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funniest chat up lines ever used on you?

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    #32
    line_of_fire
    Registered Users Posts: 116 ✭✭line_of_fire


    funniest one i have heard in a while is" you have lovely legs what time do they open at?"


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    #33
    Dublin_Andy
    Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭Dublin_Andy


    i was in copper face jacks during the summer and this northern ireland girl came up to me at the bar and she says...

    nice shoes...wanna f**k?? :pac:

    i thought that was a line guys would only use... obviously not :D


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    #34
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Dublin_Andy wrote: »
    i was in copper face jacks during the summer and this northern ireland girl came up to me at the bar and she says...

    nice shoes...wanna f**k?? :pac:

    i thought that was a line guys would only use... obviously not :D

    As if a man would ever say "nice shoes." :rolleyes:


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    #35
    litup
    Registered Users Posts: 361 ✭✭litup


    Him - 'Are you wearing those fake eyelash things?'

    Me - 'No, they are real'

    Him - 'No way, the can't be.'

    Me - 'Really, I'm not wearing fake ones'

    Him - 'Show me'

    Que me closing my eyes to show him. Que him planting one on the lips while my eyes are closed!

    Made me laugh!


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    #36
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    litup wrote: »
    Him - 'Are you wearing those fake eyelash things?'

    Me - 'No, they are real'

    Him - 'No way, the can't be.'

    Me - 'Really, I'm not wearing fake ones'

    Him - 'Show me'

    Que me closing my eyes to show him. Que him planting one on the lips while my eyes are closed!

    Made me laugh!

    I think that one's cute!


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    #37
    patrickSTARR
    Registered Users Posts: 961 ✭✭✭patrickSTARR


    thats face rape


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    #38
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Sigh....reported.


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    #39
    patrickSTARR
    Registered Users Posts: 961 ✭✭✭patrickSTARR


    tell me ur having a laugh


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    #40
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    strangest i ever got was. "hey you getting on that bike" me "what" her "i live near the harley shop.ya wanna come back to mine"
    I think i was supposed to find it amazing she lived by a bloody hardly davidson shop. Worked though lol


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    #41
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    patrickSTARR wrote: »
    tell me ur having a laugh

    Probably not see post 7 of the charter.

    I can't remember any chat up lines :(


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    #42
    patrickSTARR
    Registered Users Posts: 961 ✭✭✭patrickSTARR


    face rape is a slang term for being kissed and not wanting to be kissed! its nothing to do with actual rape, jesus, i didnt mean any offence but cleary it been caused!


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    #43
    coffey-16
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭coffey-16


    "youd make a good parking ticket because youve got fine written all over ya"

    "are you a library book because im checking you out"


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    #44
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,133 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    my house is not far from here. my house also has a room. that room also has a bed. wanna have sex?


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    #45
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    cherryghost wrote: »
    my house is not far from here. my house also has a room. that room also has a bed. wanna have sex?

    Did someone actually say that to you??


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    #46
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,133 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Did someone actually say that to you??

    yep. was quite scary actually. drink can make people say the strangest things... :confused:


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    #47
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    cherryghost wrote: »
    yep. was quite scary actually. drink can make people say the strangest things... :confused:

    Eew!! Drinks and general creepiness, I suppose.


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    #48
    banshee_bones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,160 ✭✭✭✭banshee_bones


    recently, as in the past 4 weeks, me and my friend got the exact same line (?) like from two a small group of lads at two different ends of the country1

    'you two look like the soundest girls in here'

    then after some polite chit chat we were told that we actually WERE THEE two soundest girls in the place.


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    #49
    Frogdog
    Registered Users Posts: 983 ✭✭✭Frogdog


    I've two good ones I use, they always get a laugh out of girls. I don't think chat up lines are designed for the person to get a score, more to break the ice and get a laugh.

