Farting In Public

ShooterSF

When its silent I like to turn around and say something like "that was a good one" to the usual reply "what was a good on.... oh god sick man!!!"

dSTAR

Deleted User wrote: »

did she have an adams apple honey pie?

Ooops .. busted

Ross_Mahon

If i farted in public, you would know all about it! I could make a skunk turn over in his grave.

stovelid

Depends on level of drunkenness. Unless shit-faced, I'll make a token it-was-him-gesture, or slip it out, pause and then vacate the area.

Berty

admiralofthefleet

ShooterSF wrote: »

When its silent I like to turn around and say something like "that was a good one" to the usual reply "what was a good on.... oh god sick man!!!"

when i let a big one i say 'anyone injured' or 'speak up caller your through'

Berty

Better an empty house than a bad lodger

admiralofthefleet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn33gc_hUdE

raah!

9am Luas stinkers are my way of "sticking it to the man".

KingLoser

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

I would say something about queefing... but that **** bothers me.

Xavi6

I let an absolute bomb go in the gym last night. Cleared a large section around me and it was very difficult to hold in the laughter.

Guinness farts are always a guarnteed success the day after a night out.

admiralofthefleet

Xavi6 wrote: »

I let an absolute bomb go in the gym last night. Cleared a large section around me and it was very difficult to hold in the laughter.

Guinness farts are always a guarnteed success the day after a night out.

i let a fart go in the bookies years ago after a night on guinness and indian food, i cleared the whole bookies and it came to be known as the 'stanley racing incident'. im sure the smell is still there after all these years

FlutterinBantam

Folks, this is not a laughing matter.

Gas held too long in the intestine can cause some damage,and therefore it's best to "blow out the pipes" at the earliest opportunity.

I felt a howitzer coming on out on the golf course yesterday,so without thinking,puffed out the rusty bullet hole,and let go a rozzer that shook the trees.

Unfortunately I didn't spot two ladies on an adjacent tee.

Continentals are much freer with their wind as I found out at Dublin airport.

Two young well dressed ladies with a middle aged stout gentleman looking at the flight monitors down at the "B"gates. Just as I passed the gent unloads a loud machine gun like ripper a "string of pearls" fcukin back of the trousers was flapping!! Not even a nod or flinch from the females!!Just carried on as if nothing had happened.

Don't hold back people.

Mc Love

quirke_folder wrote: »

Oh yeah, FAO Women. We know you masturbate!

Of course they do!

Guru Maith Agut

Kiera wrote: »

we dont have bum-holes!

So where was I last night?

Zangetsu

I was sitting beside my bro on the luas, an old man was sitting across from us. I let an absolute stinker out, silent ofc. One of those dirty hunger farts that you can actually taste. The old man looked up at my brother in disgust and my brother looked at him the same way. Nothing was said.

We got off at the next stop and my brother goes to me. "That smelly fook on the luas farted, ****in stank! He looked at me as if I did it!" I nearly fell over laughing...

mcauley

Guru Maith Agut wrote: »

So where was I last night?

azezil

I let them rip while I'm walking around... or if walking around isn't an option I make it as loud and possible and laugh hysterically.

CreepingDeath

Guru Maith Agut wrote: »

So where was I last night?

Still only cockers deep in the flabby buttocks.

iPlop

let rip normally ,but today there a bit funky cos i had a chicken madras last night and i have had to put the "reverse thrust" into action a few
times today.Also handy tip after eating madras or vindaloo.Put huggies
alchahol free baby wipes in the fridge when goin to bed ,there a Fcukin' legend at 6am when yer on the pot and you have magma flowing out yer ass;)

Mcfast

let it rip and laugh my ass off

biko

I remember letting one go in a pub in Bundoran, just after the smoke ban. Before the ban the smoke would cover a lot of the smell but this time it was absolutely disgusting. Didn't help I was standing next to a group of lovely looking girls. Ran outside for a smoke and didn't approach that side of the pub all evening.

AckwelFoley

the only time i will fart in public is if its worth it..

Like when you are going up an escalator and you hit the snob in the eye 3 steps below you.

Smart Bug

snyper wrote: »

the only time i will fart in public is if its worth it..

Like when you are going up an escalator and you hit the snob in the eye 3 steps below you.

It was you, damn your eyes!!

I felt a warm draft on my face and smelt sulphur and rotted flesh.
Twas as if the very bowels of hell had opened afore me.

skyhighflyer

I carefully place a roll of toilet paper in the freezer before even picking up the phone to order a curry.

FlutterinBantam

I was heading up to the Supermarket last Saturday and this broad arsed bint,and a "Captain of Industry "was loading their shopping into a large Beemer 4WD.

It was jammed in over the footpath and they had the trolley blocking the only other way of passing.

As is my wont, I stopped and waited ,sure she would just shift the trolley so I could get by .Totally ignored me, as if I wasn't there,just kept casually loading with no particular hurry.
Was a tad annoyed, but felt a rasper moving down the gut and building up a fair head of steam at the cigar cutter.
Held her on the clutch until she finished then shunted forward,and just as I passed them unloaded a rasper of a smelly wet paaaaarper of a fart,which rattled the walls of the building.

"You dirty Pig!" says your man,but I just replied with another salvo and says to myself "job well done"

AckwelFoley

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

at the cigar cutter.
"

nice

Fulton Crown

snyper wrote: »

the only time i will fart in public is if its worth it..

Like when you are going up an escalator and you hit the snob in the eye 3 steps below you.

Mention of escalators reminds me of the time I was in Dunnes in Swords - the one near JC'S.

Was feeling a bit hungover and slightly billious from a feed of Guinness an a fairly "active" vindaloo the night before.

Felt a "build" around the badge area while on the escalator to first floor which runs right through the middle of the store.

Was only person on escalator and when I thought I had reached safe "altitude" blew the cheeks.

Was like a fcukin sonic boom - much to my embarrasment - swear I saw a couple of auld ones on ground floor reach for the rosary beads !!.

Exited that store sharpish I can tell you......:o:o