defensive or passive guy?

Gyalist

Dragan wrote: »

I see this bandied about quite a bit but the simple truth of the matter is that most PEOPLE are not mentally or physically equipped to deal with a decently scary physical confrontation.

That's true, but most women over the age 14/15 have already learned that their physical strength cannot match that of a male and have developed other strategies to cope. In may cases the intervention of a man only inflames the situation.

Gyalist

Slow Motion wrote: »

I'm sorry but that's just a load of crap! It goes both ways!

How so? If you want to be Captain Save-a-Ho and behave as if women aren't capable of looking after themselves, good luck with that.

Dragan

Gyalist wrote: »

That's true, but most women over the age 14/15 have already learned that their physical strength cannot match that of a male and have developed other strategies to cope. In may cases the intervention of a man only inflames the situation.

Tell me about it. I was working one night when a guy slapped his girlfriend HARD in the face right in front of me. He was drawing his hand back for a second go when i reached out and grabbed his wrist and elbow and gave a gentle twist. Seconds later i get this sharp stabbing pain in the base of my neck a couple of times and then it stops, i chuck him out and turn around to find one of the guys holding the girlfriend by the scruff.

She had her shoe in her hand and had been ramming it into my neck! I told her fair enough, if she wanted to defend a fella who would slap her then she could go out with him. We put her out and bang, the guy smashed her in the teeth full force, she hit the deck and we took him down and called the cops.

They show up and she is there screaming abuse at us and the police to leave her fella alone.

So just to shut her the **** up we had her done with assault as well.

GB15

Dragan wrote: »

Tell me about it. I was working one night when a guy slapped his girlfriend HARD in the face right in front of me. He was drawing his hand back for a second go when i reached out and grabbed his wrist and elbow and gave a gentle twist. Seconds later i get this sharp stabbing pain in the base of my neck a couple of times and then it stops, i chuck him out and turn around to find one of the guys holding the girlfriend by the scruff.

She had her shoe in her hand and had been ramming it into my neck! I told her fair enough, if she wanted to defend a fella who would slap her then she could go out with him. We put her out and bang, the guy smashed her in the teeth full force, she hit the deck and we took him down and called the cops.

They show up and she is there screaming abuse at us and the police to leave her fella alone.

So just to shut her the **** up we had her done with assault as well.

If you go over to the martial arts forum on boards you will find endless stories like this from guys who are bouncers.

There seems to be a general rule to never intervene between a fighting couple - lots of them have learnt this the hard way.

Dragan

GB15 wrote: »

If you go over to the martial arts forum on boards you will find endless stories like this from guys who are bouncers.

There seems to be a general rule to never intervene between a fighting couple - lots of them have learnt this the hard way.

Well i mod that Forum so i know all about the stories! Personally i will always get involved, I would rather work off the assumption that they will appreciate the help....if they don't i'll just leave them to what ever fate they have dug themselves into.

cuckoo

Yikes Dragon, I hope your neck was ok and she didn't break the skin with her heel.

Sometimes how a guy behaves after something happening can be as important as how he reacts during it. Like "omg, i can't believe he/she said/did that to you - i'm so angry, i should have hit him, angry, angry" is less useful than "wow, that got scary back there. You ok? gotta say, i'm a bit shaken by that *another hug*".

LolaLuv

Dragan wrote: »

Tell me about it. I was working one night when a guy slapped his girlfriend HARD in the face right in front of me. He was drawing his hand back for a second go when i reached out and grabbed his wrist and elbow and gave a gentle twist. Seconds later i get this sharp stabbing pain in the base of my neck a couple of times and then it stops, i chuck him out and turn around to find one of the guys holding the girlfriend by the scruff.

She had her shoe in her hand and had been ramming it into my neck! I told her fair enough, if she wanted to defend a fella who would slap her then she could go out with him. We put her out and bang, the guy smashed her in the teeth full force, she hit the deck and we took him down and called the cops.

They show up and she is there screaming abuse at us and the police to leave her fella alone.

So just to shut her the **** up we had her done with assault as well.

That's really sad that people would relate to one another like that.

bills

She is obviously her own worst enemy!!

Osteosam

LightningBolt wrote: »

I think the majority of even the most hardened women will require the need of a defensive guy at some point in their lives whether they be family, friends or their bf/husband.

You're right here... I'm totally capable of waging my own wars with the idiots who will always exist, but when in a relationship it just feels damn good to know that the other person cares enough to stick their neck out on my behalf...not so much a need as in can't live without it, but I guess probably it is a 'need' as much as making one partner feel significant to the other.

Also I think being assertive rather than aggressive is the sign of good mature boundaries in both men and women... highly attractive!

Well that's my 5c worth!