    1.
    Me: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a horn?
    Girl: Dunno.
    Me: I don't have a Ferrari.

    2.
    Me: What winks and has sex like a tiger?
    Girl: Dunno.
    Me: *winks*


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    #50
    LolaDub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭LolaDub


    Guy: I'm Fred Flinstone
    Me : /looking for nearest exit
    Guy : I can make your bed rock
    Me : /leaves to rip the p!ss out of the guy with my friends

    I had another one where a guy told me i was an aphrodisiac and he would be thinking of me when he had sex later but as that wasn't fair to another girl it should be me he would be having sex with-and he actually expected me to swoon????:rolleyes:


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    #51
    homerun_homer
    Registered Users Posts: 7,025 ✭✭✭homerun_homer


    LolaDub wrote: »
    Guy: I'm Fred Flinstone
    Me : /looking for nearest exit
    Guy : I can make your bed rock
    Me : /leaves to rip the p!ss out of the guy with my friends

    I had another one where a guy told me i was an aphrodisiac and he would be thinking of me when he had sex later but as that wasn't fair to another girl it should be me he would be having sex with-and he actually expected me to swoon????:rolleyes:

    Wow..he's such a charmer. How can you refuse:pac:
    Thankfully I don't use chat up lines. It'd make the hangover worse thinking how cheesey the lines you used the night before were.


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    #52
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    ''If we get married tomorrow, can we start a family tonight?''

    Didn't work.


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    #53
    niallo27
    Registered Users Posts: 16,023 ✭✭✭✭niallo27


    "Hi the name is Patt with a double T."

    "whats the double T for"

    "Party all the time"


    Surprisingly it does not work all the time


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    #54
    likely_lass
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭likely_lass


    chatting normally then he says "so were gona kiss tonight yeah?" awkward silence me "maybe" he had confidence anyway


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    #55
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Back in my younger days, I was chatting to a mate in a club wen a girl walks over and grabs my crotch without saying a word.

    I think that was the most direct chat up line I've had... well that I can remember!


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    #56
    BaRcOe
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭BaRcOe


    "I'm really wired...how about I take you home and eat your pussy"

    I saw this in a scene of a movie once haha


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    #57
    BaRcOe
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭BaRcOe


    litup wrote: »
    Him - 'Are you wearing those fake eyelash things?'

    Me - 'No, they are real'

    Him - 'No way, the can't be.'

    Me - 'Really, I'm not wearing fake ones'

    Him - 'Show me'

    Que me closing my eyes to show him. Que him planting one on the lips while my eyes are closed!

    Made me laugh!

    thats one of the better ones although what happens if they are fake ones?

    She: " Eh yeah " *She Runs in to the toilet to adjust it*

    Crash and burn!!

    The only way it would work is if you were sure she wasnt wearin fake ones.
    I do like it though!


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    #58
    Parsley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Parsley


    BaRcOe wrote: »
    "I'm really wired...how about I take you home and eat your pussy"

    I saw this in a scene of a movie once haha

    Seen that, the clip's on YouTube. It worked, if i recall correctly. :pac:


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    #59
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    "you're 12?! hey lets make that 16, that be OUR little secret ;) wanna sit beside me?..."

    que 12 year old spin walking out of the cinema and back in again after creepy older teenage boy had got his seat.

    "do you fancy rambo??" says rambo halloween dude "i prefer rocky" says me winking, que rambo wannabe looking sad and walking away. clearly i'm bad at flirting or he had a rocky friend.


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    #60
    who007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 711 ✭✭✭who007


    My favourite is to hold out my hand as if there's a napkin in it and ask "does that smell like chloroform to you?"

    it can be touch and go if the girl actually gets the joke or not.. :confused::eek::D:P


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    #61
    Twee.
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,722 Mod ✭✭✭✭Twee.


    I think the most direct one I've ever had was with a guy a few years ago. We'd been chatting for about five minutes, there's a lull in conversation and he turns around with a big grin and goes "Wanna kiss?!" I was taken aback....and said yes :pac:


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