Spatula of Hope

joewicklow

A friend of mine sent me this and I have to agree that spatulas do not get the credit they deserve...........

Now, as Christmas looms and everybody is getting scared of having their eye taken out pulling a cracker, lets remember as Santa sits and feeds and reads and concedes that we succeed when good deeds plant good seeds which grow strong beads of weeds that heed the poors needs, let us remember the greatest kitchen implement of all time and all round soul saver, the mighty Spatula.

O Spatula, O Spatula
To us, you are so strong
A leader of civilisation
But in the kitchen you belong
You are moulded from hard plastic
Metal, sometimes wood
But you spread your love among us
As only a Spatula ever could
You are long and flat and helpful
The symbol of all our hopes
You've been in the hands of presidents
You've flipped eggs for all the popes
You dive into the hot grease
To save us from the heat
And in the last Great Ice Age
You were snow shoes for our feet
When the light shines through you
You're Holy, Holey light
It refracts into a prism
Of soul saving delight
And so I say dear Spatula
Please watch our friends and family
Use your unique flatness
To prise their happiness free
You stand like a giant guardian
Scraping away our fears
Using your non-stick finish
To flip away our tears
You stand, this great utensil
Among the kitchen implements
Your Father, from up in Homewares
Where from, his only son, he sent
A symbol of Universal power,
Sometimes, a sifter of flour
You know it that you can
When the **** hits the fan
Cook that **** in your pan
And stick it to the man
O Spatula, from across the sea
Please fulfil your destiny
And rid the world of ill for me
And create a planet of people free
So, if for no other reason
You're frying eggs cos' its freezing
Know the Spatula, is always watching
Over you all, this Christmas season

May all the monkeys know your name when you're stopped in the jungle without ID
May all your friends and family be here this time next year
May Santy remember to knock off the extractor fan if he's taking a dump in your house
May every poor person just get a job and wash every now and then
And may you all have a Healthy, Peaceful, Relaxing, Spirit Reviving, Chocolate Munching Christmas!
Amen.

Ruu_Old

Yawn, the spork beats all. Behold!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Oh, roight..... I see you've played forky-spoony before....