The most stupid thing you heard in school?

Raze_them_all

Whats the most stupid thing you heard while you were in school, be it from a fellow pupil or teacher?

The stupidest thing I ever heard was these two guys were playing with matches on break, and ya know the way schools have fire extuingsher's around it, one of them seriously asked how big the flame would go if they sprayed one onto the match

Xavi6

"The Leaving Cert is the be all and end all"

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Xavi6 wrote: »

"The Leaving Cert is the be all and end all"

Haha, and before that it was the inter/junior cert :P

I heard that arnold swachsnegger was pregnant (he was in some film or something)

KnifeWRENCH

My Physics teacher politely asking my (mostly) retarded class to stop messing and pay attention.

Poor, naive woman. Only lasted a year in the job.

hussey

Always wear a condom

Senna

The theory of Creationism.

Crash

Kid in my year who was a bit thick, and misspelt his name when signing a painting from art (Spelt McEvoy McOvey) - when slagged he ran out of the room shouting "ITS HARDER TO SPELL IN PAINTS!!"

He was also the kid who asked myself and a mate what an erection was. He understood what a boner was, but couldnt link the fact that they were the same thing.

Terry

Smoking is bad for you.

javaboy

"I don't care how soon the Leaving Cert is. Religion is just as important a subject as Accounting. Now put away those books and pay attention."

That's the dumbest thing I can remember at the moment.

ThenComesDudley

keenan and kel killed in a car crash,
will smith killed in a car crash,
ant and dec killed in a car crash,

those did the rounds in my school

xOxSinéadxOx

javaboy wrote: »

"I don't care how soon the Leaving Cert is. Religion is just as important a subject as Accounting. Now put away those books and pay attention."

That's the dumbest thing I can remember at the moment.

I hate when I'm not allowed do my homework in religion :mad: dummies

metaoblivia

A girl in my marine biology class when looking at a map of the world: Oh my God! All the oceans of the world are connected!

Same girl, same class. We were taking a true or false test and numer 19 was a freeie - it said, "The answer to this question is false."
Girl: I don't understand number 19
Teacher (incredulous): Um... why?
Girl: I don't know if it's true or false.
Teacher: What does the question say?
Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearian.

Xavi6

ThenComesDudley wrote: »

keenan and kel killed in a car crash,
will smith killed in a car crash,
ant and dec killed in a car crash,

those did the rounds in my school

Lol I seem to remember being told Aqua died in a car crash.

Raze_them_all

Xavi6 wrote: »

Lol I seem to remember being told Aqua died in a car crash.

no we all just wish that

Dave147

Raze_them_all wrote: »

no we all just wish that

To be fair, the lead singer was pretty hot..

smellslikeshoes

metaoblivia wrote: »

A girl in my marine biology class when looking at a map of the world: Oh my God! All the oceans of the world are connected!

Same girl, same class. We were taking a true or false test and numer 19 was a freeie - it said, "The answer to this question is false."
Girl: I don't understand number 19
Teacher (incredulous): Um... why?
Girl: I don't know if it's true or false.
Teacher: What does the question say?
Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearian.

With a question like that I think I'd probably put true too.

slipss

My sixth class teacher (who fancied herself as a scientist that just never got the breaks) telling the class that organs couldn't be transplanted between different races. I told her that she was wrong and she went off on one and kicked me out of the class, good teacher.

nkay1985

That the earth is round. Look around you. Does it look round??? Idiots.

flyton5

usually anything involving religion.....one Fr. Kennedy in a south dublin school found Father Ted offensive and wouldnt let us watch it on trips away....yet he could very easily have been related to Fr. Dougal.....he used 2 ring his mother on the mobile and then pretend he didnt want to be talking to her, throwing his eyes up to heaven....sorry cudnt resist.....actually i wud'v said thats rather disrespectful on his part....the other priest in the school was far older and used to tell us to talk to god at least 20times a day and tell him we love him.....he was an arsehole....

the principal of a previous school used to invite the guards in every halloween to talk to us about the dangers of fireworks....then once he decided to tell us his own story about how some student at a previous school where he worked threw a banger and frightened someone so much he jumped in front of a bus and was killed instantly.....took him about 20mins to stop the laughter....even the guard was in stitches!! :pac:

Dean820

That Richard and Judy were killed in a car crash...

