Where are all the decent guys of Dublin gone???

Alicia Angel

Wibbs wrote: »

Alicia Angel ok you may have something in common with another poster, but you'll understand this isn't a dating forum, so take it to PM/email/ Thanks

I cant pm because apparently I need to have posted 25 posts! Im a new user???!!
Im completely aware its not a dating website

Wibbs

OK but as a new user please read the charter of this forum. Including the part about not replying to mod actions in the thread. If anyone has an issue in this forum then they take it to PM or feedback(I realise you can't yet)

LegacyUser

I always find it funny (i.e. strange) how girls reach a certain age and then wonder where all the decent fellas are. This particularly happens among better looking girls. When they're in their prime (looks wise) i.e late teens/early 20's , they enjoy and reap the benefits of being the most attractive around. They never notice that when they are that age that there are girls in their late 20's and above who are "struggling" because of the increased competition. They love the attention from the smooth players when they are younger. They ignore the quieter, more reliable men of a similar age or slightly older. What happens then is that these men get picked up by the "second tier" (looks wise) of girls who aren't distracted by the player-types who are targetting the best looking girls. Hence when they great looking girl hits the age where she doesn't stand out as much as a fresh 20 year old, she doesn't get the attention from the top tier players and she starts to look around and wonders why all the nice men are taken.

They were probably beside you for years pet, only you weren't interested. You'll still have the fellas who are out chancing their arm for a ride. They will just chance their arm with the younger girls first and if that doesn't succeed they might give you a go.

You're only 25 so you're not in too bad of a position. A lot of girls refuse to recognise the way these things works until their mid-30's and by then the pickings are slim.

Sorry if I'm oversimplifying things but I'm just giving my opinion. People might conjecture that I'm bitter, but I'm not. I was one of those quiet young fellas who never got the girl and was turned down in preference to some bull****ting knob.

Now I'm older, got a good job, doing well for myself financially. The same girls who wouldn't throw me a second glance or who thought I wasn't good enough for them are now considering me as an option...... My response --- why would I give them a chance now? If I wasn't good enough for them then, I'm not going to be a fall back option now after they've spent years messing around with wasters. Why would I? There's loads of younger girls out there. Your average 20 year old beats 80% of 25-30 year olds on looks anyway. Let's be honest, things start to sag and get flabby and not too many girls exercise enough to keep things the way they used to be! Notwithstanding the fact that these younger girls aren't going to have all the emotional baggage that older one invariably have. It's my turn to be the older man impressing the younger girl just because I have a fancy car and job.

Other friends of mine who I'd consider to have been in similar situations have settled down with aforementioned "second tier looking" girls. They are nice girls and my friends are better off with them. It's just that in your case OP, if you'd made an effort with them when they were younger, you'd probably have snared yourself one of them.


OP, your problem may have been that you had it handy for many years attracting fellas and now a younger set is coming up behind you and you are no longer the top of the pile. What do you expect? You made the most of the system when you were at the top. You can't criticise it now.

Alicia Angel

Hi,
Can you please forward the message, I wrote about gardiner street, so I can place it in the Dublin thread.Id appreciate it.
Cheers

Chucky the tree

if your 25 and have been looking for a decent other half for a long time then I'd start looking closer to home as too why this hasnt worked rather then spending time wondering if they are any decent fellas left in Dublin/have they all gone to Aus.

Wibbs

Alicia Angel Sorry not my job. Post whatever you like about Dublin in the Dublin forum. Again read the charter of this forum. NO more replies on this matter on this thread or I WILL ban you for a week. I've spelled this out enough. End of.

