Where are all the decent guys of Dublin gone???

Ciaran500

Mistika wrote: »

Should I try a library?;)
Maybe the main problem is that they just don't approach me in other places, only in bars, clubs and (what a nonsense) in public transport . And my personal experience has shown so far that such acquaitances are worthless.

Approach them.


We'll be thrilled, even if we're not interested.

Flamed Diving

Mistika wrote: »

Should I try a library?;)
Maybe the main problem is that they just don't approach me in other places, only in bars, clubs and (what a nonsense) in public transport . And my personal experience has shown so far that such acquaitances are worthless.

Anyone who approaches you on public transport, is to be avoided.

I dunno, any of the girls I meet who I wind up developing a real interest in, I tend to meet frequently beforehand, through friends, work, college, social groups, etc. In my opinion, the type of guy who continually approaches complete strangers are weirdos/dickheads/desperate/all of the above.

Most men don't seem to know how to treat women.

anonymous_joe

Any man in a pub is going to be píssed. As are you in all likelihood. So let's face it, do you really expect to find the love of your life after 5 drinks on the dance floor in Coppers?

Best to look for people whom you know through work/college/school/friends whatever and with whom you seem to click already.

copacetic

Flamed Diving wrote: »

In my opinion, the type of guy who continually approaches complete strangers are weirdos/dickheads/desperate/all of the above.

what does continually mean? everyone is a stranger when you first meet them, talking to people to see is there a spark/interest is really the only way to find out do you like them and they like you.

Assuming someone is a weirdo/dickhead/desperate because they approach women is an idiotic attidute to take. Some people will be, but plenty more are just normal people with an extra dose of bravery..

cmcsoft

To be honest I could say the same thing about women, where are all the good women!! I'm not single myself but loads of my friends are and they're nice lads. From what I have seen women is, no matter how good looking, successful, funny etc etc a lad is it's all down to one think......luck. With a lad if he like someone he likes someone with women it depends on a lot of things.....

Her mood
Is pluto lined up with the moon
Her mood


Sorry to off the point but sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Flamed Diving

copacetic wrote: »

what does continually mean? everyone is a stranger when you first meet them, talking to people to see is there a spark/interest is really the only way to find out do you like them and they like you.

Assuming someone is a weirdo/dickhead/desperate because they approach women is an idiotic attidute to take. Some people will be, but plenty more are just normal people with an extra dose of bravery..

I stand by my statement.

copacetic

Flamed Diving wrote: »

I stand by my statement.

fairy nuff, personally I know some Guys who go to dance classes and cookery classes etc as it is a goldmine for picking up women. Thats the creepy/desperate/dickhead way, not just saying hello to someone you don't know in a bar or cafe...

Flamed Diving

copacetic wrote: »

fairy nuff, personally I know some Guys who go to dance classes and cookery classes etc as it is a goldmine for picking up women. Thats the creepy/desperate/dickhead way, not just saying hello to someone you don't know in a bar or cafe...

Right. I agree with all that. I was referring to the statement about 'where all the good guys are gone'. If all she is meeting is pissheads in bars, then there is my explanation.

brianthebard

Mistika wrote: »

Should I try a library?;)
Maybe the main problem is that they just don't approach me in other places, only in bars, clubs and (what a nonsense) in public transport . And my personal experience has shown so far that such acquaitances are worthless.

I would definitely be open to being chatted up while in the library...far more likely to be there than the pub lately!

Jessica4

CALI wrote: »

I agree with this and also the fact that some guys are absolutely hammered by the time they come up to talk to you.

Cali, the reason that lads have to get locked to go up and have the honour of talking to you, is that it makes the pain of rejection feel better with a skinfull of scoops on board. Some single Irish women are masterful when it comes to being stand-offish.

myflipflops

copacetic wrote: »

fairy nuff, personally I know some Guys who go to dance classes and cookery classes etc as it is a goldmine for picking up women. Thats the creepy/desperate/dickhead way, not just saying hello to someone you don't know in a bar or cafe...