Overheal

"The Secondary colours are Cyan, Magneto and Yellow."

flyton5

a guy in my history class once asked if america had ever had a black president.....still one of the most stupid questions i've ever heard......

another guy asked a guest speaker who was supposedly friends with Bruce Lee before he died if they were still friends.....i seem to remember there being a stunned silence at the retardation of the question from all.....

Saint_Mel

flyton5 wrote: »

a guy in my history class once asked if america had ever had a black president.....still one of the most stupid questions i've ever heard......

another guy asked a guest speaker who was supposedly friends with Bruce Lee before he died if they were still friends.....i seem to remember there being a stunned silence at the retardation of the question from all.....

Thats because he's still alive ... what he did was he faked his own death so that he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police infiltrating drugs gangs and The Triads

flyton5

Saint_Mel wrote: »

Thats because he's still alive ... what he did was he faked his own death so that he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police infiltrating drugs gangs and The Triads

ahhhh yes one of the most famous movie stars in the world at the time faked his own death so he could work 'undercover'.....no chance they'd recognise him.....i believe sir that u might be suggesting that.....ahem.....they all look the same??:D

ordinary_story

flyton5 wrote: »

ahhhh yes one of the most famous movie stars in the world at the time faked his own death so he could work 'undercover'.....no chance they'd recognise him.....i believe sir that u might be suggesting that.....ahem.....they all look the same??:D

What, movie starts all look the same?:eek:

Arnie looks nothing like sylvester stalone

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"We think it's very important for Max to continue with Irish, as he is very weak at the subject and not start a foreign language."

Quint

A guy was asked by the teacher to name the organ that pumped blood around the body. His answer: The Brain. We laughed:D

We convinced some guy that men had periods, and we all had them (boys school!). He went to the toilet and came back to us saying he just had his period - out of his hand!

Varkov

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

"We think it's very important for Max to continue with Irish, as he is very weak at the subject and not start a foreign language."

Look Poo, no one gives a rats ass if you live in fuppin Germany.

And it strikes me more as a slightly below room temperature greyish area.

Jonty

Being told by a nun that there was no need for Protestants and that they got the wrong end of the stick??


Whatever that meant. It sounded stupid at the time.

Starmix

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

rvd156

The school bell....:rolleyes:

lottodrink

Smoking stunts your growth.. Was told that at the age of 14 I was like 5ft im now 21 and 6ft7'...

Miss: "why are you late?"

Student: "well I ran all the way till I came to this sign"

Miss: "what did the sign say?"

Student: "Slow Down"

**LAUGHTER**

One of the funniest school days I ever had lol

RxQueen

One of the guys in class went mitching one day, so the next day he had to hand up a note saying he was sick etc, handed up his note , and the teacher asked him in front of everybody how to spell "John" and got in trouble cause he spelt his fathers name wrong *facepalm* !!

another one .

had a really simple maths teacher God love her! , we were all in class one day and she was just after calming us down, and started going mental at the guy sitting in the front desk , screamed at him" i told you no drinking in class" and kicked him out of the class for it! ...... he was holding his lucozade pencil case in his hand, oh how i laughed!

fannyflaps

Where is the whore house sir?

Hellm0

When I was very young it was the consensus amongst those in the know that women had babies out the "backdoor", knowledge of the other door being limited in availability at the time it did seem a sound assumption.

I was once told I would never achieve anything, needless to say I make more now than that teacher every did.

In fairness I was usually the one saying stupid things though.

blah

"I don't believe that people came from monkeys. Sure if that was true wouldn't monkeys still be turning into people today."

Like as if the theory of evolution means that daily, chimpanzees are falling out of trees, shedding their hair, donning bowler hats and heading off to work in the call centre. :rolleyes:

Zangetsu

"Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearean."


