Verbally Abusive flatmate

coinin_clumhach

Hi All,

I'm looking for advice on how to handle an abusive flatmate. I am not long moved into my current flat and one of the women I live with is being increasingly verbally abusive and spiteful towards me - shouting and swearing when she gets into a temper. I didn't know her at all before I moved in, and have done nothing to provoke her.
I am quiet, polite and keep to myself as she and the other tenant have been cold and unfriendly since I moved in.
I'm considering talking to the letting agency if this continues but I don't know if they will do anything given that she's been living there years. I'm also concerned about escalating the situation,I really don't want to be driven out. Thanks!

thereitisgone

Contact the letting agency because if she has been there for years chances are you are not the first person she has treated like this, because people like that are usually people like that from a young age , and you are probably the latest in a long line that she has bullied, no matter what the agency do get away from her somehow, life is way to short to waste it on that sort of brown stuff.

FGR

Definately do something about it - There's only one thing worse than getting harassed and hassled at work/college/outandabout..and it's getting harassed and hassled at home.

MillyMollyMandy

Coinin, get out while you can. I've been renting/sharing different places for four years now and i've seen the whole rainbow of crazy that can be flat mates. I know it doesn't seem fair that you should have to move out because of her but she's obviously an a-hole and not likely to change anytime soon. It's not worth it - life's too short, like thereitisgone said. my last flat mate was hell to live with, so loud, obnoxious and hell-bent on enforcing her opinions on me. Always shouting, cursing, giving out, whinging and - one of the worst bits - absolutely horrible to most of my friends and family. And she didn't see a thing wrong with it all! She just said to hell with everyone else. People like this exist, unfortunatly, but so do more people in your position, so you're not alone! The former won't go far in life with attitudes like that. That last crazy b1tch inspired me to get a place of my own. i know have a snug little bedsit, it's not much but it's my own - and best of all - no crazy roomies being unnecessarily mean! Get another place if you can, i was just looking on daft.ie yesterday and there's a lot out there at the mo and prices are going way down. do what's best for you - keep you happy! Re telling the agency, do report her because if it's a repeat pattern, they'll need to know. But i'm not sure how much they can do for you, so do be prepared.
All the best with it - and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself!
=D

coinin_clumhach

Thanks a mil for the advice guys! I am reluctant to move on so soon but I'm absolutely stunned at her behaviour. It'd be such a pity if I have to move, I really like the flat and my room!
At the moment she's blanking me but I know it's just a matter of time before she gets in another bad mood. It's such a shame, I've never had one cross word with any other flatmate in all my time renting. I suppose some people are just difficult and I think I look like an easy target to her because I'm quiet - but I will stand up for myself!!

Fatloss08

give it back

she obviously has no regard for you so dont have it wit her

make her angry etc , do what u like , be un-tidy an a-hole etc

fook her , its not her place so dont be afraid to be you

some women like that will walk over u if u shy away

Millie

Have you asked her what her problem is?

AARRRGH

Fatloss08 wrote: »

give it back

she obviously has no regard for you so dont have it wit her

make her angry etc , do what u like , be un-tidy an a-hole etc

fook her , its not her place so dont be afraid to be you

some women like that will walk over u if u shy away

I agree with this. I would be incredibly aggressive back to her, borderline threat of physical violence. Bullies only respect other bullies, unfortunately.

I hate people like her, and I have no problem treating them like the piece of **** that they are.

I don't think the letting agency will do a thing.

coinin_clumhach

Millie wrote: »

Have you asked her what her problem is?

Genuinely couldn't tell you what her issue is. I've asked but she just told me to get lost. She hasn't given me an answer on what I've done to bug her except to accuse me of spilling drops of tea and other equally petty things. The thing is that she doesn't know me at all, so I can't see how I could have offended her so badly.

murphym7

Just get out. I could not handle the stress of living there, the anticpation or dread as uou put the key in the door. No way just move out.

Ste.phen

Just thinking: you say she was there first, and you're sharing, which makes me think you may not have a formal lease, if that's the case just get the hell out of there ASAP and find somewhere new!