Stupid Quotes A to B

coldfire1x

A
"Outside consultants sought for test of gas chamber."
- Ad in Arizona Republic

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650."
- Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo

"I didn't know Onward Christian Soldiers was a Christian song."
- Aggie Pate, at a non-denominational mayor's breakfast, Fort Worth, Texas

"I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple."
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fundraising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"See the New York Jets play the Cinncinnati Bagels this Sunday on NBC."
- Announcer on WNBC station

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier."
- Anonymous Traffic Report

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."
- Arab News report
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B

"I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing."
- Baby Spice of the Spice Girls

"Most hotels are already booked solid by people, plus 5,000 journalists."
- Bangkok Post

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
- Barbara Boxer, Senator

"City fathers were hoping to raise enough money to erect a new bronze statue of the Duck of Wellington."
- BBC commentator

"I don't think the Republicans can damage my character."
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch."
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. president

"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. president

"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"You guys have to run a little more than full speed out there."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Next up is the Central African Republic located in central Africa."
- Bob Costas, during the parade of nations in the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, Australia

"Life is very important to Americans."
- Bob Dole, U.S. Senator from Kansas

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were
just a lot better than we thought"
- Bobby Robson

"Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."
- British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea.

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something."
- Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college.

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Budapest Zoo sign

rocky25

Superb Stuff Coldfire1x

cool username

Are we supposed to do "c"?
My favourite quote "Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol"- George Bernard Shaw.

Podge2k7

Great:D