The most stupid thing you heard in school?

titan18

A guy in my class came in without his homework after a weekend.

Teacher:Why?

Student:I was in the US

Teacher:Oh really, where did u go?

Student : Nova Scotia

(me and a few other laugh)

Teacher: That's in Canada, you idiot

(Whole class laughs)

This was in 6th Year. We were the higher level English class and all of the class were doing higher level in the majority of subjects. It didn't say much for the rest of the class also


The next week, the teacher asked him what he did for the weekend. His reply was "Yore Ma".

AlmightyCushion

Jack Sheehan wrote: »

If you differentiate a cheeseburger what do you get?

Cheeseburger.

Troy mcClure: Partial credit.

cooperguy

Victor wrote: »

And the answer is "no".

Errr I hate to break it to you but that is the colours on the Irish Flag! Do you actually live in Ireland??

Donald-Duck

xbox36016 wrote: »

with a name like Donald-Duck yoou cant speak than

I can quack though

mud

cooperguy wrote: »

Errr I hate to break it to you but that is the colours on the Irish Flag! Do you actually live in Ireland??

pssssst, green, white and gold

redout

Sir, the sun is in my eyes.

No its not, its up in the sky !

In metalwork: Sir, the machine is hot.

No its not I payed for it myself !



Pretty useless. But I laughed.

anonymous_joe

mud wrote: »

pssssst, green, white and gold

Green, white and orange officially is it not...?

Freewheeling Ed

there was a lad in our primary school class who was always telling stories like

"my da fell down the stairs, and landed on his head and bounced back to the top of the stairs"

forget other examples.. but know when we heard this, no one bothered to say anything..

mud

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Green, white and orange officially is it not...?

my bad, obviously listening to too many rebel songs!!

anonymous_joe

mud wrote: »

my bad, obviously listening to too many rebel songs!!

I think the orange is for the Protestant community, to indicate peace between the two. Not certain now, but that's what I thought.

Tropheus

Duran Duran died in a car crash.

My initial joy was soon turned to depression:(

Kipperhell

I remember a teacher asking for an explanation for an equation and the response was " An optical illusion?"

TPD

My physics teacher asked a student if they could see air (that invisible stuff) getting into a belljar (transparent, no so much as air though), which was meant to have a vaccum in it.

She also crossed wires, and when told that she had crossed wires, carried on the experiment thinking that it didnt matter where the electricity went.

blue-army

"Who's Barack Obama?" - a 6th Year on US Election Day.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Kipperhell wrote: »

I remember a teacher asking for an explanation for an equation and the response was " An optical illusion?"

That's what I say to bouncers when they tell me to move at about 2 AM. I'm an optical illusion, shhh!!!

LightningBolt

5T3PH3N wrote: »

In J.C french we were learning the names of sports, the teacher was writing them on the board and she would tell us 1 by 1 how to pronounce them and little ways of remembering them. After she wrote: Basketball-Basket, she turned and said it's the same at Basketball but without the ball.
Student: "but how do they play basketball without the ball"

Then there was the Religion teacher who would always say he was goin to get the principle because of our behaviour and storm out of the room, only to return 10mins later wit a cup of tea. He did this nearly every class and never came back with anyone. Then one day we locked him out of his room and from then on we were on class report with the yearhead and principle paying us a visit nearly every day:)

Edit: And then there was the history teacher that used to call out notes for us to write down and she insisted on spelling nearly every word with more than 4 letters in it, and also telling us when to put in full stops/comma's. One day she was calling out a sentence and an the end she said "full stop". I asked her how do you spell full stop and she started spelling it and i pretended to write it down until every1 burst out laughing. Then i got in ****:)

Pobalscoil Iosolde by any chance?

jen_23

caught talking in class (asking about maths).

Miss : Stop talking or you'l be doing foundation level.
me : Won't be doing foundation level miss.
Miss: You will
Me: No I can choose to do what I want I can go up to higher on the day if I want.
Miss: No you can't you'l be doing foundation level.
Me: no I wont.
Miss: Get out.........

