Quickies

rocky25 · 17-11-2008 4:11pm #1

One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a two storey hay shed.

When he woke up, he heard his son having sex with his girlfriend on the bottom level of the hayshed.

He decided he wouldn't disturb them, so he lay down and rested.

After a while he heard his son say,

"Father, Father up above. Give me strength for one last shove."

So the father, being smart, replied,

"Son, Son down below.

Get the f**k off and give your father a go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.

Having no place to hide he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his Manhood.

Startled he drops a bar of soap.

'Oh look' says the first nun 'it's a soap dispenser'.

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.

Sure enough he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go.

She pulls once then twice and three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs then yells...

'Holy Mary* Mother of God*

HAND LOTION TOO!'