I had been considering doing a cookery course with the direct intention of learning to cook better, now i'm completely put off it!

Flamed Diving

Irish women can be very arrogant when it comes to guys, it has to be said. I'm intrigued to know where this stems from. Maybe all the drunken arseholes I refer to have put them off!



In my time at college, I have met women from various parts of the world, and they are far more friendly than Irish girls. Although I am reluctant to generalise, of course not all Irish women are like this, but a significant proportion are. Any thoughts?

Galvasean

brianthebard wrote: »

I would definitely be open to being chatted up while in the library...far more likely to be there than the pub lately!

Shhh!!!!!!!!!!!! No talking in the library. :mad:

bennyblanco

Flamed Diving wrote: »

Irish women can be very arrogant when it comes to guys, it has to be said. I'm intrigued to know where this stems from.

God only knows,especially when you see the state of some of them.
The amount of times you're greeted by pure ignorance when dealing with them is pretty sick

(and when I say dealing I mean just normal interactions not chat up attempts)
Meh

**magnolia**

Flamed Diving wrote: »

Irish women can be very arrogant when it comes to guys, it has to be said. I'm intrigued to know where this stems from. Maybe all the drunken arseholes I refer to have put them off!



In my time at college, I have met women from various parts of the world, and they are far more friendly than Irish girls. Although I am reluctant to generalise, of course not all Irish women are like this, but a significant proportion are. Any thoughts?

Ok Im a single girl and I think that sometimes girls are stand offish but maybe this is down to something I have noticed. If you are in a bar/club and a guy approaches you and has a few drinks, they are not as interested in having conversation with you as they are in diving in for a full on tongue down throat experience. Recently I had a guy say to me that he didnt want a chat, he wanted "some fun".
So sometimes if girls have had this experience and are with their friends and the guy doesnt seem like the type to be into conversation and just wants to get you in the corner and eventually home, you will be stand offish.

Also I am branded very fussy by my friends but the truth of it is that when I say I didnt like something specific about him that seems insignificant for someone else it really means that the chemistry/attraction/spark wasnt enough to stop me noticing the little things.
In the two long term relationships Ive had I liked the guys enough not to notice the little things that might have put me off other guys.

For the OP I would say that trying to make friends in loads of different situations out of the pub/club scene is the only way to meet decent guys, the wider you cast your net, the more fish you catch

chops1990

af_thefragile wrote: »

I am decent, but as i don't looks like Brad Pitt, none of ye women bother to find out...!

Yup, ye're not gonna find a decent guy if you don't go for anyone less good looking than Brad Pitt...!

There's plenty of us friend, there's plenty of us....

Sangre

There are loads of decent women in Dublin.

Problem is none of them want anything to do with me.

LolaLuv

copacetic wrote: »

fairy nuff, personally I know some Guys who go to dance classes and cookery classes etc as it is a goldmine for picking up women. Thats the creepy/desperate/dickhead way, not just saying hello to someone you don't know in a bar or cafe...

Is that bad? It sounds like a good way to meet women, nothing wrong with that. Unless they're making the women think they have honorable intentions when they only want to get into their pants. But I could see myself taking classes to meet men. Hope that doesn't make me creepy or desperate, lolz.:D

Vanbis

PillyPen wrote: »

Is that bad? It sounds like a good way to meet women, nothing wrong with that. Unless they're making the women think they have honorable intentions when they only want to get into their pants. But I could see myself taking classes to meet men. Hope that doesn't make me creepy or desperate, lolz.:D

I'm sure most would say the same about Girls in Dublin. Once the weekend comes though everyone goes out and starts drinking & drinking and getting drunk and then you get a few men who start chatting to girls who are sober and girls with men, everyone starts talking bo**ox and taking the piss. I honeslty think it depends on what bar, pub or club you end up in. I think once you get to a certain stage at night the last thing most would be thinking of is who can i pull but more i need to get another drink inot me:).