Hated that teacher. She was the most boring maths teacher who could not actually get her point across ever. It was only in college I began to understand it :rolleyes:

foxy06

Friend told me in school if you give a boy a bj you have the baby out your mouth.............Anyone confirm???:pac:

RichTea

Fishie wrote: »

Oh and I forgot to mention -

Rebecca from Home and Away was killed in a car crash
The Scatman died from a drug overdose

There were tonnes of them. Most of them in car crashes I seem to remember.


Daftest one was Johnny Knoxville dying after jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

Steve-O from Jackass was meant to have died as well.

What was the story with all of these rumours?

jen_23

foxy06 wrote: »

Friend told me in school if you give a boy a bj you have the baby out your mouth.............Anyone confirm???:pac:

oh yes definitly I've seen it :P

RAFC

foxy06 wrote: »

Friend told me in school if you give a boy a bj you have the baby out your mouth.............Anyone confirm???:pac:

I think that one is a myth. We were told (by a nun) that to sit on a boys lap or a bus seat that a boy had just vacated would result in us getting pregnant - her prevention cure was to bring a TELEPHONE DIRECTORY or a sheet of brown paper to sit on for protection

5T3PH3N

LightningBolt wrote: »

Pobalscoil Iosolde by any chance?

Nope, Coolmine in Clonsilla. Which part made you think that?

Oh and prob the most stupid thing we were told was that we would be getting a new school built this summer (told this every year) and then on in my last yr there we only got new toilets, while the rest of the school was falling apart and leaking in averywhere.

Donny5

mud wrote: »

pssssst, green, white and gold

Article 7, Bunreacht na hÉireann: ‘The national flag is the tricolour of green, white and orange’

BroomBurner

Oh, there was one poor guy in primary school who was always coming out with gems.

One was that his dad's job involved shooting (canon-style) people's dead bodies up in to space so that they get to heaven.

Another time he tried to tell the teacher of a short-cut from Dundrum to Bray through Enniskillen. The teacher sent him out of the room.

Donald-Duck

jen_23 wrote: »

caught talking in class (asking about maths).

Miss : Stop talking or you'l be doing foundation level.
me : Won't be doing foundation level miss.
Miss: You will
Me: No I can choose to do what I want I can go up to higher on the day if I want.
Miss: No you can't you'l be doing foundation level.
Me: no I wont.
Miss: Get out.........

Hated that teacher. She was the most boring maths teacher who could not actually get her point across ever. It was only in college I began to understand it :rolleyes:

Did you do foundation level?

Degag

Best one i can remember was when i was sitting next to this really thick guy one day in science... he was a nice guy but... thick... Anyway the science teacher asked him what *random thing in her hand* was... This guy was stuck, had no idea... for the craic i whispered to him that it was a calgon tablet.... I couldn't believe it when he sat up proud as punch and said " Its a calgon tablet miss!" I knew he was thick but not that thick!!!

What was worse the teacher knew i had told him...and just gave me a look as if to say "will you ever leave him alone!" Good Times.

jen_23

Donald-Duck wrote: »

Did you do foundation level?

Nope totally proved her wrong got a B too

Zwillinge

5T3PH3N wrote: »

Nope, Coolmine in Clonsilla. Which part made you think that?

Oh and prob the most stupid thing we were told was that we would be getting a new school built this summer (told this every year) and then on in my last yr there we only got new toilets, while the rest of the school was falling apart and leaking in averywhere.

I did an adult class over the past ten weeks there. Was amazed they actually had the fabled new toilets :pac: We were hearing that one for years! Though more people wanted a larger bike shed

Tea-a-Maria

In Leaving Cert history one day a lad asked what the KKK stood for.He then proceeded to spell it with C's.

cooperguy

mud wrote: »

pssssst, green, white and gold

anonymous_joe wrote: »

I think the orange is for the Protestant community, to indicate peace between the two. Not certain now, but that's what I thought.

Green for the nationalist Irish, Orange for the protestant orangemen and white signifying peace between the two

keefg

I remember being told on many occasion that "Your school days are the happiest days of your life"

What b0ll0cks!! :mad:

I hated school.

Ckal

keefg wrote: »

I remember being told on many occasion that "Your school days are the happiest days of your life"

What b0ll0cks!! :mad:

I hated school.

The happiest day of my life was when I finished school.

colly10

When doing the maths in the mocks a lad near me shouts out -

"X, what the **** is X?"

I think the paper said something like -

Solve for x,
x / 5 = 5

Pigwidgeon

in religion one day this year

"like i'm not racist, i like black people"

AlmightyCushion

colly10 wrote: »

When doing the maths in the mocks a lad near me shouts out -

"X, what the **** is X?"

I think the paper said something like -

What a retard. It's obviously a letter.

Ckal

kateos2 wrote: »

in religion one day this year

"like i'm not racist, i like black people"

That really pisses me off. There's more than one other race out there! :mad:

LightningBolt

5T3PH3N wrote: »

Nope, Coolmine in Clonsilla. Which part made you think that?

Just the teacher spelling every word and would tell us . , ; etc. Was annoying!

neil_hosey

we convinced a guy in our class that the clitoris was in the ear.. then fixed an argument so that he was arguing it was in the ear.. we then got him to ask our science teacher "isnt the clitoris in the ear"

Possibly one of the funniest moments in my life.

tony1kenobi

Quint wrote: »

We convinced some guy that men had periods, and we all had them (boys school!). He went to the toilet and came back to us saying he just had his period - out of his hand!

You went to school in South Park?

Diamond007

That the Leaving Cert was the hardest exams we'd ever dace...

Eh, what a big fat lie!! College exams :mad:

Fletch123

That the temperature method was the most effective form of contraception... from the female teacher with 6 kids...

Riddle101

neil_hosey wrote: »

we convinced a guy in our class that the clitoris was in the ear.. then fixed an argument so that he was arguing it was in the ear.. we then got him to ask our science teacher "isnt the clitoris in the ear"

Possibly one of the funniest moments in my life.

Where are you Clitoris? Quoted from Rowen Atkinson

Michellenman

5T3PH3N wrote: »

In J.C french we were learning the names of sports, the teacher was writing them on the board and she would tell us 1 by 1 how to pronounce them and little ways of remembering them. After she wrote: Basketball-Basket, she turned and said it's the same at Basketball but without the ball.
Student: "but how do they play basketball without the ball"

Then there was the Religion teacher who would always say he was goin to get the principle because of our behaviour and storm out of the room, only to return 10mins later wit a cup of tea. He did this nearly every class and never came back with anyone. Then one day we locked him out of his room and from then on we were on class report with the yearhead and principle paying us a visit nearly every day:)

Edit: And then there was the history teacher that used to call out notes for us to write down and she insisted on spelling nearly every word with more than 4 letters in it, and also telling us when to put in full stops/comma's. One day she was calling out a sentence and an the end she said "full stop". I asked her how do you spell full stop and she started spelling it and i pretended to write it down until every1 burst out laughing. Then i got in ****:)

Haha, I know these teachers!

Nolanger

Most teachers are conservative idiots incapable of questioning the world around them.
Those who can do - those who can't ...

Ross_Mahon

Sex Education teacher in primary school insisted that women didn't orgasm.

I really feel sorry for that man's wife...

nobodythere

The literal interpretation of the bible.

Or should I say the literal interpretation of the mistranslation of the bible.

No **** it the first one was fine

S.I.R

the only stupid thing i was ever thought in school was that chuck norris is infact just a normal person...









pfff



IDIOTS !! :rolleyes:

Shinjuku

Meself and the biyez were walking around town at lunchtime and we saw a knife on the ground, so one of the biyez picked it up. Then I said "jesus don't pick that up, it could have been used by a mass murderer!!!". So my friend dropped the knife on the ground and said "sh!t better get rid of the finger prints" and he started cleaning his hands.... stooooopid.

Sam Vimes

that i wasn't capable of honours maths. I dropped to pass and by the time i decided i could do it i'd missed too much to go back up

I went on to get first class honours in an electronic engineering degree involving maths far beyond anything in the LC (after doing a cert course first because engineering degrees require honours maths) and that catch you next tuesday stopped teaching and became the guidance counciller's assistant because she realised she was a **** teacher


Edit:i dropped to pass because i hadn't a clue what was going on in the class. Turns out no one had a clue because she was ****

AFC_1903

Drugs are bad - if you smoke cannabis you'll never make anything of yourself!

:eek: