Sunday Quickies

rocky25

A blind guy visits a prostitute as he is blind he cant see what he’s getting and ends up with a pox ridden old boot.

They go upstairs and she undresses he runs his hand over her spotty arse and recoils.

Its ok she says it’s just a bit of acne.

Thank god he says, I thought it was the price list.

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says,

"Slim, I'm 73 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.

I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "Hell, I feel just like a new-born baby."

"Really!? Like a baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just sh1t my pants."

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Husband finishes reading the book 'be the man of your house' and says to the wife

From now on my word is law.

YOU will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight with a sumptuous dessert.

Afterwards we will have the kind of sex that I want.

YOU will bathe me as I relax, towel me dry then massage my feet and back.

Then tomorrow guess who will dress me and comb my hair?'

Wife says


'The fooking funeral director would be my first guess'

KatCookie

Third ones my favourite!

coldfire1x

Last one really funny

themadchef

Yup, third one my favourite too. She and I think alike

GAAman

Quality stuff rock loved the first one!