The most stupid thing you heard in school?

CianRyan

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Maybe she was making a clever political point about the Catalans?

She thought we were going to England. :rolleyes:

chachabinx

My friend rang me just after we finished school and said "Mrs Murphy's dead" and I replied... "oh my god is she alright?"

We were little brats in school... we had like sticky putty stuff & kept throwing it on the roof in class & laughing when it eventually came down..
Then one time it didn't come down & our teacher walked over & looked & said
"oh my god somebody put tomato soup on the roof (it was illuminous orange)!

Then one time in geography our teacher asked what its called when a river is erroded (its deposition)!
And one of the girls put up her hand & shouted "DISCHARGE"

We also tormented our computer teacher by sending her love letters through the printer in the computer room & she could never tell where they were coming from.. things like "I love you miss" and "looking sexy today miss"!

tooler08

A lad in my maths class asked the teacher if you can 'tell the truth while your lying in bed':D

Ourlad

One morning break someone let one rip. Got the usual 'ah thats rotten' and 'who's after farting' but someone said 'jaysus thats a really eggy one'. To which someone said,

'Cant be me lads i had cornflakes for breakfast this morning'. :rolleyes:

orourkeda

That the leaving cert is really important

Snowie

dont point a people youle get into trouble.

dyl10

I once had an argument with two people in school, who were trying to claim that the Simpsons, as a cartoon, came out in our parent's generation(1970s).
To all onlookers, I came off looking the stupid one, claiming that it was only 10 years old.

giggsy664

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Most teachers are like most other people, except they are constrained by the curiculum and by the ethos of the school in which they teach. They aren't supposed to give too personal an opinion or follow personal agenda's.

For example, an atheist teaching in a Catholic school would be very brave to mention his/her lack of belief. It would be equally unpopular, I would imagine, to promote Evolution as opposed to Creationism in a Muslim school.

My first year religion teacher was an atheist

and I was in a catholic school

Dankoozy

chachabinx wrote: »

We also tormented our computer teacher by sending her love letters through the printer in the computer room & she could never tell where they were coming from.. things like "I love you miss" and "looking sexy today miss"!

excellent

MizzLolly

Raze_them_all wrote: »

The stupidest thing I ever heard was these two guys were playing with matches on break, and ya know the way schools have fire extuingsher's around it, one of them seriously asked how big the flame would go if they sprayed one onto the match

Yeah but you went to a stupid school!

Leftyflip

My science teacher after flooding the lab (water came from the store room).
"Who left the taps on?!?!"

Nettie

While in the cantien que one day I overheard two first years having a conversation. This was about a year ago. One of them commented that the price of wedges had gone up by €0.40 or something. The other replied ''Yeahh! Sure haven't you heard there's a renaissance going on!''...I presume she meant to say ''Recession''.

Raze_them_all

MizzLolly wrote: »

Yeah but you went to a stupid school!

Aye my art class even had a stupid corner for pupils!!

citizen_p

if you stretch out the veins in your body itll go around the world.....
sure the worlds miles away


ohh and another time somone got their nipple pierced and shouting in a packed class room asking if she actully did it...(same guy as above) said then "yea... i got my balls pierced when i was pissed but dont tell anyobdy"

i seen in PE :eek: so he wasnt lying....didnt ask...but he had a habit of taking out his left nut.....in the corriders...outside and in public...

used to pull out his balls in class for laughs....

he was a bit gay me thinks

DublinWriter

"These will be the happiest days of your life"

nams

"isn't Asia in Africa?"



apparently, it's not.

MmmmmCheese

Girl in geography class: Does sand grow?
Teacher: *shocked* W-what??
Girl: You know if you put it in a flower pot would it like, grow?

lendrew1

I asked a lad in my class if the new computers in the school had Windows, he replied "yeah, they're flatscreens" in a pure serious voice! I laughed in his face for 5 minutes and he didn't cop on!

MizzLolly

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Aye my art class even had a stupid corner for pupils!!

Hahaha I know

AfterDusk

"Gerry, have you got a key for my room? I locked mine in there earlier on"

khmk

Dogs can't look up..

civis_liberalis

Terrell Sour Sandal wrote: »

I heard that arnold swachsnegger was pregnant (he was in some film or something)

My class were always the class that were left out when it came to trips. We ended up getting 2 trips in the end.

The first one, a priest teaching in the school hijacked, to bring us to Knock...

The second was to bring us to the cinema. Straight there and straight back, not aloud to get popcorn or anything, just herded in and out.

What was the film? JUNIOR. :mad:

civis_liberalis

Starmix wrote: »

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

No, no.... No, no, no, no... No, no, no, no... Didn't happen!

(Unfortunately)

[Gets coat]

civis_liberalis

A teacher I had in second class, who has since been warmed by the fires of hell, used to come out with some ridiculous things. He was more cruel than stupid, but when I maintained that something he said was incorrect he lost the block. Made us repeat the thing that I disputed for half the lunch-break.

I have evidence to prove I was right (in the attic somewhere) in a copybook I had to write down what he said a million times (may not be exact). It was something to do with weight of solid objects as opposed to liquids... (Sorry for bringing it up with being able to explain what was so stupid about it!)

I wasn't a smart-arse in his class ever. You just didn't, but what he was saying was so ridiculous I had to make my reservations known. Hated me after that, not that you could tell the difference between his attitude towards me and anyone else.

He was passed around between schools over the years as far as I know. Seems that he had knowledge of a skeleton in the school head's cupboard, so he was always backed-up in arguments with parents. When I was in his class, a group of our parents tried to have him removed, but failed due to him and the principal driving around to everyone's house and "diffusing" the situation. He copped on for a few weeks, but was back to old tricks again pretty soon.

