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funniest chat up lines ever used on you?

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    #62
    Amber 123
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭Amber 123


    HIM : Are you wearing false eyelashes
    Me : No
    Him : Are you sure? Close your eyes.
    Me : *Closed my eyes*
    Him : *Kisses me*

    Corny but it worked!


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    #63
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Amber 123 wrote: »
    HIM : Are you wearing false eyelashes
    Me : No
    Him : Are you sure? Close your eyes.
    Me : *Closed my eyes*
    Him : *Kisses me*

    Corny but it worked!

    Lolz, did you see post 35? Seems there's a serial playa in Dublin! ;):D


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    #64
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Lolz, did you see post 35? Seems there's a serial playa in Dublin! ;):D

    Three quarters of the eyes in those smilies are closed, are you trying to tell us something PillyPen...?


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    #65
    Bones08
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭Bones08


    Guy; waves his finger at girl gestering he over,
    when she gets there,
    Guy Says; I made you cum with my finger imagine what I could do with my (u know)

    It worked for a pal (i was there)


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    #66
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Alexis Unkempt Sugarcoat wrote: »
    Three quarters of the eyes in those smilies are closed, are you trying to tell us something PillyPen...?

    It means that 75% of the time it works 100% of the time. :D


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    #67
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    Bones08 wrote: »
    Guy; waves his finger at girl gestering he over,
    when she gets there,
    Guy Says; I made you cum with my finger imagine what I could do with my (u know)

    It worked for a pal (i was there)

    funny :D


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    #68
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    PillyPen wrote: »
    It means that 75% of the time it works 100% of the time. :D

    Too bad I'm out of thanks.


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    #69
    In$omniac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 174 ✭✭In$omniac


    I had an overly confident guy (he was that good looking I thought he was gay) once ask me 'so you wanna come back to my place?' to which I said 'no there isn't room for both of us under that rock' he walked away with more than his tail between his legs :D


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    #70
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    I used to work in a pub many moons ago.. Heard as good few chat up lines back then...

    The best had to be this poor fella, he was a few years older than me, shy and cute...

    he came up to me and asked me... " If I wanted to come back to his house to see his Christmas Tree!!":o


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    #71
    Pyr0
    Registered Users Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Quality wrote: »
    he came up to me and asked me... " If I wanted to come back to his house to see his Christmas Tree!!":o

    Did you go ? What was the tree like ?


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    #72
    Volvoboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭Volvoboy


    Quality wrote: »
    I used to work in a pub many moons ago.. Heard as good few chat up lines back then...

    The best had to be this poor fella, he was a few years older than me, shy and cute...

    he came up to me and asked me... " If I wanted to come back to his house to see his Christmas Tree!!":o

    Thats class, i'm gonna use that one. ''I'll show ya me tree if i get a shot of yer garland'':pac:


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    #73
    allabouteve
    Closed Accounts Posts: 844 ✭✭✭allabouteve


    ''Would you like to go for a drive in my Ferarri''

    I nearly had my drink exit through my nose, I snorted with laughter at that one. What a smooth guy.


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    #74
    Pythia
    Registered Users Posts: 7,469 ✭✭✭Pythia


    "Hi Rachel, you don't know me but I know you". Not a chat up line perse, but eek anyway.


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    #75
    cormie
    Registered Users Posts: 20,835 ✭✭✭✭cormie


    haha, did you find out who he was/how he knew you?


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    #76
    Pythia
    Registered Users Posts: 7,469 ✭✭✭Pythia


    cormie wrote: »
    haha, did you find out who he was/how he knew you?

    It was at my work Xmas party. He's from another department.


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    #77
    Kya1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,879 ✭✭✭Kya1976


    'lets play titanic I'll say 'iceberg' and you go down'......


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    #78
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    One of my female mates and I pretty much send each other a chat up line a day just outta boredom, She sent me this and I laughed even though its supposed to be a guy saying it to a girl...
    Hey uh are you a virgin?? If not can I have the box it came in?


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    #79
    chickenhawk
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭chickenhawk


    I know a girl who was in coppers and a guy said to her

    'I want to cum on your face like a painters radio'

    She scored him.


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    #80
    thermo66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 523 ✭✭✭thermo66


    Remember the slow sets during disco's? Was asked to dance by a stranger so innocently got up expecting a dance! Few seconds into it i hear 'well, are ya on for it'? :eek:

    Had a good idea what the 'it' was but i just couldn't deal with the charm and romantic nature of the guy so declined and wished for the song to end asap!
    Talk about a quick move!


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    #81
    Alessandra
    Registered Users Posts: 1,276 ✭✭✭Alessandra


    "If I said you had a sexy body would you hold it against me", brave man.


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    #82
    thermo66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 523 ✭✭✭thermo66


    thats a line from a country song isn't it !


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    #83
    Big Chief
    Registered Users Posts: 3,754 ✭✭✭Big Chief


    Alessandra wrote: »
    "If I said you had a sexy body would you hold it against me", brave man.

    he clearly stole it from quagmire from family guy im afraid :)

    15-1578-BCNDD00Z.jpg


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    #84
    artanevilla
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 10,542 Mod ✭✭✭✭artanevilla


    Bones08 wrote: »
    Guy; waves his finger at girl gestering he over,
    when she gets there,
    Guy Says; I made you cum with my finger imagine what I could do with my (u know)

    Fist?


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    #85
    Placid_Casual
    Registered Users Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Placid_Casual


    On holiday in South Africa, this American guy I was hanging out with went up to a girl and said "Hi, I'm gay". Counter-intuitive but it worked!

    The next morning she was apparently asking him questions like "Do your parents know you're gay?" and "How come you like to sleep with women?"


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    #86
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,304 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    thermo66 wrote: »
    thats a line from a country song isn't it !
    Big Chief wrote: »
    he clearly stole it from quagmire from family guy im afraid :)

    It's paraphrased from the truly appalling If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me by the Bellamy Brothers. Unfortunately I am old enough to remember when it was released, and it wasn't any better back then.


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    #87
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    I'm depressed to realise exactly how many of Quagmire's lines have been used on me.
    I had the 'My name is Chance, do I have one?' last night.

    Men have so little imagination :(.


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    #88
    Michellenman
    Registered Users Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭Michellenman


    Volvoboy wrote: »
    Thats class, i'm gonna use that one. ''I'll show ya me tree if i get a shot of yer garland'':pac:

    That's almost as good as ''Gis a shot of yer beaver''.


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    #89
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    By a really sleazy guy in the Quays pub:

    "Does the alarm work in your fone?? Cos mines broken and I've to be up for work in the morning.....:eek:


    By a young farmer in the local 'nightclub' in Gort Co.Galway.....

    'Your eyes are the same colour as me tractor....'

    By a spanner in a Galway late bar...

    'Your eyes will haunt me in my sleep, so hows about we stay up all night....'


    Me to my current boyfriend...(I hasten to add I was very drunk....)

    ARE YOU NOT GAY NO????

    He said no and I threw the lips on him....classy:rolleyes:

    He was highly entertained by it all..... I was highly mortified when I remembered what had happened the following day...and even more surprised to get a call from him inviting me to dinner....

    Some men actually appreciate the lunacy;)


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    #90
    Stones85
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭Stones85


    has anyone heard the "Unibond" line?

    "The names Bond, Uni-bond, and I'm here to fill your crack in"

    :eek::eek:

    Nearly drowned in my pint when a mate used that one:D


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    #91
    Placid_Casual
    Registered Users Posts: 530 ✭✭✭Placid_Casual


    The gas thing about this thread is that half the lines seem to have been successful...I guess sometimes corny works!

    *gets notepad*


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