Jaysus, I want to marry her...

meesa

One guy asked "An bhfuil cead agum dul go dti an leitharas"?..or somethin` like that...no one knew what he was askin`.. ...so he p***ed himself.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Varkov wrote: »

Look Poo, no one gives a rats ass if you live in fuppin Germany.

And it strikes me more as a slightly below room temperature greyish area.

Dearest Varkov, it seem there has been a misunderstanding. I was simply replying to a question as to what the most stupid (shouldn't that read "stupidest"?) think I'd heard in school.

That, by a comfortable margin, was it.

I'm not entirely sure how living in Germany comes into it...?

Hellm0

blah wrote: »

"I don't believe that people came from monkeys. Sure if that was true wouldn't monkeys still be turning into people today."

Like as if the theory of evolution means that daily, chimpanzees are falling out of trees, shedding their hair, donning bowler hats and heading off to work in the call centre. :rolleyes:

I saw that happen last week, cept the newly evolved humanzie made his way into the Dail.

punchestown

Starmix wrote: »

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no

blah

Starmix wrote: »

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

punchestown wrote: »

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no

There's no speed limits?

highlydebased

"If you have sex and your underage she will get pregnant and you will be arrested"

or

"Lads, God exists"

Riddle101

Girl in my Irish Class when i was in 6th year: Is the Irish Flag Green, White and Orange?

Girl in my English class who was late for class:
Teacher: Where have you been?
Girl: I was talking to <Insert teacher of the class she walked into's name>
Class: *Laughter*

My Math teacher:
Student No1 to student No2: What are you having for Christmas... Chicken(The student he was slagging was called Chicken because he bottled it when he was supposed to fight someone so we called him a chicken)
Student No2: Shut up you Jew(Student No1 got the nickname Jew because he looked Jewish. I'll make sure you won't celebrate Christmas
Student No1: I don't celebrate Christmas
Me: That's because you're a Jew
Techer: I want to see you after class
Me: Why
Teacher: Because that's racist

I understand why he might have thought it offensive but it was actually true. Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas they celebrate Honakkah, but i guess he didn't understand the meaning of it.

AlmightyCushion

I remember one guy in my class asked me how IRA was spelt. He always asked stupid questions like that. I often wondered how that guy dressed himself in the morning.

pepsi1234

Once when the teacher brought up Silicon Valley one guy put up his and and asked: ''Miss, is Pamela Anderson from Silicon Valley?'' .
Her reaction was hilarious!

punchestown

Garda College, Templemore.

Chief comes in to lecture theatre to welcome new recruits. 'Have we any Dubs with us?' etc repeated for each major county in Ireland and a couple of backwater towns that the chief knew well. Then he asks 'Have we any friends from the north with us?' Cue one hand being raised. 'And what part of the six counties are you from?' he asks the girl with the hand raised sitting not two rows away from him. 'Donegal' she replies!:eek:

zonEEE

1 of the lads strolls in about 15 mins late one day after lunch.

Teacher says where have you been?

aww miss ****ing dragon on pearse road couldn't get passed him.

Teacher : sit down you dope.

2 mins another guy strolls in

again teacher where have you been?

****in dragon on pearse road

she just shakes her head and tells in to sit down.

From that day everyone used that anytime they were late for her class she left a few months later when she had an inspector in (think she was still doing the dip) one of the lads go up to her and says today miss is the day we ruin your career and for the whole class everyone kept shouting out stuff and every time she went to the board everyone changed seats, inspector just sitting there looking shocked.

poisonated

Whenever anyone would ask my spanish teacher a question she would always say "put your hand down it makes me nervous"... strange woman

ergonomics

Our English teacher was absolutely adamant that Atlantic was spelled 'Athlantic'.

Susannahmia

In sixth year the honours history class had a holocaust victim in as a guest speaker. We had a free class later on so one of the teachers that was at the talk was telling our Irish class all about the story the guy had told;

Basically the guy remembered his mother carrying a bundle when boarding a train to Auschwitz, a Nazi Soldier grabbed the bundle and threw it in a bush and made her board the train...that bundle was the speakers little sisters dead body...

Anyways, cue a hushed silence by the whole class...until it was broken by one guy who asked, dead serious: "And was that a TRUE story Miss?"