chivalry - yes or no?

sam34

ok, just wondering what the ladies think of chivalry.
Personally, i'm a sucker for it.

well, specifically, i love it if a guy opens a door for me, or lets me through an open doorway first.

i wouldnt be so keen on someone say, standing up when i enter the room, or pull out a chair for me, but the opening doors gets me every time.

my boss does this, and i have to say that its really endearing him to me. i'm actually finding myself attracted to him,(:o) and it's purely based on the chivalry, as he's not my type at all physically.

i dont want to start a feminism/sexism/i'm perfectly capable of opening the door myself debate, i just want people's opinions

Nerin

Eh,of course!how else are we supposed to earn our place in legend!

MagicMarker

Chivalry ftw, i love it when the woman goes on top.

Nerin

When in the outside"civilised world",i hold doors open for whoevers behind me,it isn't always to do with gender. Then again,i do offer to help women when in the shop,more so than our male customers.

Nevyn

Some things are common courtesy and good manners and I have no problems with that what so ever, some of those are ones which are extended by gentlemen to a lady.

If a person is a gentlemen and wishes to treat me respectfully as a lady I will accept the gesture graciously for to do anything other then that is rude and disrespectful esp so in light of their respectful behaviour.

There are some acts of chivalry which I do not expect from friends who are male or male co workers while I will be try to be accommodating of their manners there are certain acts which would make me uncomfortable unless they were from a guy who was wooing or tempting to woo me.

cuckoo

I like guys holding open the door. And, I follow the conventional rules of manners and hold the door open for older women. Also, people with buggies, etc.

It just makes it all a little simpler if when i approach the door with someone it's unspoken that he'll hold it open - then there isn't a pile up at the door, or the delay of "no, YOU go first".

shellyboo

Love it when a guy holds a door for me, that kind of thing. I find it really endearing and it makes me feel a wee bit special... which is always nice.

Faith

Yup, I'm a big fan of it. It makes me smile when a guy waves me through a door or something like that. It doesn't even have to be my boyfriend, I think it's nice when any guy does it.

Rozabeez

I like when they open doors, or do that slightly swoopy hand thing when you're trying to get past, not a fan of them pulling out chairs.

stovelid

I usually open doors for women, or (in work) offer to lift stuff etc, even though I suspect it's kind of corny. It's just the way I was brought up. Puling out a chair or putting on a coat is way OTT though.

PrettyInPunk

Chivalry is good, opening chairs is a bit cringe

Nevyn

stovelid wrote: »

I usually open doors for women, or (in work) offer to lift stuff etc, even though I suspect it's kind of corny. It's just the way I was brought up.

See that is good manners.

stovelid wrote: »

Puling out a chair or putting on a coat is way OTT though.

And that is more 'date' behaviour.

Nerin

PrettyInPunk wrote: »

Chivalry is good, opening chairs is a bit cringe

...so slay the dragon,but leave the assembly of the couch we got at ikea to you?

sweet-rasmus

ah holding door and letting you off the bus first (downstairs vs. upstairs croud meeting at the stairs). I suppose I'm a bit embarrassed when a man in his 40s or so holds up the queue of people wishing to exit just to let little me out... but yet as mentioned, it prevents confusions; the unspoken rule that he'll let you pass first / open the door for you.

mayordenis

PrettyInPunk wrote: »

opening chairs

leave the brainwork to us

coffee_cake

It's nice ofc when guys let me go ahead, but I generally wave people through ahead of me too so I regard it as just general politeness I guess

I'd never come across the coat-helping until recently but it's very sweet No complaints there!

Still, actually expecting any nice extra stuff? Nah...

Hagar

Letting ladies go ahead first is always the thing to do, particularly while crossing a minefield or entering a building during a firefight.

Papillon87

bluewolf wrote: »

It's nice ofc when guys let me go ahead, but I generally wave people through ahead of me too so I regard it as just general politeness I guess

I'd never come across the coat-helping until recently but it's very sweet No complaints there!

Still, actually expecting any nice extra stuff? Nah...

+1

I'd let people pass me or hold the door for them pretty routinely too, just common courtesy.

Never had a guy pull a chair out for me, might make me blush a little....but everything else is lovely. Especially them wrapping you in their coat on a date. Sure, it's a cliché from the oul films, but I'm a sucker for it. So sweet makes me smile about the guy when I recall it afterwards.

Nerin

Surely most of the things you're mentioning are just goodmanners/thoughtful though. Are there extremes of chivalry?

