FAS!

dak

On a recent American Airlines flight from Florida to Dublin Capt R Molloy flew into a load of turbelence which shook all on board .

Capt Molloy issued a quick safety announcement to passengers advising them to "FAS"ten seat belts as it was going to be a rough landing and he was not going to spare any expense getting them all home on time!

deadwood

$400 on a Nail Bar?

Fey!

First class!!!

dak

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the Irish Government's FAS scheme and employ people from Limerick. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Limerick area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gadgets.

It was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by the Ferrari management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However....Ferrari got more than they bargained for.

At the crew's first practice session, not only were the Limerick pit crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilogram of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.

deadwood

...and as or Rody Molloy flying the wife business class for a facial...