Darragh29

Unregistered wrote: »

I always find it funny (i.e. strange) how girls reach a certain age and then wonder where all the decent fellas are. This particularly happens among better looking girls. When they're in their prime (looks wise) i.e late teens/early 20's , they enjoy and reap the benefits of being the most attractive around. They never notice that when they are that age that there are girls in their late 20's and above who are "struggling" because of the increased competition. They love the attention from the smooth players when they are younger. They ignore the quieter, more reliable men of a similar age or slightly older. What happens then is that these men get picked up by the "second tier" (looks wise) of girls who aren't distracted by the player-types who are targetting the best looking girls. Hence when they great looking girl hits the age where she doesn't stand out as much as a fresh 20 year old, she doesn't get the attention from the top tier players and she starts to look around and wonders why all the nice men are taken.

They were probably beside you for years pet, only you weren't interested. You'll still have the fellas who are out chancing their arm for a ride. They will just chance their arm with the younger girls first and if that doesn't succeed they might give you a go.

You're only 25 so you're not in too bad of a position. A lot of girls refuse to recognise the way these things works until their mid-30's and by then the pickings are slim.

Sorry if I'm oversimplifying things but I'm just giving my opinion. People might conjecture that I'm bitter, but I'm not. I was one of those quiet young fellas who never got the girl and was turned down in preference to some bull****ting knob.

Now I'm older, got a good job, doing well for myself financially. The same girls who wouldn't throw me a second glance or who thought I wasn't good enough for them are now considering me as an option...... My response --- why would I give them a chance now? If I wasn't good enough for them then, I'm not going to be a fall back option now after they've spent years messing around with wasters. Why would I? There's loads of younger girls out there. Your average 20 year old beats 80% of 25-30 year olds on looks anyway. Let's be honest, things start to sag and get flabby and not too many girls exercise enough to keep things the way they used to be! Notwithstanding the fact that these younger girls aren't going to have all the emotional baggage that older one invariably have. It's my turn to be the older man impressing the younger girl just because I have a fancy car and job.

Other friends of mine who I'd consider to have been in similar situations have settled down with aforementioned "second tier looking" girls. They are nice girls and my friends are better off with them. It's just that in your case OP, if you'd made an effort with them when they were younger, you'd probably have snared yourself one of them.

OP, your problem may have been that you had it handy for many years attracting fellas and now a younger set is coming up behind you and you are no longer the top of the pile. What do you expect? You made the most of the system when you were at the top. You can't criticise it now.

Mother of absolute Jasus, This is cutting off your nose to spite your face if there ever was a case of it. Life thankfully isn't the absolute pit of conspiracies that you have suggested above. I was quiet and a bit shy when I was young, it didn't once stop me finding good looking sound girls.

Darragh29

Also, you are basically saying that you are now in your late 20's or early 30's and you are turning your nose up at girls your own age and are running around with girls in their early 20's. Any of my mates who are in their early 30's, who started hooking up with girls just out of school or college, would be laughed at.

Wibbs

While Unregistered's post

I always find it funny (i.e. strange) how girls reach a certain age and then wonder where all the decent fellas are.........

may indeed be seen by some as bitter, he is not far wrong. At least it gives an insight into what many older men feel. I can certainly say that pretty much all the 35+ single successful attractive guys who are mates of mine think along those lines.

TBH I did myself for a while. I got tired of the BS of quite a lot of women I met in my 20's. I've even had exes from 10 years previous look me up, after they became newly single. I kid thee not gentle readers. Exes that were all to happy to dump my sorry arse(sometimes for good reason mind:D), in favour of a "better option" at the time. One actually put it like that. Now they're not so sure.

I think the club/pub scene is to be avoided really. Yes the drink oils the wheels etc, but it brings a certain vibe to it not always conducive to looking for a partner.

starn

Alicia Angel wrote: »

where are the decent guys of Dublin?

In Meath, I dont spend my night in Dublin anymore im afraid

MagicMarker

I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible and no offense is intended.

OP, in the last few hours alone you've started two threads in PI that were in no way related to a forum called ''personal issues'. The first thread was closed and I assume you got a pm about that, but you started another thread of a similar ilk, which was also closed. I mention this because according to how you've described yourself, you're the perfect gal, but considering your last 2 threads, you don't appear to be the brightest star in the sky. Could you possibly be giving this impression by how you carry yourself? Lot's of guys regard intelligence very highly, and it's clear you're a smart girl as your posts are well articulated. But do you have your 'blonde' moments? Could be a big turn off to some guys.

