Too busy for relationship but still need sex

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Arguing about it isn't going to make it right or yourself look any better.
Prositution is WRONG. End of story. You have not given a valid arguement to the contrary.

As for the percantage? You missed my point and I'm not going to bother to explain it.

We are not talking about globalisation and coporate greed. We are talking about the exploitation of women here for sexual purposes.

If someone wants too sell their body for sex I have no problem with it, and I dont see why you should either. It's there choice. I dont understand how you can say it's wrong, what makes it wrong?

Aloysius Flyte

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Arguing about it isn't going to make it right or yourself look any better.

You have not given a valid arguement to the contrary.

Are you always this confused?
In your opinion it's wrong, and running around with your fingers in your ears yelling "la-la-la it's wrong and I can't hear anything else" is not going to support your point, and most of all, it's not going to help the OP in any manner.


OP: it comes down to a few things. The possible health aspect of things - someone suggested a random woman in a club might be more likely to be infected etc (though I have to admit I'd have assumed the other way around, depends on the legality and so on I suppose) - vs the possibility that the "escort" might be extremely unhappy doing what they do.
You also may want to wonder if this will have any effect on any future relationship you may have; I'm not saying it should or shouldn't, but it's easy to imagine someone saying "I love my gf, feel guilty about having used a prostitute in the past, what do I do" etc.

Aloysius Flyte

Chucky the tree wrote: »

If someone wants too sell their body for sex I have no problem with it, and I dont see why you should either. It's there choice. I dont understand how you can say it's wrong, what makes it wrong?

Ok, I'm clearly going to have to spell this out.

What makes it wrong is that they don't want to sell their body for sex. They are forced to by others. That is exploitation.

Jeeez guys. Can't you see that?

Silverfish

Aloysius Flyte and Chucky the tree, thats enough on this thread.

Take it to pm or Humanities.

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Ok, I'm clearly going to have to spell this out.

What makes it wrong is that they don't want to sell their body for sex. They are forced to by others. That is exploitation.

Jeeez guys. Can't you see that?

Well done on asking every single prostitute in the world in they are ebing forced. That must of taken along time to do.


Fair enough Silver, apologies to the OP.

LegacyUser

Dragan, The two prostitutes you knew were they friends / family or were you a customer?

Guys when you go to a prostitute you are exploiting women.

Why? Because the vast majority are only in prostitution because they are supporting a drug habit, are forced into it or have fallen on hard times. It is the last industry any woman wants to end up in. You are subjected to brutality, abuse and it forever changes our view of men. It usually impacts negatively on the life of the girl because she can not have a full and open relationship with a man, if she does it is normally fraught with problems. She has to lead a double life as being a prostitute is not something you run home to your family and boast about. There is a reason for that, it is an ugly industry, which is hard on the women involved, even those who are well paid have to make huge sacrifices both emotionally and in terms of the personal life to do so. One would only choose a life like that out of desperation or greed. If it's the latter, it eventually catches up with them as they are stigmatised for life from their profession.

Would you marry a prostitute? The majority of you will say no. Why?
Would you be happy if your sister or wife was a prostitute? The majority will say no. Why?

No woman chooses it as a profession because of the perks. Sleeping with strangers is not an enjoyable experience for any woman. You are deluding yourself if you think it is.

A one night stand is based on attraction, mutual and consentual.
Paying a prostitute for sex has nothing to do with attraction on her part and is basically her lying back and letting you do what you want to her body. That is exploiting a woman.

How do I know this, because I have done outreach work with prostitutes. It is destructive, cruel, damaging and abusive. No matter how much you try to dress it up to ease your conscience or to convince yourself that you are doing nothing wrong, it will not change the fact that all prostitutes end up miserable and loney and screwed up in the head. The majority have major issues and are working in prostitution as a last resort and by supporting that industry you responsible for part of their misery. the ones who are in it purely for the money, are miserable too and very few work without pimps, who are abusive too. So think about the woman you are paying for sex. Why is she there? what brought her to that job or all jobs. And where will she end up? It is not a nice industry. It's touted as the oldest industry in the world, well it's also one of the ugliest.

stovelid

I'm sorry, but it's seriously stretching it to say that every single person (male or female) working in the sex industry is being economically /physically / mentally coerced in some way.

