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The Toilet Seat: Could someone set my mind at ease?

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    #62
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,459 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Just get Turkish toilets installed - no more arguments and improved quads all round.


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    #63
    BaconZombie
    Registered Users Posts: 8,813 ✭✭✭BaconZombie


    This is why you should always check before going.....

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RmBQarrygY


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    #64
    sillysasauge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 166 ✭✭sillysasauge


    BOFH_139 wrote: »
    This is why you should always check before going.....

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RmBQarrygY


    Oh me heart, I nearly had a seizure!!! hehehe omg, what a clip!!!


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    #65
    Silenceisbliss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭Silenceisbliss


    haha, lol... he got raped by a goblin


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    #66
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Jeesh, is this stuff still going on?

    Went into Woodies yestersday and pissed all over seat, left fookin puddles 2 to 3 cms deep and didn't give a bollix.

    Just wipe the fcuker when you come in missus.


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    #67
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    sharpshooterH wrote: »
    I can't help it if l was on a roll last night.

    Jesus, it's like you can't help yourself.


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    #68
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Jessie Poor Meteoroid wrote: »
    Jesus, it's like you can't help yourself.

    Ah be nice Jessie Poor Meteoroid. She tried her best but just couldn't keep them bottled up. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.


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    #69
    scruttocks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 114 ✭✭scruttocks


    It's for the convenience of the next user, male or female.

    Assume a 1:1 m:f distribution.

    Women need the seat down 100% of the time, whereas men, we'll assume for argument's sake, need it down 25% of the time.

    So distributing the percentages over the people likely to use it, you find that leaving the seat down is useful to the next toilet user 62.5% of the time. It's just BEING SOUND


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    #70
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    javaboy wrote: »
    Ah be nice Frada. She tried her best but just couldn't keep them bottled up. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

    I am nice! I laughed hysterically when I heard she failed!* And what's nicer than laughter?





    *Not really, I actually think she did quite well considering her skills at punning.


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    #71
    Thomas_S_Hunterson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,151 ✭✭✭Thomas_S_Hunterson


    scruttocks wrote: »
    It's for the convenience of the next user, male or female.

    Assume a 1:1 m:f distribution.

    Women need the seat down 100% of the time, whereas men, we'll assume for argument's sake, need it down 25% of the time.

    So distributing the percentages over the people likely to use it, you find that leaving the seat down is useful to the next toilet user 62.5% of the time. It's just BEING SOUND

    Personally I think a fairer and more logical goal to strive to would be the equal division of labour.


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    #72
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Jessie Poor Meteoroid wrote: »
    Jesus, it's like you can't help yourself.

    True.:o

    But I thought he would have been good enough toilet me off.:p



    "Message to self"
    "Don't drink wine and post, and then wine about it later";)


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    #73
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Jessie Poor Meteoroid wrote: »
    I am nice! I laughed hysterically when I heard she failed!* And what's nicer than laughter?

    Children's tears?

    *Not really, I actually think she did quite well considering her skills at punning.[/QUOTE]

    I was asking a little bit much of her I suppose.


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    #74
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    sharpshooterH wrote: »
    True.

    But I thought he would have been good enough toilet me off.:P

    Go on get them all out of your cistern.* It was unfair to ask you to keep a lid on the puns.
    "Message to self"
    "Don't drink wine and post, and then wine about it later";)

    Aw that one was so bad you can hear the chorus of booze.



    *Yeah I used it before but that was ages ago.:o


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    #75
    JimmyCrackCorn!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 752 ✭✭✭JimmyCrackCorn!


    I just pee on the seat to keep everyone happy :D


    What is the STD can pick up off a toilet seat again?
    Ogh wait CRABS!


    BTW piss is sterile.

    Id be more worried about people who go for a poo don't wash their hands then use the door handle.
    They probably leave the seat down two.;)


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    #76
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    javaboy wrote: »
    Aw that one was so bad you can hear the chorus of booze.

    Aw put a cork in it, she's out of practise.