Just a thought.

Wibbs

starn read the charter on off topic pointless posts. No more.

Darragh29

Wibbs wrote: »

While Unregistered's post may indeed be seen by some as bitter, he is not far wrong. At least it gives an insight into what many older men feel. I can certainly say that pretty much all the 35+ single successful attractive guys who are mates of mine think along those lines.

TBH I did myself for a while. I got tired of the BS of quite a lot of women I met in my 20's. I've even had exes from 10 years previous look me up, after they became newly single. I kid thee not gentle readers. Exes that were all to happy to dump my sorry arse(sometimes for good reason mind:D), in favour of a "better option" at the time. One actually put it like that. Now they're not so sure.

I think the club/pub scene is to be avoided really. Yes the drink oils the wheels etc, but it brings a certain vibe to it not always conducive to looking for a partner.

All my mates are in their early-mid 30's and the ones that are single, wouldn't have a hope of being entertained by girls 10-15 years younger than them, and these lads are good looking and well set up for life!

seahorse

Unregistered wrote: »

OP, your problem may have been that you had it handy for many years attracting fellas and now a younger set is coming up behind you and you are no longer the top of the pile. What do you expect? You made the most of the system when you were at the top. You can't criticise it now.

I don't think I've ever read a post on here dripping with such bitterness. Whoever wrote this has bigger problems than a history of having been passed over for more physically attractive men.

As for women being passed their prime because they're no longer late teens/early twenties well, lol to that!

Wibbs

Darragh29 wrote: »

All my mates are in their early-mid 30's and the ones that are single, wouldn't have a hope of being entertained by girls 10-15 years younger than them, and these lads are good looking and well set up for life!

So (if they chose to of course) one of your 35 year old mates wouldn't have a hope with a 25 year old? I do agree that going for a 20 year old is a wrong un IMHO anyway.

seahorse wrote:

I don't think I've ever read a post on here dripping with such bitterness. Whoever wrote this has bigger problems than a history of having been passed over for more physically attractive men.

Bitter? Agreed. No doubt, especially that part. That attitude, no, a less bitter one is remarkably common though. I've heard it expressed in less bitter terms way more than once. Now I don't particularly agree with it, but there are a lot of guys who did get passed over or dumped in bad ways when younger that carry that with them and are at the very least very wary. They can afford to be too as opportunities are there.

As for women being passed their prime because they're no longer late teens/early twenties well, lol to that

true. I can think of a few women I know that are more emotionally together, better looking with more toned and sexy figures at 30 than they were at 18.

SarahSassy

Finding a partner you love and who loves you is a lottery and not everyone is lucky...

There are TONS of decent guys in Dublin but you need to meet a decent guy who loves you and who also tickles your fancy...

This cannot be orchestrated or strategised - its down to luck and a little bit of positive thinking. Its a cliche but the best thing to do is to make yourself as happy as you can and get on with life while not 'waiting' for him to arrive... Make your own life, enjoy yourself and keep an eye out for Mr Right but not to the detriment of you having a nice life... In other words, go out with your friends, keep an eye out for cute guys but dont get upset if you dont meet one on that particular occasion.

It will happen. Be positive and believe it..

Wibbs

SarahSassy wrote: »

Its a cliche but the best thing to do is to make yourself as happy as you can and get on with life while not 'waiting' for him to arrive... Make your own life, enjoy yourself and keep an eye out for Mr Right but not to the detriment of you having a nice life... In other words, go out with your friends, keep an eye out for cute guys but dont get upset if you dont meet one on that particular occasion.

Good advice. Though I would slightly disagree with

This cannot be orchestrated or strategised - its down to luck and a little bit of positive thinking.