DarkJager

I'm amazed that some women still appreciate a man holding doors for them. From the numerous experiences I had, women just look at you as if you're trying it on with them when you hold a door open. Thats why I'd rather let it smack them in the face than hold it nowadays. But this thread is interesting....

Papillon87

DarkJager wrote: »

I'm amazed that some women still appreciate a man holding doors for them. From the numerous experiences I had, women just look at you as if you're trying it on with them when you hold a door open. Thats why I'd rather let it smack them in the face than hold it nowadays. But this thread is interesting....

Haha, I'd always make a point of turning to whoever held a door for me and thanking them, male or female.

As for extremes of chivalry......hmmm. The whole getting out of the car, walking around and opening one on the other side for a woman (assuming she is not unwell etc and can do it herself) baffles me. Never had a guy do it but find it pretty strange to observe....you'd be out and halfway down the street waiting for all that.

Nerin

Papillon87 wrote: »

Haha, I'd always make a point of turning to whoever held a door for me and thanking them, male or female.

As for extremes of chivalry......hmmm. The whole getting out of the car, walking around and opening one on the other side for a woman (assuming she is not unwell etc and can do it herself) baffles me. Never had a guy do it but find it pretty strange to observe....you'd be out and halfway down the street waiting for all that.

Lollers. Agree with you on that one. Like if your driving,opening the door for her before you get in doesn't seem too mad,but getting out,running around the car is too much

Galvasean

I'll hold the door open for anyone I see coming (within reason), male or female. It's just good manners.

Nevyn

Papillon87 wrote: »

Haha, I'd always make a point of turning to whoever held a door for me and thanking them, male or female.

As for extremes of chivalry......hmmm. The whole getting out of the car, walking around and opening one on the other side for a woman (assuming she is not unwell etc and can do it herself) baffles me. Never had a guy do it but find it pretty strange to observe....you'd be out and halfway down the street waiting for all that.

That goes back to getting out of a carriage and there could be a considerable drop and you would have a rather full skirt on. So it's not about opening the door but alighting from the vehicle. In a more modern context, I have appreciated it if I am wearing very feminine clothing. Getting out of a car with any sort of a short skit and heels can be awkward as all those horrid pics of celeb show.

Having your date for the evening open the car door, stand blocking anyone's view and over you their hand to steady yourself as you get out of the car can make the difference between doing so elegantly or wobbling and putting far more on show of yourself then you intended.

Again it's context and there is usually a practical reason why.

Doctor DooM

I hold the door for anyone. I will offer to help lift anything anyone looks like they might struggle with. Which usually backfires, especially in work

If I thought someone automatically expected these things of me though, it might put me off them a little.

sam34

DarkJager wrote: »

I'm amazed that some women still appreciate a man holding doors for them. From the numerous experiences I had, women just look at you as if you're trying it on with them when you hold a door open. Thats why I'd rather let it smack them in the face than hold it nowadays. But this thread is interesting....

i always make a point of thanking the guys who do this, rather than sailing through as tho its my god given right

sam34

Galvasean wrote: »

I'll hold the door open for anyone I see coming (within reason), male or female. It's just good manners.

y'see, i used think that, and i generally do that, especially with older people. when with my boss though, at the start i used to attempt to let him go thru the open doorway first (we walk the same route in the building together at least 4 times a week so this happens a lot) as a gesture of respect, but he was standing back expecting me to go first... cue awkward banging into each other, so now i always go first.

LivingDeadGirl

I think it's lovely. Opening doors, letting me pass first, offering me the last seat on the bus or giving me their jacket/hoody when I'm cold(obviously someone I know, well...most of the time ). It's not because I want special treatment or anything, I don't expect any of these things, I just appreciate the thought for someone else(ie me :pac:) and general selflessness of the action.

pow wow

I like it when they hold open doors, offer to carry the shopping bags (even the girlie ones - ha) and my total favourite is when they walk on the side of the pavement nearest the road so I don't get splashed by cars going through puddles. Swoon!

Geranium

I don't really like chivalry, I don't feel that just because I'm female I need different treatment. However, I realise most men are just doing it to be nice, so I wouldn't give out about it. I like people who are polite in general, I often hold doors open myself for women and men.

I think you should definitely hold the door open for someone with a buggy, carrying boxes, on crutches etc, other than that it wouldn't bother me whether someone let me go first or not.

PrettyInPunk

mayordenis wrote: »

leave the brainwork to us

Ment pulling out chairs:rolleyes: