Zombie Attack!

Kold

OK, here's the situation, you're wherever you are on a weekday at 3pm. You either hear a ruckus or you have your TV/radio on. Either way, you find yourself the closest television to watch. The newscaster is your usual stereotype movie idiot, he's out in Mitchelstown where there has been an epidemic of some sort. Symptoms have included greatly reduced bloodflow, rotting flesh and extreme uncontrollable rage. This is adding up for you, but Mr Newscaster, he's none the wiser, he suspects some super strain of MRSI. All of a sudden a howling screech and the guy is tackled to the ground. This is your first glimpse at what is to come, a youngish (probably 15 but could pass as an 18 year old) girl, belly portruding from under her muffin-top, big f*ck off hoopla ear rings, and fake tan smeared over her pale skin which is networked with blue veins has just leapt onto him and is ripping out his throat with her teeth.

Holy ****.

Motherf*cking zombies.

So, with this in mind, what do you do? Mitchelstown is burning as the camera falls to the ground and smashes. The studio presenters are utterly lost for words, you can see Dublin in the background as a huge explosion goes off. The station feed is cut. An emergency broadcast starts, it's localised to Cork. Apparently Kerry and Limerick have both fallen in the last few hours.. Only no one paid any attention because.. Well would you? The airport has already evacuated because they're a bunch of assholes. Ireland has appealed to Europe and the UK for help but they said "Hawhawhaw furst jou reeject Leesbon zen jou vont our hellllp? Very vell, vee shall help.. in like a munth hawhawhawwwww!"
What a bunch of dicks.
The broadcast lists the most common genuses that have been spotted. First is the Knacklor, it's strengths include being incredibly fast and strong, it's recognised by it's peaked cap, trousers tucked into socks and sportswear even though they're not playing sports. Weaknesses noted is that most of them are extremely flammable due to the high level of vodka in their systems. Next is the same beast you saw on the TV, the Stellahr, It lets out high pitched screams that stun the victim into submission, before the victim knows it, it has made a huge mistake and is being literally mauled to death. There was a bus full of Americans in Kerry at the time of it's fall. Since then, huge lumbering zombies that shout "brains" in an obnoxious nasally southern drawl have been grabbing people and vomitting a highly corrosive acid onto their victims. They then lap up the soup like substance that was once a human being. Typical yanks, too lazy to fecking chew. The next most common type but the least dangerous of the ones listed is the Y'Mo genus. They're usually quite small, the males are androgynous and the females have very colourful hair. The strength of them is that they hunt in packs. Weaknesses seem to be that they get all apathetic and end up eating their own brains whilst listening to sh*t music.

OK, it's going to get dark soon, and very cold. With Kerry and Limerick both f*cked, the roads are definitely not safe. Just try getting to f*cking anywhere too, it's almost half four. Rush hour is starting soon. You need to get somewhere safe within the city reaches, somewhere with supplies, food and drink, and hopefully somewhere with signal. You will almost certainly need weapons. Somewhere fortified. It'll be at least a week before aid is sent. What are you going to do!?



and yes, I was very bored today.

minidazzler

There is a Zombie Survival Forum you know?

However I would go to Tesco's Mahon Point. Plenty of food and it would make a great movie!

Kold

I only thought of that forum afterwards but I figured that I wanted this to be a unique to Cork City thread. As for a Tescos, I reckon as soon as they breached the windows you'd be dead, if they didn't break the windows, looters probably would. Though I haven't been to the one in Mahon Point.

11811

pub?

sixpack's little hat

Specifically the Oval, no zombies could get through those tiny doors with their arms flailing around.

taram

Discussed this with friends before and I stick with my answer then: the ORB in UCC. Arts students will mock me, but I can NEVER find my way around there, so I can lock myself in some tiny office down A B3 or whatever the identical corridors are and hope the zombies just keep doubling back on themselves.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

taram wrote: »

Discussed this with friends before and I stick with my answer then: the ORB in UCC. Arts students will mock me, but I can NEVER find my way around there, so I can lock myself in some tiny office down A B3 or whatever the identical corridors are and hope the zombies just keep doubling back on themselves.

Ha I was just going to say that!

Kold

I feel I may have put too much effort into the OP.

minidazzler

Considering the amount of Alcohol in Tesco's it would be Perfect. I would just get really drunk and let them take me. It's inevitable anyway!

11811

Top of the elysian...sniper rifle.
added bonus of a grand view of the northside being overrun!:D

gramlab

Your house (after I'd killed ya of course). You sound like someone who would be prepared.

Jumpy

Exactly how is this different to Cork now?

