with what, exactly?

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

I was asking because I was wondering what your personal interest in the topic is?
If your the poster I think you are, then you met your partner in a situation where it was better that she did the asking.

Pherekydes

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

If so, why are you inferring that shy guys have no balls or are cowards?

Moonbaby wrote: »

If your the poster I think you are, then you met your partner in a situation where it was better that she did the asking.

I'm completely baffled now.

Dublin_Andy

happened to me on the luas and bus before. quite awkward, but yet u feel wel chuffed.. because its somethin ur not expecting, especially on public transport. if u dont go for it, you ll regret it i suppose. all u can do is try... it works both ways. women askin men and vice versa... it shouldnt be one way as it mostly is...

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'll agree no such thing, in my gender war I want to be the hunted....the rest of ye can do your own thing.

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

I'm naturally shy, I do my best to face up to that feeling in situations where it pops up.
If I walked away because of it, I would consider that an act of cowardice on my part.
Because I was letting fear dictate my actions. Isn't that what makes a coward?

Dublin_Andy

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

agreed... plus alot of women like to play hard to get..thats why its left up to the man to do the chasing

Reku

I've done the asking & I've been asked, the only time it was ever a problem either way was one time where the girl was afraid I wouldn't be willing to still be friends with her when she turned me down.:(

Nevyn

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

farohar

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

Believing that gender roles affect mating rituals is sexism now?
Good thing I didn't say as much so.
I'd have to start helping put the bin out as penance.

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

Believing that gender roles affect mating rituals is sexism now?
Good thing I didn't say as much so.

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

You know girls with testicles?:eek:

LightningBolt

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

Moonbay you feckin sexist ya:rolleyes:

CDfm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm naturally shy, I do my best to face up to that feeling in situations where it pops up.
If I walked away because of it, I would consider that an act of cowardice on my part.
Because I was letting fear dictate my actions. Isn't that what makes a coward?

im very intrigued.

all this talk of gender wars and manhunts seems very aggressive and combative.Yet you say you are shy.

so if you read back what you posted would you ask you out? Or( put yourself in the situaion of a guy) would you agree to a date with you if you asked?

The other thing is - if you invited a guy out say to dinner would you pay?

IF you were to ask a guy out what would you do or invite him too. Surely - you have put more thought into it rather than hypothetical emotions of how you might feel -how would you go about it and why should your date say yes?

Maybe this is unfair but you seem to be coming up with loads of stereotype reasons not to ask. surely someone like you would want to be more in control of who they date andnot leave it all to chance.

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

If I end up with that look on my face...so best!

Reku

Moonbaby wrote: »

If I end up with that look on my face...so best!

I don't know... that dino looks pretty happy too... have to wonder if there were "special" fumes in the air when that picture was taken, or maybe they'd all just been snacking on some dodgy local flora.:p

Dublin_Andy

Thaedydal wrote: »

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

If only it was that easy...:D

Dec McC

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm a big sexist bird

Tut, tut.

Acacia

I wouldn't have a problem asking a guy out. The worst he can say is 'no', and if he is particularly rude about it, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Same goes for when guys ask girls out.

I'm old-fashioned though- I would like to be proposed to, rather than do the proposing.

St Bill

Asking a man out/initiating contact with a man is all well and good and great for equality yada, yada, yada....but from my own personal experience, I think Irish men like to think that it was all their idea to ask a girl out/initiate contact. I think they get a bit scared when a girl approaches them....imagine a rabbit caught in headlights and you get the general gist. This is what I've observed anyway.
But then again maybe my beard is scaring them.....:pac:

CDfm

Acacia wrote: »

I wouldn't have a problem asking a guy out. The worst he can say is 'no', and if he is particularly rude about it, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Same goes for when guys ask girls out.

I'm old-fashioned though- I would like to be proposed to, rather than do the proposing.

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Acacia

CDfm wrote: »

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Should be split 50/ 50, in my opinion.

JaneyMc

I have done this a few times, but after the last guy I did it with I said I wouldn't be doing it again.

The first few times it worked out okay, but with the last dude, I did the chasing which made me feel like I had lost any kind of power I had in the situation. It only lasted a month or two, swore I'd never do it again.

CDfm

CDfm wrote: »

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Hell no! People pay for themselves on dates. Unless it is something small like a drink or a cinema ticket, where the favour can be returned without fuss.

CDfm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Hell no! People pay for themselves on dates. Unless it is something small like a drink or a cinema ticket, where the favour can be returned without fuss.

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

Reku

Have to say I've known a few girls who would be rather insistant on either paying their way at the time or paying you back later, so while some girls may be like that CDfm, there are many others who are not.

JaneyMc

CDfm wrote: »

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

It looks like you are suggesting that every female does this?
Some do, some don't.
I don't, and Moonbaby is saying she doesn't either, as well as lot of other females on this forum.
Either way, sweeping generalisation.

CDfm

JaneyMc wrote: »

It looks like you are suggesting that every female does this?
Some do, some don't.
I don't, and Moonbaby is saying she doesn't either, as well as lot of other females on this forum.
Either way, sweeping generalisation.

I am not - but I do love making sweeping generalisations:D

But it is really nice to get invited out and be treated.

Dublin_Andy

JaneyMc wrote: »

I have done this a few times, but after the last guy I did it with I said I wouldn't be doing it again.

The first few times it worked out okay, but with the last dude, I did the chasing which made me feel like I had lost any kind of power I had in the situation. It only lasted a month or two, swore I'd never do it again.

now u kno how fellas feel, yet we mostly keep making the first move all the time. alot of women here like to play hard to get for some reason. maybe its fun i dont kno. but as i said before this has been goin on for years and years. nothin wil ever change it...

Acacia

CDfm wrote: »

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

:rolleyes:

Yeah, that was one woman's opinion. Not all women are like that.

MIN2511

I have asked two guys out
1st guy: had/has a gf-I didn't know
2nd guy: He told me he's too old for me.


Since then, i let the guys do the asking... Old fashioned maybe but i don't like rejection(no one does) and i think most guys would think i am "gagging" for it if i asked them which isn't 'always' the case

CDfm

CDfm wrote: »

But it is really nice to get invited out and be treated.

Not necessarily, It would make me very uncomfortable on a date. My attention doesn't have a cost in euro.
Most Irish women feel the same way, from my observations.