I usually find the english, scots girls in town are more craic then the irish but again it depends on were you end up.

xzanti

Go a little further afield.. I found my perfect man hiding in the backa*se of Kildare

Flamed Diving

I smell a boards beers meet.

Zaph

It'll be January at least before there's any official LL meet due to the Christmas Boards Beers and Christmas itself coming up.

Flamed Diving

Zaph wrote: »

It'll be January at least before there's any official LL meet due to the Christmas Boards Beers and Christmas itself coming up.

**** the official BB, surely we can arrange our own night?

Porkpie

Why not try speed dating?

Flamed Diving

Zaph wrote: »

It'll be January at least before there's any official LL meet due to the Christmas Boards Beers and Christmas itself coming up.

Flamed Diving wrote: »

**** the official BB, surely we can arrange our own night?

Actually on second thought, I agree.

Porkpie wrote: »

Why not try speed dating?

Good idea.

mick.fr

Alicia Angel wrote: »

Good Morning Everyone!
Newbie here! But have often kept an eye on the boards- they can at times be very entertaining!!

So yeah maybe the title of my thread is a little negative! But lets put into perspective! Im a 25 year old good looking female ( not wanting to sound arrogant), succesful career, and really outgoing! Have had few diffferent boyfriends in the past, but none of them have taken to my heart if you get me!

Ok, I have high standards- and no they are not ridiculously high, but I wont settle for just anyone, I do believe that a lot of people just settle for the sake of it Im not going to.

So begs the question where are the decent guys of Dublin?

Guys nowadays tend to have a good time only. People have no respect for others and have become hyper materialists and centrists.
Values are gone, and look were we all are today...

Good people are hard to find. Even reliable friends.

Try to hang out in maybe more appropriate places and you might find someone that could fit more easily.

Burial

First off, some of this post is stuck in Italics and won't go away. (Fixed now for some reason)

Secondly, I'm a late comer to this thread.

Thirdly, after reading Unregistered post (There is some truth to it, besides bitterness) and I will provide my take on the state of "men" as it is now.

I'm 20 and I'd class myself as what the OP describes, except I'm from Limerick. I don't have experience of women over 26, so i can only provide you with a limitied view. Anyway, I didn't like the whole club scene. I didn't get it. It's loud, it's full of idiots, most of whom are looking for an excuse to fight. It's not a place for a conversation so you can't judge people other than their looks. Most of the goods ones tend to be taken and those that aren't are hit on by every single man within the walls. Most singles are just looking for a quick score. Hardly any are looking for a relationship. So those of us who aren't up for a quick score every Friday night, know that if we hit on others, the majority of the time we'll be rejected and the other times it won't go anywhere as people rarely have the same interests as us but drinking and choosing to go to the club/pub we met. Rarely does it end up going anywhere beyond that evening. So we just have fun within our own group. Rarely it extends beyond that.

Where does that leave those people who don't want this? They get their friends to "match-make" with other friends who have the same interests as them. Another way is to do things you know the idiots from the club scene won't like doing. Enjoy reading? Goto a book club. Enjoy computer games? Goto a lan. What I'm saying is nice men rarely like where they have to meet women. (Currently bars/nightclubs) Never have I heard of someone meeting in a night club and it lasting more than a year. Long term only has happened when mutual friends set people up or when people met at places they like being in/at.

That is my experience on the whole "nice men" malarcy. I know it's kind've off-topic, but I'm really annoyed why some women and men complain that they can't find romance in a drunkin, horny people filled area, and when they do they have nothing in common.

OP wrote:

Good Morning Everyone!
Newbie here! But have often kept an eye on the boards- they can at times be very entertaining!!

So yeah maybe the title of my thread is a little negative! But lets put into perspective! Im a 25 year old good looking female ( not wanting to sound arrogant), succesful career, and really outgoing! Have had few diffferent boyfriends in the past, but none of them have taken to my heart if you get me!

Ok, I have high standards- and no they are not ridiculously high, but I wont settle for just anyone, I do believe that a lot of people just settle for the sake of it Im not going to.

