The Fathers Thread

beertons

C section is the last thing we want. My wife wouldn't be able to lift and hold the baby. Breast feeding would be a disaster. You're not supposed to drive, or spend long on your feet. A few of the ladys friends have had them, been a disaster. And expensive. You need home help to get through the day, with the extra housework and stuff like that. So i was told anyway, and its underlined in her birth plan, that only c section if its the last resort. 3 weeks left for me!

smokingman

I am new to the whole c-section thing so maybe I'll change my tune when they arrive home from the hospital. I've saved up all my holidays this year for then so we'll have about a month of me being there to do the housework/shopping/taking care of our existing 21 month old etc.

She's been breastfeeding them in the hospital room with the help of the nurses and she said she felt a lot better than she expected yesterday when she got out of bed for the first time and had a shower. I'm guessing this was not the experience that others on this forum have had?

Anyhoo, I'm sure I'll find out more about the whole thing soon enough and I'll report back with any news. It's kinda handy to have this forum for opinions and resources from a dads perspective so thank you mods!

January

If she over exerts herself she will really feel it, although elective c sections can be completely different to emergency c sections. I was under general anesthetic for mine rather than just the normal epidural/spinal block they give so I had that to get over also.

What I found in the later stages of recovery was that my body would tell me if I was over doing it, (TMI warning for any squeamish daddies out there!) by way of bleeding... I always bled a lot more if I was over doing it rather than taking it easy.

It will be great that she'll have you around to help for the first little while and should help her in her recovery. When she gets home, just let her sit, or lie down, whichever she prefers, and feed babies and rest while you do everything else. She'll be all the better for it.

smokingman

She had the spinal alright and the doctor we had is apparently one of the best. It was recommendations about the doctor in question that actually made us go to her in the first place and I have to admit, she is a pretty awesome doc.

Quick mod question, is it ok to post a docs name if you want to praise them to high heaven?

KayTee

Congrats smoking man on the arrival of your twins! I'm pretty sure i know your wife on another forum, delighted she is feeling well and managing so well with the babies. You take good care of her now! It's great you will be on hand at home while she gets over her surgery! Have you introduced your older boy to his new brothers yet?

smokingman

KayTee wrote: »

Congrats smoking man on the arrival of your twins! I'm pretty sure i know your wife on another forum, delighted she is feeling well and managing so well with the babies. You take good care of her now! It's great you will be on hand at home while she gets over her surgery! Have you introduced your older boy to his new brothers yet?

MagicMum yeah?
We introduced the little fella to them last night and he had a big smile on his face and patted them on the head a bit. Got a bit ratty after that though but that was down to him being in the hospital just past his bedtime.
The visiting hours policy isn't the most conducive to allowing a toddler in as he's only allowed in from 7pm-8:30. I can understand where they're coming from but it's a bit ****ty all the same.

KayTee

yes - MM

how cute was the big brother! Delighted all is going well, hope you got to spend some time with mummy and the twins today. Enjoy;)

Branoic

I've been following this thread for months with interest, as we've been TTC for the past 6 months or so. Wondered when I'd get to post in it....

OH missed her period yesterday. Did a Clearblue test this morning, positive result - 1 to 2 weeks.

Now she's gone off to work for a few hours and I'm left alone in the house, suddenly sh*tting myself. We've been reading all sorts of information on what to do, what to expect etc etc, but it's all gone, my mind is a scary blank!

Obviously way too early to tell anyone yet in the "real" world, but gotta get it out there somewhere!

January

smokingman wrote: »

She had the spinal alright and the doctor we had is apparently one of the best. It was recommendations about the doctor in question that actually made us go to her in the first place and I have to admit, she is a pretty awesome doc.

Quick mod question, is it ok to post a docs name if you want to praise them to high heaven?

I wouldn't post names unless recommendations are asked for and then it'd be better if they were PM'd to the person asking for the recommendation

Synchronicity

Branoic wrote: »

I've been following this thread for months with interest, as we've been TTC for the past 6 months or so. Wondered when I'd get to post in it....

OH missed her period yesterday. Did a Clearblue test this morning, positive result - 1 to 2 weeks.

Now she's gone off to work for a few hours and I'm left alone in the house, suddenly sh*tting myself. We've been reading all sorts of information on what to do, what to expect etc etc, but it's all gone, my mind is a scary blank!

Obviously way too early to tell anyone yet in the "real" world, but gotta get it out there somewhere!