The positive thinking yes, but your good advice is itself a strategy for someone who doesn't do it naturally. Good though. Be happy in yourself and your own life. Keep options open and you massively increase your chances.

panda100

Why dont you come along to the boards single mingle op : http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055411452

Might be some nice fellas for you there

Darragh29

Wibbs wrote: »

So (if they chose to of course) one of your 35 year old mates wouldn't have a hope with a 25 year old? I do agree that going for a 20 year old is a wrong un IMHO anyway.

Well they are all over 30 and they end up with girls around their own age. Maybe late 20's but not any younger. I'm sure if they were out and a younger girl hit on them, they wouldn't be running away but I've never seen that happen and these lads are fit good looking blokes and can talk for Ireland... I think just off the top of my head, that they would find conversation with a younger girl, completely boringand vice versa, these guys love to talk, solve the worlds problems over a few beers, ya know, barflies! :D:D

SarahSassy

SarahSassy wrote: »

This cannot be orchestrated or strategised - its down to luck and a little bit of positive thinking.

What I meant by this relates to experiences I see my friends going through - they try to place themselves where they think the largest footfall of elibible men will be e.g. Galway Races, rugby weekends, Cafe en Seine etc and the night is generally overtaken by the expectation of meeting someone...

Its good to get out there and be open and available but not to run your life by it...

suppo

Wibbs wrote: »

Where are you looking and what are you looking for? I'm serious. they are literally everywhere.

I don't know where I am looking but it mustn't be in the right places. I agree with you on one of your further posts about pubs and clubs and while I do go out in them regularly I never go out with the attitude of I am going to meet the one here or lets go on the pull because it is few and far between the amount of people who meet in this environment actually amount to anything else.

SarahSassy

Have you tried internet dating???

Darragh29

SarahSassy wrote: »

What I meant by this relates to experiences I see my friends going through - they try to place themselves where they think the largest footfall of elibible men will be e.g. Galway Races, rugby weekends, Cafe en Seine etc and the night is generally overtaken by the expectation of meeting someone...

Its good to get out there and be open and available but not to run your life by it...

No offence to your circle of friends Sarah but hanging out in Cafe En Seine looking for a boyfriend is just asking for trouble. I agree though that the approach in general is the right one, just get out there and God being good, you'll eventually get hooked up with Mr/Ms right. I've always thought that the crowd that you'll usually see in Cafe En Seine are flaky and pretentious. It's the last place I would go looking for a partner...

SarahSassy

Darragh29 wrote: »

No offence to your circle of friends Sarah but hanging out in Cafe En Seine looking for a boyfriend is just asking for trouble. ..

I 150% agree with you but thats just an extreme example for effect Most of the city centre pubs are cattle marts and Cafe en Seine is the worst of them.

Darragh29

SarahSassy wrote: »

I 150% agree with you but thats just an extreme example for effect Most of the city centre pubs are cattle marts and Cafe en Seine is the worst of them.

Most of my mates have met women through their job funny enough...

Kinetic^

SarahSassy wrote: »

Have you tried internet dating???

She seems to be talking to people but she hasn't actually said if she has asked them out on a date. I think she's waiting on them to ask her and I think that laid back attitude is what's got her where she is now.

SarahSassy

Kinetic^ wrote: »

She seems to be talking to people but she hasn't actually said if she has asked them out on a date. I think she's waiting on them to ask her and I think that laid back attitude is what's got her where she is now.

Maybe so.. Some girls are cut out for asking guys out on dates and some, like myself, arent....

Kinetic^

SarahSassy wrote: »

Maybe so.. Some girls are cut out for asking guys out on dates and some, like myself, arent....

I understand completely but there are times in a persons life when you have to go against the norm so that you can get a result.

Darragh29

Jasus I got chatted up last night! Just remembered that!

SarahSassy

Darragh29 wrote: »

Jasus I got chatted up last night! Just remembered that!

Nice one Any gossip for us ??