So begs the question where are the decent guys of Dublin?

I don't know about Dublin, I do know about Limerick, and if it's the same, I'll tell you what happened. They rarely do the pub/club scene, if they do they rarely approach other women, and if they do, they're hardly "your type" based solely on their look, and if they are, they'd say/do something you won't like, and if they don't, they won't have the same interests as you, and if they do, they'd have found someone already and wouldn't be in there in the first place. What I'm saying is, your going to a supermarket trying to pick up the current special fire-sale offer, unfortunatly so is every other woman in your area. Goto the source, i.e. like soccer players goto a soccer fundraiser, etc...

You are going to a place full of people who are looking for the ride. If you want a bf who has the same interests as you, start with a place that interests you. Thats half the battle done there!

Going to a house party is a good place to "weed" out those you don't like and those you do like, especially if you like the whole meeting people through drink...

Unregistered wrote: »

I always find it funny (i.e. strange) how girls reach a certain age and then wonder where all the decent fellas are. This particularly happens among better looking girls. When they're in their prime (looks wise) i.e late teens/early 20's , they enjoy and reap the benefits of being the most attractive around. They never notice that when they are that age that there are girls in their late 20's and above who are "struggling" because of the increased competition. They love the attention from the smooth players when they are younger. They ignore the quieter, more reliable men of a similar age or slightly older. What happens then is that these men get picked up by the "second tier" (looks wise) of girls who aren't distracted by the player-types who are targetting the best looking girls. Hence when they great looking girl hits the age where she doesn't stand out as much as a fresh 20 year old, she doesn't get the attention from the top tier players and she starts to look around and wonders why all the nice men are taken.

As I said, there is some truth to this. Women in (What I argue) as their prime, and wouldn't look twice at someone they consider comparibly less attractive than them. They don't think they're ugly, they get enough attention by those "players" (as above post describes) at clubs, never learning where they are going wrong and saying "Ah sure I'm getting rid of all the bad ones". What your really doing is taking the bad ones away and leaving others with better chances with the good ones.

I thought this was the case, but I think I'm wrong, someone clarify for me please. When you get older your not accepting things you would've accepted years ago. No job? no thanks, as a student it doesn't matter. No car? no way, etc, etc. You don't let your standards drop either. I don't mean that in a bad way, but rarely do you find mr.muscle with fancy job and fancy house. It'll be mr.average with good job and fancy house or mr.muscle with ok job and ok house, or some other form of mixture.

?? wrote:

They were probably beside you for years pet, only you weren't interested. You'll still have the fellas who are out chancing their arm for a ride. They will just chance their arm with the younger girls first and if that doesn't succeed they might give you a go.

You're only 25 so you're not in too bad of a position. A lot of girls refuse to recognise the way these things works until their mid-30's and by then the pickings are slim.

Sorry if I'm oversimplifying things but I'm just giving my opinion. People might conjecture that I'm bitter, but I'm not. I was one of those quiet young fellas who never got the girl and was turned down in preference to some bull****ting knob.

Now I'm older, got a good job, doing well for myself financially. The same girls who wouldn't throw me a second glance or who thought I wasn't good enough for them are now considering me as an option...... My response --- why would I give them a chance now? If I wasn't good enough for them then, I'm not going to be a fall back option now after they've spent years messing around with wasters. Why would I? There's loads of younger girls out there. Your average 20 year old beats 80% of 25-30 year olds on looks anyway. Let's be honest, things start to sag and get flabby and not too many girls exercise enough to keep things the way they used to be! Notwithstanding the fact that these younger girls aren't going to have all the emotional baggage that older one invariably have. It's my turn to be the older man impressing the younger girl just because I have a fancy car and job.

Other friends of mine who I'd consider to have been in similar situations have settled down with aforementioned "second tier looking" girls. They are nice girls and my friends are better off with them. It's just that in your case OP, if you'd made an effort with them when they were younger, you'd probably have snared yourself one of them.


