Need Some Advice...Ladies and Moms...!!Please?!

Help_me_21

Ok...I fell into a bad state of affairs after I cheated on my girlfriend of over a year in july. I started working long hours with a company in town and we started growing apart. After a few months i met a girl at work and it was through spending so much time with her that we came to kiss. I cheated and made a mistake and I was wrong. It went on for about 2-3 weeks and my girlfriend found out and dumped me and rightly so. I lost the girl id travelled half way across the world to be with at one stage. I was told not to contact her ever again by her mother and I didnt. I tried to fill a hole in my life with someone else but im just lying to myself. I cant get my Ex out of my head and think about her all the time. Ive been blamed for stuff that wasnt true but mud sticks. Plain and simple....I cheated,i lied and I was wrong and I know that now.I know now that i'll never again find someone like her and that she was everything i have ever dreamed of and more. She will never be out of my head for good. She's done what she could to get back at me and moved on it seems.

Ladies,i know if this was your daughter id be told go to hell but I am a sorry boy who knows now what he has given up.We got on better than anyone ive ever seen together. Is there any way of going about telling her or is there any point knowing that everyone she knows will tell her not to give me a chance. Friends told me at the start if i had asked she wouldve taken me back but I didnt cause I was a foolish boy. All I want her to know is that i am really and truly sorry and that i would do anything to take back but I know she wont believe me. Any advice?

Wibbs

let her go. Seriously. She likely knows you're sorry, but the wound is raw now. You have broken her trust. Building trust is hard in the first place, but rebuilding trust is another level of hard work entirely. Back off.

Pushing her now, will push her away. What it tells her is that you're still thinking of you and your needs. "But I love you(your feelings) so why don't you come back(rejecting her feelings)". It sounds and is selfish and she will see that and reject you more. If you do have to say anything to her, agree with her. Tell her she's right to leave you. You broke her trust and heart and it is best that she lets you go. Wish her well in finding that.

If you're lucky she'll come back, but don't count on it.

SpookyDoll

Aw, its a bitter pill mate but what can you do but learn from this and move on.

Its sad for both of ye, but I think any effort to win her back at present will probably only make things worse.

Look, you did wrong and you know that so after a while forgive yourself and when you do meet someone else (down the line) at least you will know never to make that mistake again....

Anyway, hard lesson but life must go on...

MagicMarker

Tough shít tbh.

Trinity

Some people believe in 2nd chances, others dont.

Have you ever gotten a chance to apologize to her seeing as you did as her mother asked and never contacted her again?

I know this would kill me personally if someone i cared about fcuked me over and didnt even bother to see if i was ok or make some effort to make amends or seek forgiveness i would assume they didnt give a ****e.

I made my mother stand up for me recently, sad i know, but you know you hurt her daughter and didnt get to see the devastation you caused.

In saying that its not up to the mother whether your ex forgives you although it is highly unlikely you will ever be accepted back into the family.

I'd be inclined to write a letter apologising, explaining how you feel but having no expectations.

When it comes to cheating i dont do 2nd chances and tbh if i was your ex and you were feeling that way i would think good, its not half the pain he put me through and i would smile at your pain.

Sorry if harsh but true.

If you dont get a reply learn your lesson and never do it again.

480905

Her Mother told you never to contact her again??????? Is she not able to fight her own battles without getting mammy to tell the bold boy off????? count your blessings man cos if thats her form then NOTHING will be private in a relationship with her. Mammy will always be most powerful.... Question...what age was this girl?