Congrats! New Dad-to-be here too. Fifteen weeks gone. It's scary stuff at first but you get your heads around it pretty quick. We let friends and family know a few weeks ago - once that's out of the way you'll find yourselves being able to relax a bit more. Read a couple of books on the subject e.g. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" & "Pregnancy For Men", I found them very helpful. Good for picking up brownie points too

Branoic

Thanks for that. Yeah, have a couple of books on order alright!

OH went to the doc yesterday and was dated at 5 weeks, so we've got a due date of May 1st. She's phoning the hospital today to make her first appointment.

She told her parents last night. I'll be telling mine next week when I see them, then we'll probably wait until week 10 or so to tell others.

I'm already under instruction to get the kitchen and sitting room painted!

RedXIV

Branoic wrote: »

Thanks for that. Yeah, have a couple of books on order alright!

OH went to the doc yesterday and was dated at 5 weeks, so we've got a due date of May 1st. She's phoning the hospital today to make her first appointment.

She told her parents last night. I'll be telling mine next week when I see them, then we'll probably wait until week 10 or so to tell others.

I'm already under instruction to get the kitchen and sitting room painted!

The "pregnancy for men" books tend to be very good, and well geared towards men, far more than women. Explaining things that women seem to know instinctively

Try to get to as many of the scans and appointments too for more understanding. Best thing we did though was get a private scan where instead of the 15" screen in the hospital, you get a big 42" tv and the midwife explaining everything and all your questions answered. Have done that with both of my partners last pregnancies because you get a nice video too

And possibly a controversial piece of advice. If this is your first, get any benders or wild parties out of your system now while you have a chance Oh and enjoy your lie-ins Babies are very demanding, but great fun and hugely rewarding

beertons

Jeez, I haven't been in here in ages. The good woman is dues on Wednesday, but she says she'll go over. Hormones all over the place, hers not mine.

Bit of advice lads, get that bag packed at around 30 weeks. A pregnant friedn of hers called around Thursday for lunch. She was 33 weeks gone. She was saying how she had nothing done. Well on Friday her waters broke, and by c section on saturday, she had a little boy, weighing 4.5lbs. She got everything brought into her at the last minute, night dresses and what not. Has to spend 5 days minimum in hospital. Her husband did all the shopping for her. Don't be thinking you have loads of time, and make her aware of it too.

Georgeee

Well everyone first time to ever post on this the girlfriends expecting she's 8weeks tomorrow is it me or does it seem like it's gonna be ages until April!! Can't wait it's our first a bit of a surprise but brilliant. Anyone got any tips for me??

RedXIV

beertons wrote: »

Jeez, I haven't been in here in ages. The good woman is dues on Wednesday, but she says she'll go over. Hormones all over the place, hers not mine.

Bit of advice lads, get that bag packed at around 30 weeks. A pregnant friedn of hers called around Thursday for lunch. She was 33 weeks gone. She was saying how she had nothing done. Well on Friday her waters broke, and by c section on saturday, she had a little boy, weighing 4.5lbs. She got everything brought into her at the last minute, night dresses and what not. Has to spend 5 days minimum in hospital. Her husband did all the shopping for her. Don't be thinking you have loads of time, and make her aware of it too.

Best of luck on wednesday mate.

Yeah we're at 38 weeks and had false labour scare last night (still knackered) and realised we hadn't packed the bags. Am getting that sorted tonight.

Georgeee wrote: »

Well everyone first time to ever post on this the girlfriends expecting she's 8weeks tomorrow is it me or does it seem like it's gonna be ages until April!! Can't wait it's our first a bit of a surprise but brilliant. Anyone got any tips for me??

Buy small amounts of nappies, babygrows, etc every pay day between now and then. We did this on the last one and didn't have to buy anything for months, great relief.

Synchronicity

RedXIV wrote: »

Buy small amounts of nappies, babygrows, etc every pay day between now and then. We did this on the last one and didn't have to buy anything for months, great relief.

My girlfriend is against buying anything until near the date due to her superstitious nature. I started a post office account though and throw €20-€40 quid in there every week instead. I now think of it as "the baby's money", and I'd feel guilty touching it.

If you told me I'd be doing that a year ago I'd have laughed!

Georgeee

Synchronicity wrote: »

RedXIV wrote: »

Buy small amounts of nappies, babygrows, etc every pay day between now and then. We did this on the last one and didn't have to buy anything for months, great relief.

My girlfriend is against buying anything until near the date due to her superstitious nature. I started a post office account though and throw €20-€40 quid in there every week instead. I now think of it as "the baby's money", and I'd feel guilty touching it.

If you told me I'd be doing that a year ago I'd have laughed!

I've started that Aswell Savin as much a I can! Wouldn't feel right buyin stuf this early ! It mad to think how much priorities change in such a short time !

beertons

Mrs Beertons gave birth to a lovely baby boy on Saturday at 11:11pm, weighing 7lbs 8. Between contractions and labour, she was going from 2am till almost midnight. Got the epidural at around 4pm. Brilliant experience. She's a hero of mine now.

Branoic

beertons wrote: »

Mrs Beertons gave birth to a lovely baby boy on Saturday at 11:11pm, weighing 7lbs 8. Between contractions and labour, she was going from 2am till almost midnight. Got the epidural at around 4pm. Brilliant experience. She's a hero of mine now.

Awe brilliant, congratulations!

RedXIV

beertons wrote: »

Mrs Beertons gave birth to a lovely baby boy on Saturday at 11:11pm, weighing 7lbs 8. Between contractions and labour, she was going from 2am till almost midnight. Got the epidural at around 4pm. Brilliant experience. She's a hero of mine now.

Great news mate, delighted for you! Good healthy size too!

Congrats to herself too!

Georgeee

beertons wrote: »

Mrs Beertons gave birth to a lovely baby boy on Saturday at 11:11pm, weighing 7lbs 8. Between contractions and labour, she was going from 2am till almost midnight. Got the epidural at around 4pm. Brilliant experience. She's a hero of mine now.

Congrats dude!

LadyMayBelle

Lads, and Dads, will ye have read of the article by child psych David Coleman; absolutly brilliant, and tips on how Dad's can cope with a new baby, and also interesting stuff on how really, really valuable ye are in your little one's life!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/so-what-kind-of-father-are-you-2880436.html?start=2

Congrats to all the new Dads out there, I stick my nose in here every now and then and it's such a ncie thread

beertons

I have to tell ya's this. If herself is still undecided about getting the epidural, get her to decide asap. Woman in room across from us was making her mind up, when all of a sudden, she went from 2cm to 8cm. 8cm was the cut off. The pain must have been unnatural. My missus fell asleep for an hour when she had hers, it was like she was floating. Where as the woman in the other room, wanted a swift ending. I have never been so uncomfortable, listening to her screams for help. Take everything that's offered to you!

Supercell

When does the sickness and puking end?!! She's 13 weeks and 2 days now and still puking daily and has zero energy. Any car journey = puke. Any walk longer than 100 metres = she feels tired and wants to sit down for a few minutes. Look up and she feels dizzy. I just feel so helpless, I signed up to be there in sickness and in health and I cant do a damn thing for her My wife has become a sick granny!

What is this baby doing to my woman!!??

RedXIV

Supercell wrote: »

When does the sickness and puking end?!! She's 13 weeks and 2 days now and still puking daily and has zero energy. Any car journey = puke. Any walk longer than 100 metres = she feels tired and wants to sit down for a few minutes. Look up and she feels dizzy. I just feel so helpless, I signed up to be there in sickness and in health and I cant do a damn thing for her My wife has become a sick granny!

What is this baby doing to my woman!!??

You're just about to hit the 2nd trimester mate, and it "should" calm down a bit then. For some women it doesn't and some it does. I know on herself's last pregnancy, she was very sick on the first trimester and then she got a nice break for the 2nd.

Differs from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. This is my gf's 2nd pregnancy in as many years and its completely different from the first one. She was in bits for the first one and its only the last week or two of this one has she been feeling out of sorts, and she's due next week

Sounds like this is her first pregnancy which always seems to hit the hardest, and realistically, all you can do is be prepared. Keep sick bags in the car and plan for walks taking alot longer. And keep your fingers crossed the 2nd trimester kicks in soon!

January

If she's getting dizzy when she's walking etc I'd mention it to her GP/consultant next time she see's them

Trotter

Supercell wrote: »

When does the sickness and puking end?!! She's 13 weeks and 2 days now and still puking daily and has zero energy. Any car journey = puke. Any walk longer than 100 metres = she feels tired and wants to sit down for a few minutes. Look up and she feels dizzy. I just feel so helpless, I signed up to be there in sickness and in health and I cant do a damn thing for her My wife has become a sick granny!

What is this baby doing to my woman!!??

When my missis was getting sick at everything from the smell of cut grass to the mention of mushrooms, it took its toll! I eventually realised she didnt want me to do anything or to fix the situation. She wanted me to sit there and be cried and moaned at.. like one of those big nodding dogs. That seemed to make it all better

badgerhowlin

Supercell wrote: »

When does the sickness and puking end?!! She's 13 weeks and 2 days now and still puking daily and has zero energy. Any car journey = puke. Any walk longer than 100 metres = she feels tired and wants to sit down for a few minutes. Look up and she feels dizzy. I just feel so helpless, I signed up to be there in sickness and in health and I cant do a damn thing for her My wife has become a sick granny!

What is this baby doing to my woman!!??

Just wait till she starts the next phase of the pregnancy. Which I like to call “The smell bit”! Then you will be thinking what is my wife trying to do to me!!!

O and i have need told to tell you i know how you feel, and now i have a sore arm :mad:

Radiotower

Supercell wrote: »

When does the sickness and puking end?!! She's 13 weeks and 2 days now and still puking daily and has zero energy. Any car journey = puke. Any walk longer than 100 metres = she feels tired and wants to sit down for a few minutes. Look up and she feels dizzy. I just feel so helpless, I signed up to be there in sickness and in health and I cant do a damn thing for her My wife has become a sick granny!

What is this baby doing to my woman!!??

My wife was so sick from about week 6 she didn't work with the exception of 5-6 weeks in the middle of the pregnacy but then she had to leave work again till the end. I was out of work too for six months from week 6 too so we together 24/7. I have to say it has put me off having a second alot more than its put her off. I just dont know how she could look after a 2 year old if she was that sick again as I'm back in work..

It's well worth it at end of day though

Supercell

A day without puking!! Could this be the start of something wonderful!
Thanks guys, puking, crying or whatever we'll get through it, easy for me to say, as she constantly reminds me!!

freudiangirl

Supercell wrote: »

A day without puking!! Could this be the start of something wonderful!
Thanks guys, puking, crying or whatever we'll get through it, easy for me to say, as she constantly reminds me!!

i know your pain... i only started the puking in the last few weeks due to being ill ( we are 35 weeks now) i actually have sympathy for the men- putting up with us women not knowing whats wrong with us

:cool:

Supercell

Well another day gone and she says she feels almost normal, no puking now for two days in a row and we actually went for a walk in the park today! Seems like it was darkest before the dawn, hopefully thats all behind us now!
Next time I'm counting down the minutes and days to 13 weeks and 3 days preggers

She is far happier and the world is full of sunshine and joy again (thank God!!)

irishmotorist

I've been reading through these for a good while but never contributed, despite being occasionally tempted. I suppose I'm not a big talker. Perhaps I should have contributed - just how I'm feeling, what was going on etc. It would help with the general community of us 'outsiders' (males) and provide a bit of support to those who are going through similar things.

Anyway, my little son was born this morning. There was a LOT of work by his Mam getting up to that point, but despite his head being down, he was facing up (Mam's tummy) rather than down (Mam's back) and he just didn't want to turn around despite the contractions etc. All's well that ends well, decision was made for c-section and he was delivered shortly after that decision. He's a little beaut and, for me, the encouragement I got about how it will feel to be a dad etc. doesn't come near what it feels like. Not even 1 million miles near it. And that's on a large scale map!

Also, I would like to raise a toast to the women in our lives who do this fantastic job to 'cultivate' and deliver beautiful children. Hip Hip...

Synchronicity

irishmotorist wrote: »

for me, the encouragement I got about how it will feel to be a dad etc. doesn't come near what it feels like. Not even 1 million miles near it. And that's on a large scale map!

Also, I would like to raise a toast to the women in our lives who do this fantastic job to 'cultivate' and deliver beautiful children. Hip Hip...

...hooray!

That's good to hear. Apprehensive I won't be as blown away as I should be!

irishmotorist

I think you'd need to be some sort of stone to not feel some combination of happiness / joy / pride (in your woman) / concern / relief and I'm sure many others that I'm not thinking of right now. In fact, all I can think of right now is his little face

Supercell

We got a scan today in the Euromedic clinic and all went great
The baby was moving around and we got to listen to its heartbeat, really amazing experience.

I really feel like a dad now, kind of scary to be honest!!

Ms2011

Congrats Supercell, I was having my scan at exactly the same time ( 8:55 ) as your OH this morning and I am also 14 weeks, how weird is that

14 week scan.jpg

jam and toast

Hi all, just wanted to introduce myself, I've had a read through some of this thread (though not all 43 pages!)

My wife and I are expecting our first baby, just about 8 weeks gone now. All going well so far, no morning sickness (yet), just tiredness and headaches. I'm really excited and terrified about it all, though mostly excited I think!