OP, your problem may have been that you had it handy for many years attracting fellas and now a younger set is coming up behind you and you are no longer the top of the pile. What do you expect? You made the most of the system when you were at the top. You can't criticise it now.

I don't agree with this. The pickings of men slightly diminishs as you get older, but not to the rate that you'll end up alone. Especially at 30. With internet dating, etc, etc, you'll have to accept that some men you meet might be divorced or have a kid or whatever. You just change your standards. (As I said above, not drop but adjust. Someone at 60 hardly will be mr.muscle, you know)

As for not giving those women a second chance now, why would they give you a chance later on in life when you want to settle down? Fair enough you've said you don't want to date someone your own age, but they aren't your "fall-back" either. You didn't like them because you thought they classed you as a "fall-back". I know so many 20 year olds who have too much emotional baggage. No one is free from it. Also, your post made it feel as though your friends are getting the right people and you'll be left with all the wrong ones when you decide to start dating your own age. That was your theory to the OP.

Robbie23

Alicia Angel wrote: »

Hi!

Like not constantly complaining about wanting to move away, or moving career or throwing it all in I guess.

So a career is important then?

Osteosam

Mistika wrote: »

I have almost the same problem as yours. Although I don't live in Dublin, I'm also concerned about finding a decent guy. Looks like they are all already taken and that's sad!
People say I'm attractive (but I don't think so, I have some self esteem issues..), intelligent, interesting person, however a bit shy. I'm 22 and feel hopeless sometimes... I see many happy couples around, almost all friends of mine aren't single and that's why I feel even more lonely. They don't have as much time to spend with me as they had before meeting their boyfriends... The question is what shall I do to find a decent guy? I find myself not being too picky, I don't have any unreasonable standards. I'm too shy to approach a guy, but they don't approach me, unless they're drunk.. Is there any solution?..

Sorry, was intending on reading right to the end of this thread before replying but this just got my goat!

For pete's sake! You're 22. I think back to when I was 22 and realise that the guys I would have been with are in absolutely no way similar to the guys i'd be with now... Now before people say it, yep, some people are fortunate and find themselves with someone great from a young age - someone who will grow with them, believe in them, indulge in the give and take and support that is part of a healthy relationship. And bless them, I'm so pleased they lucked in! But then I also see many of my friends who hooked up with their 'dream man' in their early 20's and now, sadly they are splitting up left, right and centre. Divorce. Oh yes please! :eek:

Personally i'd rather be single, or a serial monogamist for the rest of my life, than find myself in that situation. But then I may be a little too involved with many other aspects of my life to compromise on the important qualities that would trigger my desire to commit... and by important qualities I mean those of maturity, emotional stability, a good set of personal boundaries, caring, sharing etc etc etc. Sure, if Mr right turned out to look like Dave Grohl i'd be plenty pleased, but impressing my girlfriends with the hotness of this weekends 'catch' is insufficient to prompt me to want more to do with a guy.

Give me an intelligent conversation, a quick wit, an ability to laugh at oneself, and less hair product than I use (and I dont' really go much for it myself! :rolleyes:) and you're in. And god knows there's an absolute plethora of intelligent witty guys out there. Sadly it seems they're all in front of their computers being witty and intelligent on boards.ie :pac:.

Moral of my post - I think there's heaps of great guys, AND great girls out there, but methods of screening (drunk in pubs?!?!) seems to be a bit off kilter.

Osteosam

Robbie23 wrote: »

Alicia Angel wrote: »

Hi!

Like not constantly complaining about wanting to move away, or moving career or throwing it all in I guess.

So a career is important then?

I'd say not so much career being important, but knowing what your passion or mission in life is and being willing to go for it is a huge turn on! This includes mature people who are gutsy enough to risk jumping ship on the "dayjob" and dive head first into making their passion a reality in their life. Beats being miserable and unfulfilled all your life doing something simply to pay the bills.
People who drift around from one thing to another, never really putting in the yards to be successful are perhaps less likely to have reached the level of maturity to maintain commitment to other things in life... like relationships.

I may be waaaay off here....