440Hz

I'd go to Shandon. If it can survive the Tans it can survive a few Zombies. I'll ring the bells when it's safe for the rest of you to crawl outta yer holes!

Rich1691

I'd say we raid all the supermarkets then head to pairc ui Chaoimh and set up camp. Lock down the showgrounds and through a few snipers on those old buildings across the river on the look out. Get any boats that are in the quoy and park up on the river for an easy escape. LOL
I have way too much time on my hands!

KnifeWRENCH

taram wrote: »

Discussed this with friends before and I stick with my answer then: the ORB in UCC. Arts students will mock me, but I can NEVER find my way around there, so I can lock myself in some tiny office down A B3 or whatever the identical corridors are and hope the zombies just keep doubling back on themselves.

Lol, excellent idea!

Kold

Isn't there a barracks at the top of Patricks Hill? Just dispatch of the pansies in there and set up shop.

Aodan83

Kold wrote: »

Isn't there a barracks at the top of Patricks Hill? Just dispatch of the pansies in there and set up shop.

Hadnt thought of that, but good idea. Head into J.W. Murray, or whatever its called, next to that bank on patrick st., and grab some sharp stuff. They have bows and arrows too, those are fun. Then head on up to the barracks. Oh, stop off in tesco on the way.
Or, raid tesco, then leg it out to páirc ui caiomh and follow Rich1691's plan.

run_Forrest_run

Rich1691 wrote: »

I'd say we raid all the supermarkets then head to pairc ui Chaoimh and set up camp...

good idea, may as well put it to some use anyway:D

gramlab

Rich1691 wrote: »

I'd say we raid all the supermarkets then head to pairc ui Chaoimh and set up camp. Lock down the showgrounds and through a few snipers on those old buildings across the river on the look out. Get any boats that are in the quoy and park up on the river for an easy escape. LOL
I have way too much time on my hands!

Great idea. Off you all go then.


Starts making "tasty humans are in there" signs

Fysh

Ah, what the hell:

First, you need shelter. Barracks would be great, but you need a safe emergency exit for if/when things go wrong. So high walls or fences but with an escape avenue. You don't want the Elysian for this exact reason, unless you can guarantee to take and maintain control over the only entrance. I'd suggest one of the small gated communities around the place (there's one opposite Finbarr's cathedral for example). There's a lot to be said for getting away from the population centres though, while keeping yourself within range of food supplies.

So, once you've picked your place, next you need weapons, transport and food. For weapons I'd guess you're best off hitting one of the sporting goods shops and that fishing/hunting supply place on Pana around the French Quarter - can't remember the name of it but I think they've got either paintball guns or pellet guns, which while not great would be better than nothing. Might even have rifles or shotguns though I'd be kind of surprised at that. Worth checking for bite-proof clothing while you're at it.

For transport the best bet will be a motorbike, preferably a dirtbike of some sort. (You're screwed if you've never ridden one before though, a zombie apocalypse is no time to learn how to use a geared motorbike). If you've got your own, sweet. If not, find one to nick.

For food, I would say one of the big supermarkets in town. Hit it, grab as much non-perishable stuff as you can - ie rucksack full of canned food, either with ringpulls or with a can opener, several large bottles of water.

Once that lot's sorted, you have to barricade yourself into wherever you're holing yourself up. Depends on the place really, so it's hard to go into specifics.

Must admit I'd be tempted to head out to Blarney Castle, although it's a bit too far from a reliable food source and seems a bit too much like a zombie film setting.

deRanged

Fysh wrote: »

. Might even have rifles or shotguns though I'd be kind of surprised at that.

why? they advertise that they sell them. you would have a hard time getting them though, they're all in secure storage.

I'm surprised that everyone is assuming that they'd have no problems getting around town. the streets don't move all that well at the best of times, I expect that during the zombie apocalypse it'll be at a standstill. and that's not to mention the hoards of zombie skobes.

Places like tesco will just be magnets for the afflicted and the survivors, and so the last places I'd head. places like gun shops and hardware stores will be fortresses so no point heading there - the survivors inside won't let you in and they will be surrounded by zombies.

I reckon getting out of the city, away from population centres would be the way forward. maybe even form a community in the jack lynch tunnel. it should be easy enough to secure it.

Fysh

deRanged wrote: »

why? they advertise that they sell them. you would have a hard time getting them though, they're all in secure storage.

I moved to London over a year ago and couldn't remember whether that place advertised gun sales or I was just making assumptions.