This thread is just going to turn into another prostitution flame-up

OP: I personally wouldn't use an escort, but I see nothing wrong with the 'transaction' as long as there are no pimps, addiction, abuse, or any other coercive factors involved. I would agree with the posters who say that it shouldn't be too hard to hook with like-minded people who just want a NSA encounter. That way, it would be based on attraction rather than commerce.

Overheal

Stovelids right. I guess Im thinking too Hollywood when I say Lost In Translation (or The Terminal) but surely your business does have you cross paths with similarly situationed people, that are always living out of a suitcase?

@ post #37: Humanities Forum is Thataway.

LegacyUser

stovelid wrote: »

I'm sorry, but it's seriously stretching it to say that every single person (male or female) working in the sex industry is being economically /physically / mentally coerced in some way.

It's a hell of a lot more plausible than saying the majority actually choose it as a preffered profession. There may be exceptions, but for the majority it is a nasty business that affects every aspect of their lives and is not a career I would recommend to my nearest and dearest. Nor you, I would imagine. It destroys those who work in the industry, in the main.

I don't want a flame up discussion about prostitution, I'm just giving a reality check on the industry so the OP can make an informed decision. There is a lot of research available on the subject. If you are really interested I suggest you look into it.

A Primal Nut

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

Which are full of prostitutes anyway. Or fake profiles - there really aren't many women on the adult dating websites.

OP, you have a massive advantage in that, like me, you travel. This means women know you can't commit and that you could be going home or away from home soon. Therefore they are more likely to see you as one-night stand material. Or a short-time **** buddy. Try normal dating websites etc You have the added advantage of not looking desperate (like a lot of guys on dating websites) because you can just say "I'm looking for people to hang out while I'm here".

The same applies for meeting girls in pubs, etc.

stovelid

Unregistered wrote: »

It's a hell of a lot more plausible than saying the majority actually choose it as a preffered profession.

Never said that the majority chose it. I've no problem accepting that a great deal of prostitutes are forced into it, and I abhor it. I'm totally aware that the reality of prostitution is completely coercive for many prostitutes, which why i mentioned pimps, abuse, and coercion.

With respect, i was assuming that the OP is thinking of the sector of prostitution where the accusation of coercion (given the money earned) is a bit harder to level. When somebody enters prostitution completely of their own volition, it's not my concern, even though I have already said it's not my thing and I would personally use a dating site/service in the OP's situation.

Discodog

I was involved with an Escort Agency in England for 2 years. NONE of the girls were coerced & NONE were exploited. Many were just like your next door neighbour or the girl that you meet down the pub with your mates. They were ordinary women who, for personal reasons had decided to go for this job. Many thought that there was little difference in meeting a guy, letting him buy drinks, dinner & then sleeping with him. They all were perfectly able to differentiate between work & a relationship. Most had Bfs or husbands - some knew, others didn't.

There are girls that are exploited, trafficed, & abused but there are a lot who are not. Unfortunately the prehistoric attitude of the public & legislators in Ireland ensure that the pimps & criminals target Ireland as it is very difficult to run a legal safe business here.

PS I attended a Christening a while ago. The mother & I were the only ones who knew the mother's past. She would say that her €1 million Galway house was the result of a job that she enjoyed.

Piste

I think everyone agrees that some women are coerced into prostitution and some choose it to make money, but what the OP has to consider is does he want to risk possibly traumitising some poor girl for the sake of getting his rocks off? That's just totally selfish and abhorrent. He's looking for NSA sex, so obviously that carries risks with it (STIs, pregnancy etc.) so his best bet is probably to find like-minded girls wherever (clubs, internet) and have sex with them (taking all necessary precautions). That way he knows it's their choice and that they're some way attracted to him.

Motley Crue

Unregistered wrote: »

A one night stand is based on attraction, mutual and consentual.

Thats what the OP needs

The Corinthian

Unregistered wrote: »

My career has taken off in the last couple of years and its very intense. I like it though, Im pretty much a workaholic anyway so 18 hour days are fairly standard for me. I also travel alot for the job- one of the reasons Ive been doing so well in my job is that I have made it clear that I will relocate at the drop of a hat, and will be available 24/7/365 so if I get a call at 3 in the morning to go to Asia, America or Europe for the next month(or 6) then Im ready to go.

Regardless of the whole escort debate, you need to slow down. You can still be a workaholic and be willing to work 24/7/365, but 18 hours day as standard are going to give you a burn out (you're not even getting enough sleep with such hours) and then your career will take a nosedive - I've seen this happen.