Anyhow, just wanted to say hi. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread, it's good to know there's a place for Irish fathers-to-be to chat and ask questions. Cheers!

mickydcork

Congrats Jam and Toast.

Just wanted to introduce myself also.

Just found out my wife is expecting. She is 6 weeks pregnant.

I am absolutely delighted! Totally excited, not at all scared (yet).

The only thing is it feels a bit unreal at the moment! It's such early doors I suppose.

Wife is doing fine at the moment - no major negative symptoms, maybe just tiredness, although they say this week is when morning sickness kicks in.

RedXIV

Congrats to the lads who just found out they are to be dads!

Herself was due yesterday, am on edge here in work waiting for a call or something telling me to go. arghhhhh, I'm not built for this suspense!!!

staker

Best of luck RedXIV!
It's not easy waiting for something you've no control over:)

After a long time trying(3.5 years) and been given a 1% chance of conception,we're expecting our first in March-all going well so far. Broke the news 2 weeks ago,everybody was so happy for us it's unreal.
No real sickness,just that OH suffers periodic migraine and gets no relief from physio or exercising and really suffers when they come on..

mickydcork

Congrats Staker.

Best of luck with it all!

badgerhowlin

RedXIV wrote: »

Congrats to the lads who just found out they are to be dads!

Herself was due yesterday, am on edge here in work waiting for a call or something telling me to go. arghhhhh, I'm not built for this suspense!!!

Red i take it that you have been mad busy with the baby to let us know that she had it.
But if you get a min between the changing the nappies and the feeding let us know how you got on.

red menace

Up to week 18 now
Poor wife is still very bad with nausea and sickness.
We were back in the hospital 2 weeks ago for dehydration due to not being able to keep anything down.
Still the medication is helping a lot this past week.

Feel so sorry for the Mrs sometimes I dont know what is worse for her, the sickness or me fluttering helplessly around and being absolutely feck all use

Tabnabs

One tip for dads who have to park for extended periods near Holles St. There is an empty office block on Gratten Lane (the tiniest little road halfway down Gratten street). http://g.co/maps/t5qa4

The developer/builder has stuck in a parking meter and there's loads of parking (surface and underground) for €2 per hour up to a max of €10 for the day. It says 7am-11pm but I arrived just after 6am and it was open. A grand quiet spot only 5 mins from the hospital.

One request of the dad's if I can be cheeky. If you step out of the curtained cubicle to take or make a phone call, remember that the other side of the other curtains are mums and babies resting. Just because you're not disturbing your mrs...

January

badgerhowlin wrote: »

Red i take it that you have been mad busy with the baby to let us know that she had it.
But if you get a min between the changing the nappies and the feeding let us know how you got on.

This! I was in the Rotunda the 03/04/05 of October, so if you and wifey were there, let me know, we could have bumped into each other!

DUBACC

Congrats to all the new dads and dads to be! My little girl is now 4 1/2 months old and getting bigger and louder every day!

To those who think you wont be able to cope - you will, once you get handed a little bundle in the delivery room you will just know what to do (after lots of help it must be said from family and nurses) The help is there - ask for it!
To those who think they wont be 'bowled over' by the experience - remember this is not Hollywood. It's not an 'oscar speech' moment full of tears and bullsht! It's a tender moment shared with your OH witnessing the miracle that is creating a new life together. I was quite numb when i was handed our little girl - the build-up of emotions after that is quite an experience!
To those dads to be who worry about the birth and seeing your wife/OH in pain - i am as protective as they come about my wifey but to see her struggle and fight during childbirth was amazing. You are just in awe of what your special lady can do - and you thought men were stronger? Ha!

Anyway - i thought i'd pop back on to this thread and share my thoughts.

part time punk

So Mrs Punk had our second three weeks ago today in the Coombe. Beautiful baby girl. Mam and baby both doing well, in total awe of my wife, she really does rock. Toddler has been pretty good so far, loves kissing her sister, but there has been the occassional box. Hoping second borns must develop tougher Still feels a little strange referring to the 'kids'!

red menace

20 week scan yesterday.
Baby looks good and healthy strong hearbeat and all present and correct
We couldn't find out the sex of the baby because it was too busy dancing.
Little legs were flying

killiank

Scan at 34 weeks yesterday & the baby is weighing in at 5lbs 9ozs at the minute so looks like it will be a big baby or small turkey.

Thankfully looks like wife wont require C Section (which she didnt want) so all good news.

Also had the last of the ante natal classes yesterday. In my opinion the ones I went to were worth while (& a bit of an eye opener in some cases) so would recommend to fathers to be to try to make them.