The Fathers Thread

thee glitz

PandaPoo wrote: »

Does anyone have any tips for my husband? We're having a baby in the next two weeks and he's looking for practical advice, the books are great but obviously long and the message gets lost!

I got a booklet from somewhere on the below.

http://www.johnsonsbaby.com/preparing-for-baby/first-10-days-baby-basics

Marty McFly

PandaPoo wrote: »

Does anyone have any tips for my husband? We're having a baby in the next two weeks and he's looking for practical advice, the books are great but obviously long and the message gets lost!

I think the best advice is to just relax the build up to the first child does leave you very anxious at times the thoughts of that little person whose life you hold in your hands can be quite scary and daunting.

But you'll be suprised just how naturally it comes to you once you get to hold and see them all them fears will quickly dissappear. Just make sure to enjoy every moment even the tough sleepless nights were all they want is a cuddle because they won't last long.

brianblaze

I had zero experience with babies til this year" I've been lucky enough that my in laws had a baby the day after we found out! Ben getting practise in there when I can.

Gender scan today. Equal parts excited and anxious!

How's the new arrival Theeglitz?

thee glitz

brianblaze wrote: »

I had zero experience with babies til this year" I've been lucky enough that my in laws had a baby the day after we found out! Ben getting practise in there when I can.

Gender scan today. Equal parts excited and anxious!

How's the new arrival Theeglitz?

That is lucky! Congrats, I hope the scan went well. Our babs is gone into reverse but the hospital are keeping her in til she arrives.

brianblaze

All good in the baby-hood! So relieved! Just over 4 months to go!

Pawwed Rig

PandaPoo wrote: »

Does anyone have any tips for my husband? We're having a baby in the next two weeks and he's looking for practical advice, the books are great but obviously long and the message gets lost!

The most useful thing he could do is a cpr/first aid course. Hopefully never use it but if needed is priceless.

thee glitz

Ms glitz was allowed home at 4pm yesterday and called back at 4am. All should unfold soon

brianblaze

Best of luck! As my someone to me the other day;'when the time comes, stay north of the border, and roll with the punches!'

antodeco

Best of luck and I hope mammy and baby are well :-)

thee glitz

I'm delighted to report ms glitz was induced in the morning and gave birth 6hrs later to our little princess. I was there near all that time and it was amazing. Be there if at all possible lads! I cant thank the staff in Cavan General enough.

brianblaze

Big congrats to both of you!

tobsey

Mrs Tobsey is expecting number 4 in March. We've a 9 year old girl, 2 year old boy and 1 year old girl. So we'll have 3 under 3 in 6 months time! This one, like the first :pac:, was a bit of a surprise. We had always planned on having another just didn't expect it so soon. We've been lucky that they've all been very good babies. Happy, healthy and sleeping the whole night within 12 weeks. The boy did it from 8 weeks.

It's going to be a bit of a struggle as my wife will probably give up work. We have had au pairs since the second was born but we're not going to expect an au pair to look after three pre-schoolers. Hopefully when they start school she'll get back to work.

We've a fairly average size three bed house so it'll be a bit of a squeeze and with my wife not working it'll definitely put on hold any chance of trading up. Hopefully when she gets back working we'll be able to get something bigger before the younger three get into their teens.

Someone mentioned above the Baby Jogger City Select as a double buggy. I'd highly recommend it. It certainly feels more compact than most double buggies. I know the Phil and Ted ones are very small but we don't like that one of the children is buried underneath looking at the back of a seat. We got ours from Tralee Nursery Supplies and they delivered it to Dublin. They were the cheapest I could find in Ireland and I'd highly recommend them. You'd want a decent sized boot as the wheels are big when you fold it down. It's possible to take all the bits and bobs apart and fold the seats in half which was handy when we went on holidays, but you don't want to be doing it every time you go to the shops.

Some simple things I'd advise for first time dads:

Always have everything you need for changing the baby before you start. Towel down, wipes/sponge & water, cream.

Always have a spare soother with a cover on in the bag.

Never use a walker with wheels, the children usually walk on their tippy toes after using them. We have a similar toy that they sit into without wheels. It's great for when they're at the age when they might start rolling off a couch or rocker. It gives you a minute to go to the loo or whatever safe in the knowledge they'll be OK.