Hi its Me

Help_me_21 wrote: »

Ok...I fell into a bad state of affairs after I cheated on my girlfriend of over a year in july. I started working long hours with a company in town and we started growing apart. After a few months i met a girl at work and it was through spending so much time with her that we came to kiss. I cheated and made a mistake and I was wrong. It went on for about 2-3 weeks and my girlfriend found out and dumped me and rightly so. I lost the girl id travelled half way across the world to be with at one stage. I was told not to contact her ever again by her mother and I didnt. I tried to fill a hole in my life with someone else but im just lying to myself. I cant get my Ex out of my head and think about her all the time. Ive been blamed for stuff that wasnt true but mud sticks. Plain and simple....I cheated,i lied and I was wrong and I know that now.I know now that i'll never again find someone like her and that she was everything i have ever dreamed of and more. She will never be out of my head for good. She's done what she could to get back at me and moved on it seems.

Ladies,i know if this was your daughter id be told go to hell but I am a sorry boy who knows now what he has given up.We got on better than anyone ive ever seen together. Is there any way of going about telling her or is there any point knowing that everyone she knows will tell her not to give me a chance. Friends told me at the start if i had asked she wouldve taken me back but I didnt cause I was a foolish boy. All I want her to know is that i am really and truly sorry and that i would do anything to take back but I know she wont believe me. Any advice?

OK, if it were me I wouldn't take you back but I am the unforgiving type.
But, why don't you try writing a letter and tell her what you have put here, don't pressure her but tell her that you will wait. This may work but only if you do wait. Don't wait too long though, you are young. How do you know that there isn't someone else out there waiting to be discovered. Take care, good luck

Zillah

Write her a letter. Not an email or a text or a drunken phonecall. Get a pen and some paper and tell her exactly how you feel. Explain why you think you did what you did, how sorry you are and how bad you feel about it. Tell her that it was stupidity and immaturity that caused it, that you never wished her harm. Don't ask her to take you back, don't beg and don't for a second act like anything that happened was her fault. Just be honest and humble and wish her well. Send it to her and forget about her.

If you're very very lucky she might, with time, learn to forgive you, maybe make contact. Probably not, but at least you might feel better about it afterwards and maybe it'll help her get over any bitterness or anger she has.

LegacyUser

Well the way I see it, once a cheat always a cheat. My friend gave her boyfriend a second chance and he cheated again, she is well rid of him now.

Leave her alone to get on with her life you have fkd up basically, so tough ****!

Dizzyblonde

If you really really have learnt a lesson and can honestly say that it will never happen again, then you have to write to her or talk to he once more just to see if there's any chance for you to get back together. If she says no then you'll have to move on having learnt a very hard lesson.
On the other hand, if she's willing to give you another chance then it's nobody else's business and it won't matter what anyone else says (and I speak as a mother).

LegacyUser

They say true forgiveness comes from true understanding.

Maybe if you are honest with yourself as to why it happened, then write her an old fashioned letter, she might begin to understand why you did what you did and then maybe she might be able to forgive.

Chinafoot

480905 wrote: »

Her Mother told you never to contact her again??????? Is she not able to fight her own battles without getting mammy to tell the bold boy off????? count your blessings man cos if thats her form then NOTHING will be private in a relationship with her. Mammy will always be most powerful.... Question...what age was this girl?

Oh give me a break. The girl finds out her boyfriend of over a year was fúcking around on her, why wouldn't she tell her mother? Herself and her mam could be very close and very good friends. I know I'd talk to my mam if it happened to me, and I know that I would tell her that I don't want to see the prick that did it to me....and chances are, being the caring mam that she is, she'd tell that prick to take a hike.

Its hardly any betrayal of trust or a lack of privacy. If they did get back together, yeah her mother probably wouldn't be too happy about it, but liek another poster pointed out...her mam was the one that had to see how devastated her little girl was by this guy's actions.

OP: I'd agree with Wibbs and say leave her alone. You didn't just make one mistake but you carried out an affair for a number of weeks. That's so unacceptable and for many it'd be totally unforgivable. Why would anything be different? Why should she trust you again?

Leave her alone to get on with her life.

She Devil

Ok here it is. I hate cheaters! HATE HATE HATE but ....
You know what, too many people give up in life, if you are truly sorry, get in there and do everything you can to get her back! That is if you are 100% honest you won't ever do anything to hurt her again.