As for sex - a fsckbuddy relationship is not difficult to find, either on-line or in real life. Don't be lazy and make the time, also because you need to disconnect from work a little bit more anyway.

Unregistered wrote: »

Would you marry a prostitute? The majority of you will say no. Why?

Social conditioning. Leaving aside the issue of criminality and exploitation, most people recoil from prostitution for moral reasons. Much like the thread where a guy freaked out that his girlfriend had managed to sleep with eight guys, we are brought up to believe that certain behaviour is unacceptable, or even taboo.

The topic reminds me of the old Brendan Behan quote; "the only difference between sex for money and sex for free is that the former normally costs less". And in reality, you will still have no problem finding a mate who is looking to get married, settle down, give up their job and have someone else pay for it - the irony of this somehow not being seen as prostitution is nothing new.

So, would you marry a prostitute? There's a fair chance you will.

fashinmad

OP I totally get where youre coming from!
I am a very busy person, dont want the ties and fuss of a relation ship but i miss sex so much it hurts sometimes! I have lots of male friends in work but mixing business and pleasure is a big no no in my book. But what is a gal to do? I think if you want to meet up with an escort for some fun, then off you go! As long as your safe, you have no one to answer too but your self!

kmick

fashinmad wrote: »

..you have no one to answer too but your self!

That may be the problem - I guess deep down the OP feels uncomfortable about the idea. Trust your instincts OP.

hoppo254

Just go and get an escort jeez if your basing your own moral decision on the posters on this site then you really aren't making your own decisions.

Do this: Go and see an escort...Afterwards how do you feel ? There is your answer. If you feel bad then go to church as a good catholic boy and never do it again.

If you don't feel bad then carry on

beth-lou

The Corinthian wrote: »

The topic reminds me of the old Brendan Behan quote; "the only difference between sex for money and sex for free is that the former normally costs less". And in reality, you will still have no problem finding a mate who is looking to get married, settle down, give up their job and have someone else pay for it - the irony of this somehow not being seen as prostitution is nothing new.

So, would you marry a prostitute? There's a fair chance you will.

I find that offensive. What are you trying to say? That all men pay for sex if they are supporting a wife. Because a wife just sits around all day and spends his money? I think that is highly offensive, considering the sacrifices a woman makes when she decides to give up her career to raise her and her husbands family.

OP, I think there is no way of knowing which escorts are there of their own free will and which ones are there under duress. I also think that all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy, and aside from sex, you really should be getting social interaction outside of work. Personally I would be disgusted if my man told me he had used a prostitute. It's a horrible business that leaves the people workingin it with horrible baggage. I think the fact that you are unsure about it in the first place, shows that already you know there is something not quite right about it. If you can guarantee that the lady you pay is doing it simply as a job and isn't under duress then fine. But I on't know how you'd do that.

fashinmad

I would love to have the courage to go and hire a nice hot male escort out for the night!!

The Corinthian

beth-lou wrote: »

I find that offensive. What are you trying to say? That all men pay for sex if they are supporting a wife. Because a wife just sits around all day and spends his money? I think that is highly offensive, considering the sacrifices a woman makes when she decides to give up her career to raise her and her husbands family.

First of all, I did not suggest this to be the case across the board. Why couples decide that it is better for one to stay at home varies greatly.

Secondly, I think you are assuming too much if you believe that a woman who decides to give up her career to raise her and her husbands family is always making a sacrifice. Not all women have terrific careers, and given the option are more than happy to make the 'sacrifice'.

However historically, marriage was sex-for-security. You might be offended by this, but that is where it comes from. That is why men had 'conjugal rights', why non-consummation was (and still is) grounds for annulment and why marital rape was not recognised. As the old expression went "marriage is the price than men pay for sex, sex is the price than women pay for marriage".

Women are far more indipendant and the roles are more equal now, but old habits are hard to break. How attractive is a man who wants to stay at home, let you keep your career, and mind the kids? In reality, most women shy away from such men.

Even in courtship, there are financial transactions; dinners, gifts and so on - but ultimately they are meant to show that the man can afford the woman. He is selling his ability to provide. And even today, there are a minority of women who genuinely believe that they're owed a living the moment a ring is on their finger.

You realistically should not get offended by this. It's just how we're conditioned in society. My principle point is that the moral arguments against prostitution are pretty hypocritical in the face of how society operates.

We're all whores at the end of the day.

Nevyn

Right that is enough espousing from everyone, I am locking this thread until the op gets back to me.