As for getting around, it's a fair point I suppose - depends on how far along the outbreak has gotten. Have we seen outbreaks of the Oulalcoh yet? (typically an apparently frail old drunk with burst blood vessels for cheeks who can move with surprising speed to incapacitate victims; its danger compounded by the concentrated alcohol on its breath which can confuse and disorient victims)

That church on Washington Street opposite Prime Time might prove a good short-term hideout if you were stuck in the city centre. Two exits, both of which should be easy enough to barricade if you've got numbers. Not much good in terms of supplies or a long term plan, though...

Fabio

I'd say drive on down to Cobh and destory the bridge into it. (both rail and road).

That way no zombie's get in...but then if zombie's are in Cobh it's game over.

I would say the Kane Building in UCC (http://lh3.ggpht.com/_BrX56UzU0Zs/R6UUfyJyyxI/AAAAAAAAAuY/gKNxpCCMPe0/407.JPG)

This place is about seven stories high and has plenty of acid and scientific equipment to use as weaponry if need be. There is also the possibility of helicopter escape from the roof which is accessible from the top.

There's both lifts and stairs so you'd need to secure these if you're going to camp out on the top floors.

There's a basement in there too...

Not too many doors down below so it should be relatively easy to secure if you have enough people and also you're close to food.

One thing people havent mentioned is that we could fight back against the zombies. As regards this UCC would be perfect as you could take and secure the campus before spreading from there.

11811

Fabio wrote: »

I'd say drive on down to Cobh and destory the bridge into it. (both rail and road).

That way no zombie's get in...but then if zombie's are in Cobh it's game over.

I would say the Kane Building in UCC (http://lh3.ggpht.com/_BrX56UzU0Zs/R6UUfyJyyxI/AAAAAAAAAuY/gKNxpCCMPe0/407.JPG)

This place is about seven stories high and has plenty of acid and scientific equipment to use as weaponry if need be. There is also the possibility of helicopter escape from the roof which is accessible from the top.

There's both lifts and stairs so you'd need to secure these if you're going to camp out on the top floors.

There's a basement in there too...

Not too many doors down below so it should be relatively easy to secure if you have enough people and also you're close to food.

One thing people havent mentioned is that we could fight back against the zombies. As regards this UCC would be perfect as you could take and secure the campus before spreading from there.

Ah now, zombies can walk through water, no point in going to cobh....

Seriously though.. Pub?

Blitzkrieger

I'd hole up in my gaff. Outside the city but not too far + I know the area so would know where to go for supplies. It's got flat roofs to use as sniper platforms so I'd just have to knock down the stairs and use a ladder to get in and out. Throw an automatic gate out the back for when I need to go on supply runs and I'm sorted...

Fysh

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

I'd hole up in my gaff. Outside the city but not too far + I know the area so would know where to go for supplies. It's got flat roofs to use as sniper platforms so I'd just have to knock down the stairs and use a ladder to get in and out. Throw an automatic gate out the back for when I need to go on supply runs and I'm sorted...

This is starting to sound like adam planning the most epic BBC yet, really. Not so much zombie invasion as lengthy pissup.

Illkillya

Kold this actually sounds really freakin good. I have been playing Left 4 Dead, and based on what you have written I am tempted to mod an expansion campaign: "Escape from Knocknaheeny".

p.s., assuming I have all keys/codes I would probably stock up with a bit of food and head for AIB on the South Mall. Nice balconies to snipe from and if all else fails I hide in a vault.

miss_shadow

i'd head for the barracks in my neighbours car. if most are zombies in the city then chances are they are not at the barracks yet because i live in between. so to barracks, cry for help, get some nice strong soldier to ring the alarms, grap some weapons and food,call to get a helicopter to the barracks and off i go! easy peesy.

Kold

miss_shadow wrote: »

i'd head for the barracks in my neighbours car. if most are zombies in the city then chances are they are not at the barracks yet because i live in between. so to barracks, cry for help, get some nice strong soldier to ring the alarms, grap some weapons and food,call to get a helicopter to the barracks and off i go! easy peesy.

"Ooh save me Mr big strong soldier man."

1. It's the FCA or whatever they're called now, so don't be expecting too much.
2. Wusses die first in horror flicks.

:P

Aodan83

Try and get into a position where you are the leader of the group. That guy never dies.

D-Generate

Would try and stay inside the Mardyke Arena. Has tall gates/fences all the way around so no zombies could get in there and even if they did, it has a nice river at the back that you could use to escape. I would stay in there eating food from the canteen and stuff from vending machines. I would also train really hard and work on my guns so that I could become some sort of action hero. It would also have an abundance of hot ladies and I would be "the last man on earth"! Oh and its roomy.... i like space