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    #77
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    javaboy wrote: »
    Go on get them all out of your cistern.* It was unfair to ask you to keep a lid on the puns.



    Aw that one was so bad you can hear the chorus of booze.



    *Yeah I used it before but that was ages ago.:o

    That wasn't a pun.:(

    It was true.
    A whole bottle of white wine.:eek:
    Sorry for failing the challenge.:o


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    #78
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    sharpshooterH wrote: »
    Sorry for failing the challenge.:o

    Don't apologise to me. Apologise to the sick children.


    Emotional shot to the gut. KAPOW!:D


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    #79
    InkSlinger67
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,756 ✭✭✭InkSlinger67


    Seat up or seat down, it doesn't matter - it is still one of the most hygienically safe surfaces in your home right now - I think Mythbusters have proven this!

    It is definitely the most wiped area of any regular home. I think the real question here is why people leave the toilet in a state which they wouldn't like to find it in themselves?

    Lads, if you were touching cloth in a bad way and stumbled in from the pub, ran (as best you could with a turtle's head appearing ) into the toilet to find pish all over d'place would you like it?

    Before you say it, yes I am the only man in my household who wipes after a stand-up - only when I get a bout of piss shivers! Brrrrrrr!


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    #80
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Take the puns and chat and chat about puns elsewhere please.


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    #81
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    AlmightyCushion wrote: »
    Just look at the toilet when you're sitting down. It's not a hard concept to grasp. We somehow manage to do it when we take a dump. How do you not even see it's up on your way to the toilet. Do you walk backwards, squatting over with your ass hanging out or something?

    Ahem, I have a penis (and 2 balls). I am just giving what I know to be the reason!!!!:D:D Ya bollix!!!!


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    #82
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,078 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    minidazzler wrote: »
    Ahem, I have a penis (and 2 balls). I am just giving what I know to be the reason!!!!:D:D Ya bollix!!!!
    You clearly listened to a woman to get that answer so therefore you are not a man.


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    #83
    Berty
    Registered Users Posts: 26,149 ✭✭✭✭Berty


    When women sit down and have a wee their wee splashes back up on their ass cheeks.

    When "some" men piss they aim directly into the water and do not get much spray back.

    When "some" men piss they aim against the side walls and get different sprays in different directions depending on where on the toilet they aim.

    I do not lift the seat(not lid) because its disgusting to touch even considering washing your hands afterwards.

    I wipe the seat if necessary afterwards, I wipe the seat beforehands before sitting down also.

    We all spray, women are worse because they spray on themselves due to splashing.


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    #84
    Stones85
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭Stones85


    I'm a tall guy and it annoys me at how low and close to the ground some toilets are, wtf like? How do I piss proper in that?:p Toilets design is sizest.


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    #85
    Stones85
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭Stones85


    JohnCleary wrote: »
    I use one of my feet to put it up, and again to put it down - But I suck at soccer :pac:


    LOL I do the same in public loo's


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    #86
    rubadub
    Registered Users Posts: 32,381 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    scruttocks wrote: »
    Women need the seat down 100% of the time, whereas men, we'll assume for argument's sake, need it down 25% of the time.
    Not 100% of women, what about "hoverers", and seat squatters. I remember cleaning women on gerry ryan years back moaning that women generally left the toilets in a worse state than men, I was very surprised to hear it. Said they would fight over who got to clean which in the same place (i.e. it was not just some dodgy pub, in the same building the womens was usually worse). They were sticking used sanitary towels on the wall and all sorts. And would have to clean feet marks off the toilet bowl, i.e. they lifted the seat and stood on it and squatted for a piss or dump.

    So if you see a girl in a niteclub with flat shoes she is a supect seat squatter. I expect the drunk stumbling "hoverers" who do not lift the seat could leave it well worse than a guy.
    I'm a tall guy and it annoys me at how low and close to the ground some toilets are, wtf like?
    Check your spam box, you can get pills that will stick an extra 8 inches on overnight.


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