When my brother came along 4 years later, the teacher had the misfortune of crossing the path of a much better organised group of parents. Was out the next day and never taught again.

Another stupid thing he told me (as Gaeilge) was that "You'll never amount to anything" and "You'll never amount to anything if you can't solo the ball properly..."

Not being able to solo the ball properly doesn't stop half the local GAA team, ironically enough.

civis_liberalis

Repeated by many student at my school...

"If your hand fits over your face, you have cancer."

civis_liberalis

It was into the new millennium until I realised Tupac was actually dead.

I was in 6th class when it happened and me being smarter than all the fools in my class, I knew it wasn't true...

Nolanger

You'll be married within 10 years!

scubakid

I might lose my job but I'l still hit you, you little Bo**ox

And that was only 5 years ago

Pygmalion

civis_liberalis wrote: »

Repeated by many student at my school...

"If your hand fits over your face, you have cancer."

In my school they said that, then when you put your hand up to your face they'd push it, smashing your hand into your face.

So clearly someone in your school missed out on the punchline and it spread.

whatduck

Biology teacher talking about recreational drugs to her rather middle-class 5th year students:

"I'm sure most of you must have tried heroin"

MultiUmm

This really thick fella in my history class once answered the question of "Who helped organize the 1916 rising?" by answering "Oliver Cromwell!" Seriously, how the fúck could anyone mistake Cromwell for organizing the rising?

Also, it's a bit more irritating then annoying, but that same history teacher keeps pronouncing Westminster Westminister.

Another thing was a former maths teacher of mine telling my mam that the 1st year exams are almost as important as the Leaving Cert. And my mam believed it.
Oh teh lulz.

Groe

Geography Teacher: Why is water much more efficient than fossil fuels?
Student: I'm not sure Sir.
Geography Teacher: Well if fossil fuels can only be used once, how many times can water be used?
Student:...Once...NOO Twice.

candy-gal1

Pygmalion wrote: »

In my school they said that, then when you put your hand up to your face they'd push it, smashing your hand into your face.

So clearly someone in your school missed out on the punchline and it spread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Cf2pFfnq4

hacx

Religion class:
"But miss, isn't god just, like, bacteria?"

jiltloop

I remember a rumour going around that Scatman died from an overdose on ecstacy, oh how I laughed at the image in my head.

dotzy

my science teacher quotes:

methane...it has a bit of a threesome going on there
theres alot of that bondage stuff going on with sucrose
a sperm, swims up the fallopain tube, just like a lil fish up the amazon

mikemac

"If you check which wrist someone wore their watch on you could tell their if they were straight or not."

I'm left-handed and wore my watch on my right wrist. I can't explain why, just felt normal to me.
Oh the homosexuality jokes I endured :mad:

To this day I don't wear a watch. I got my first mobile phone in 1999 and haven't worn a watch since, my mobile will show the time or nowadays an ipod does.

And when I watch films I can't help but notice actors and their watches and the men always wear it on their left!
It's stupid to be looking out for this, it's just something I do

Daemos

God, there were so many idiots in my school I don't know where to start :rolleyes:

One guy mitched from school one day, came in the next day with a fake note explaining why... but the plonker signed his own name

Me (watching a group of lads playing soccer): What's the score?
Other guy: Two all
Me: Who's winning?

"Miss, you know all the quotes we marked in our book to learn? How many do we have to know?"

Pygmalion

jiltloop wrote: »

I remember a rumour going around that Scatman died from an overdose on ecstacy, oh how I laughed at the image in my head.

Scatman was an alcoholic and a drug addict for many years. So the image of his dying of a drug overdose shouldn't be that crazy.

Yes, it didn't happen, but it easily could have, I think he only decided to quit using when a friend of his (also a drug addict) died.

ei.sdraob

"The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the two shorter sides"

Missiechan

When I was in first class and the teacher told us to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up, I said I wanted to be an archaeologist. She couldn't spell that word, so she told me to write down 'hairdresser'.

callaway92

y-y1=m(x-x1)

jiltloop

callaway92 wrote: »

y-y1=m(x-x1)

Well it depends on the slope really doesn't it.

jiltloop

Pygmalion wrote: »

Scatman was an alcoholic and a drug addict for many years. So the image of his dying of a drug overdose shouldn't be that crazy.

Yes, it didn't happen, but it easily could have, I think he only decided to quit using when a friend of his (also a drug addict) died.

Its not the image of him dying from a drug OD that I found funny (I'm not that macabre!). It was the image of him doing ecstacy and performing his songs that I found funny.

LittleKitty

i will never forget this as long as i live....

teacher: ok, so then what dose the thyroid stimulating hormone do?
student: eh...somthing with the brain...i dont know.
teacher: think about it....thyroid stimulating hormone.
student: eh...
(this contiuned on for about 10 minutes, until the teacher got so stressed with the dimness of the girl, that she screamed...)
teacher: IT STIMULATES THE THYROID!


tbh, i never thought anyone could be so stupid, thats like asking sombody what a nail clippers dose and they didnt know.

hacx

Girl was talking on phone for 9 hours
ear starts to bleed
puts phone to other ear
Ear starts bleeding in class

Emmsy

Biology - The Reproduction Chapters

'Sir, sir, ya know if you're pregnant, and you have sex while you're pregnant, can ya get pregnant like aswell - with two babies?'

khmk

The Gerry Ryan show on my walkman during a free class

Time Magazine

Victor wrote: »

And the answer is "no".

It is.

Article 7.

watna

Emmsy wrote: »

Biology - The Reproduction Chapters

'Sir, sir, ya know if you're pregnant, and you have sex while you're pregnant, can ya get pregnant like aswell - with two babies?'

Actually, you can. There was an article on the news here the other day. A woman conceived babies 3 weeks apart. She had a period in between conceiving the first and second. It's weird but can happen!