funniest chat up lines ever used on you?

enfield · 29-12-2008 12:33pm

Being older than a teenager I often break the ice with, "Thank you very much" she says "why" I say "You have brought a little bit of glamour into an otherwise dull day". A bit cheesy but harmless and always raises a smile.
Brian

minidazzler · 29-12-2008 1:55pm

Wibbs wrote: »

I remember one. At a party way back. This woman comes over and straight outa the box, no introductions nada, says "you have lovely eyes and a kind heart. I could tell from across the room". OK a bit over the top, but mkay... Followed immediately by her revelation that her flatmate was away and (I quote verbatim), "please take me home and violate me"........ The violate was enough, the please part just added to the weirdness. I didn't take her up on the offer. She was not an unattractive woman, but there was madness in her eyes and even my male secondary "brain" advised running.:D This was confirmed later as I tried to back away when she kept going on about how much she wanted kids and was actively looking for a daddy.:eek::D

If you had gone back then I would have advised using your own condoms, because she probably tainted her ones!!!!!

Jumpy · 29-12-2008 2:03pm

manukahoney wrote: »

ARE YOU NOT GAY NO????

Classy :rolleyes:

Jumpy · 29-12-2008 2:12pm

PillyPen wrote: »

This isn't exactly a chat-up line, but I've laughed every time I thought about it since it happened...a couple of weeks ago this incredibly drunk guy grabbed a handful of my hair, started petting it, and said "So soft, so soft. I'm going to make something out of this." :eek::eek:

You laughed?

Would that not be akin to "It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again" ?

Xiney · 29-12-2008 7:46pm

When I used to dye my hair a strawberry blonde colour I used to get "So... does the carpet match the drapes?" quite often. (ugh)

I think the best response I ever had to that was "You should see my coordinating umbrella stand"

Never have I ever seen a man so confused....

sexmag · 29-12-2008 7:51pm

your parents must have been retarded cus you are so special

sexmag · 29-12-2008 7:51pm

if you where a burger,youd be a mcgorgeous

LolaLuv · 29-12-2008 8:33pm

Jumpy wrote: »

You laughed?

Would that not be akin to "It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again" ?

Ha, pretty much. He was really, really drunk though, so it didn't seem quite so creepy as it would coming from a sober person.:)

GirlInterrupted · 29-12-2008 8:38pm

metrovelvet wrote: »

You read that as classy? I see it a little kinkier...

Hmmm, I'll take a literary reference over

'I could scramble your eggs'
'I could eat the clothes off you'
'Are you interested in Native American culture? Because I've a totem pole I could show you'
and
'Do you want to find out what my lips could do with your lips?'.
'How long has it been for you? Do you want to know how long it is with me?'

Anyday.

metrovelvet · 29-12-2008 8:45pm

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Hmmm, I'll take a literary reference over

'I could scramble your eggs'
'I could eat the clothes off you'
'Are you interested in Native American culture? Because I've a totem pole I could show you'
and
'Do you want to find out what my lips could do with your lips?'.
'How long has it been for you? Do you want to know how long it is with me?'

Anyday.

I see where you're coming from- but that one? I'm not saying it's not worthy, not by any stretch, just that it's far more suggestive than classy.

I got a good one in an anonymous valentine - a quote from Rousseau's confessions - "What god, what angel, what devil could experience you and have resisted?'

LolaLuv · 29-12-2008 8:48pm

metrovelvet wrote: »

I got a good one in an anonymous valentine - a quote from Rousseau's confessions - "What god, what angel, what devil could experience you and have resisted?'

That definitely would have worked on me. Too bad it was anonymous.

metrovelvet · 29-12-2008 8:54pm

PillyPen wrote: »

That definitely would have worked on me. Too bad it was anonymous.

Oh I figured out who it was. It nearly worked.

GirlInterrupted · 29-12-2008 9:03pm

metrovelvet wrote: »

I see where you're coming from- but that one? I'm not saying it's not worthy, not by any stretch, just that it's far more suggestive than classy.

I got a good one in an anonymous valentine - a quote from Rousseau's confessions - "What god, what angel, what devil could experience you and have resisted?'

You know, I think that line might actually work

.

Pherekydes · 29-12-2008 9:09pm

Her: My house is empty and cold.

Me: Stay here, then.

Snowie · 29-12-2008 10:07pm

PillyPen wrote: »

This isn't exactly a chat-up line, but I've laughed every time I thought about it since it happened...a couple of weeks ago this incredibly drunk guy grabbed a handful of my hair, started petting it, and said "So soft, so soft. I'm going to make something out of this." :eek::eek:

You know what I've a mate who would do exactly what you just discribed complete fruit cake..... but funny

.....

dont think it was him tho unless he had a quite a beer gut a curlyish ahiar but really skinny.......

LolaLuv · 29-12-2008 10:08pm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

You know what I've a mate who would do exactly what you just discribed complete fruit cake..... but funny .....

dont think it was him tho unless he had a quite a beer gut a curlyish ahiar but really skinny.......

He did have curly hair! Didn't notice the body type, but he was sorta tall. Does his name begin with a C?

Snowie · 29-12-2008 10:14pm

PillyPen wrote: »

He did have curly hair! Didn't notice the body type, but he was sorta tall. Does his name begin with a C?

no

but it sounds exactly like his deameaner and the kind of thing he'd do altho, im shore there are other fruit cakes out there......

Pub07 · 29-12-2008 11:03pm

The best line I ever came up with was 'Fook it, I couldnt be arsed, good luck' which I said to a girl in a nightclub after chatting to her for a few mins and her hardly acknowleding me. I passed by her 10 minutes later and she came over and started shifting me there and then, ended up knocking her off for about 2 months after that lol.

Local-womanizer · 29-12-2008 11:45pm

Me:"How do you like your eggs?I like my fertilised;)

Her:*walks away*

Awayindahils · 30-12-2008 2:22pm

My first Trinity Ball, walking along with a male friend and feeling very dapper and so forth in my dress and with everything looking very pretty due to the alcohol:

Friend: "Lets pretend its 1914 and that I am about to be conscripted."

This was followed by a meaningful look towards a bush.

I was so taken aback and horrified that I didn't know what to say, but I do remember being very grateful to two aquaintances who turned up moments afterwards and saved me from having to say or do anything.

i71jskz5xu42pb · 30-12-2008 3:24pm

Awayindahils wrote: »

saved me from having to say or do anything.

And then he went to war and died a painful death on the front, a virgin. You should have done it for your country!

Active Service on the home front as it were.

homerun_homer · 30-12-2008 3:29pm

I was at a house party a few years ago just after Christmas and was sitting on a chair with this girl I was mad about at the time. We were playing with a magic 8 ball and she asked "will we kiss tonight?".

The 8 ball said yes and it wasn't wrong.

Catari Jaguar · 30-12-2008 5:08pm

homerun_homer wrote: »

I was at a house party a few years ago just after Christmas and was sitting on a chair with this girl I was mad about at the time. We were playing with a magic 8 ball and she asked "will we kiss tonight?".

The 8 ball said yes and it wasn't wrong.

Awh! That's too cute.

Best and funniest one I got (from an American fella) was *I know milk does a body good... but damn girl! How much have you been drinking?!*

LolaLuv · 30-12-2008 5:55pm

homerun_homer wrote: »

I was at a house party a few years ago just after Christmas and was sitting on a chair with this girl I was mad about at the time. We were playing with a magic 8 ball and she asked "will we kiss tonight?".

The 8 ball said yes and it wasn't wrong.

That's so adorable! Good thing it didn't say "not a chance in hell" haha.

Firetrap · 30-12-2008 7:22pm

What's me chances of getting a hould of you tonight?

Didn't work mind you

mormank · 30-12-2008 9:10pm

oh my good god. i honestly cant imagine ever using any of these chat up lines. id be mortified!! although i did luagh alot while reading this thread. but i cant believe people actually use them or that they work...hmmm,interesting

purplekitty · 30-12-2008 11:36pm

someone once told em the only reason they'd kick me out of bed is to have me on the floor...

blush!!!:o

Kirnsy · 31-12-2008 1:07am

"wanna drink or do you want me?":cool:

it worked........... on her

sassa · 31-12-2008 1:29am

when i worked in a nightclub years ago i was tryin to clear people out at the end of the night and asked this group "are you's ready to go now or what?" when one smart arse pipped in with "Sit on my face and I'll gargle you an answer"

ended up with the guy a few weeks later, its now 5 yrs and 2 kids and my god that is not a story to be telling them about how their parents met:p:D:D

YDMHSSB · 31-12-2008 1:47pm

lob it into me there boss!!

funniest chat up lines ever used on you?

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