Naked No No's

rocky25

Things NOT to say to a Naked Woman;

Cool, I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

How many storage boxes can you fit in there?!

You must be very experienced.

Remember, you said this was a freebie...right?

Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don't fall in.

I gotta take off my watch, wouldn't wanna lose it.

Why do you wear a bra when you've already got a belt.

Would you mind rolling around in this flour.

I heard carpenters dream about you.

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Look....I can get my whole arm in.

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Is that an optical illusion?

If I look right at it I feel like I'm falling in.

Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?

Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off?

Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish?

I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

I've been wondering all night what that smell was.

Maybe if I get really wasted I wont mind your body.

You know they have surgery to fix that.

Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

Oh, that's why they call it a Wonderbra, it makes those lines go away.

Huh? They told me your name was Jezebel.

I expect a good time, at least, the bathroom wall said so.

You're not as ugly as people claim, not quite anyway.

You're not 'that' fat.

I see why everyone said, with you, it's better with the lights out.

Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does.

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Things NOT to say to a Naked Man;

That's it?

Wow - look at all the hair on your back!

Maybe you should start going to the gym more.

That was fine, dear...pass me my vibrator?

Thats a shame, maybe we should grab a video instead?

Wake me when it's over, ok?

I think the condom's too big.

Zzzzzz....

You want me to what?!?

Well, that explains the padded pants.

Did you take out the garbage yet?

My husband's in the Marines.

He's due home any day now.

Is that a toupee?

So THAT'S what your ex warned me about!

No.

Surgery might be able to help.

Not until you've showered.

That must be my mother on the phone.

Your brother's bigger.

Your best friend's better.

Are you done yet?

Wow! Look at the size of your.....beer gut!

Size doesn't REALLY matter, dear.

You might want to see a doctor about that.

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! !!!!

jimbo19162

haha brilliant

Homer

So Rocky, have you used any on a female or had one used on you??

rocky25

Homer wrote: »

So Rocky, have you used any on a female or had one used on you??

I once said to a Girlil ( while doing the business ) "you talk just as much as your sister does" :eek: Didn't go down well at all.

In fact I didn't go down either:rolleyes:

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Another time another Girlil, we were on the Sofa (going like the clappers) she was moaning and groaning and I was watching the Family Guy on TV at the same time. I started laughing at Stewie and Brian.

She realised what was going and got up, Turned OFF the telly and threw the remote control down the toilet:mad:

What a strange woman

coldfire1x

Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

dh0661

Homer wrote: »

So Rocky, have you had one used on you??

XXX small condoms would be too big for you guys :eek: >>>>>>>>>>>> :rolleyes::rolleyes: