Tuesday Quickies

rocky25

On BBC Sports Personality of the Year tonight Rebecca Adlington said:

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my parents."

............No sh1t.

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Welsh is a language invented by someone who was sh1t at scrabble.

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Don't believe anyone who advises you to get christmas shopping done early to avoid the crowds.

This year I did mine a full 12 months early and the shops were as busy as ever.

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Did you hear about the muslim kid who got arrested at school, for using a compass...the police said it was a weapon of maths instruction

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My friend asked today, "Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts?"

Do friction burns count?

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A crowd enter a bar and order a big round of drinks ,when they come to pay they give the barman milk bottle tops.

'what the fooks this??' says the barman.

The head of the group comes over to explain - 'Its the annual outing from the Boards.ie Mental Home down the road.

Just humour them, keep a tab and at the end of the night,I'll settle up with you' says the guy.

'Ok' says the barman with a big wink.

The night rolls on and its a roaring success.

The barman hails the guy.

'that was a great night!

not one of them is sober and no trouble at all!' he says amazed

'that will be €473.82p please'

'Ok', says the guy 'have you got change of a dustbin lid?'

Ave Sodalis

nice one:D:)