You don't need to smack the baby's back to wind them. Sit them on your knee and put one hand effectively around their throat, but pulled back away from the neck. Their jaw bone should rest on your thumb and main finger so their chin sits on the the U-shaped part of your hand where the thumb and main finger join. Then place your other hand on their back and push in their back and lift their chin so that the spine is perfectly straight and vertical. Then just wait. Trust me, as someone said above, they're sturdier than you think! Another good way is to hold up high so their arms are on your shoulder, you end up with the odd messy t-shirt after this one though!

A great way for men to settle a baby is to sit down with your legs together with the baby lying on your lap facing you. Then just rock your legs from side to side. Sometimes holding the back of the head in the palm of your hands helps. Men usually get longer out of this because they're taller.

Baby vests have a weird shape in the shoulders. They are sown in a way that the back overlaps the front where they join the sleeve. This allows the vest to be taken off by pulling it down over the body rather than opening it from the bottom and pulling it over the head. This is invaluable when the nappy leaks and there's s**t everywhere! Trust me it happens. It means you don't have to try get it over their head causing even more mess. We were on our third before we heard about this and couldn't believe we hadn't realised it before.

Start packing the hospital bag at 32 weeks and have it finished at 36 weeks at the latest. When it all kicks off you don't want to be freaking out worrying if you have everything. Get it done and then you'll be ready to go when the time comes.

Marty McFly

^^^^ excellent post.


The legs thing was a gift for me and like you said I got much longer out of it than herself did.

It took us about 6 months to realise the vest thing well we didn't realise it saw it on sone Facebook page makes changing a messy one so much easier and avoids you smearing **** all over the little ones face.


3 under 3 madness and I thought I was bad having Irish twins.

tHE vAGGABOND

Mrs Vagga has the series of sessions about gestational diabetes this week, shocked that..

1) Letter we received says partners are expressly forbidden to attend? It's a session with a dietitian, a physio and someone else? It makes sense to have someone else there? Hard to take loads of stuff in at medical appointments...

2) Second, many of the suggest diet changes are utter rubbish? Low-fat yogurt is one which jumps out at me, 99% of low-fat yogurts are higher in sugar than 'normal' but only lower in fat - how does that help someone potentially with diabetes? Mrs V is eating a better diet than what is suggested 6 days out of 7 already, maybe said diet would indeed help folks with a TERRIBLE diet, but not many other folks? I guess I'm just a bBt shocked out 'out of touch' some of the suggestions are? [or am I out of touch, deffo possible!!]

Apart from that, 30 weeks this week and all is well

tobsey

I'd say that (1) is mostly for operational reasons. As in space might be at a premium where these appointments take place.

For (2) I think you'd be surprised at how poor some patient's diets are. In any case it's nearly impossible to get and agreement as to what constitutes a good diet. I think they're saying that low-fat yogurt is a preferred snack compared to a mars bar.

brianblaze

On our first visit to the Combe they had a quick medical with Mrs Blaze and I wasn't allowed in. No partners were but turns out they ask about spousal abuse in there. "Is your partner supportive of this pregnancy" and "has he ever been physically abusive!" Turns out its standard practise now. Fair play to them, sure it's saved a few people!

Pawwed Rig

brianblaze wrote: »

"Is your partner supportive of this pregnancy" and "has he ever been physically abusive!" Turns out its standard practise now. Fair play to them, sure it's saved a few people!

Seems like a strange thing to ask imo. Is the purpose to protect the child or the woman I wonder as there are zero similar checks on mothers who are just as likely to abuse children as the father.

Diamond Doll

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Seems like a strange thing to ask imo. Is the purpose to protect the child or the woman I wonder as there are zero similar checks on mothers who are just as likely to abuse children as the father.

I think it's more out of concern that the father could beat the mother while she's pregnant.

As far as I'm aware it's fairly standard in most hospitals, it makes sense really.

Also you never know what other issues a pregnant woman might want to raise with the hospital staff with her partner not present ... just off the top of my head, say for example if she'd had an abortion in the past that he wasn't aware of and that she didn't want to tell him about. Or even just any embarrassing or private medical condition etc, I know the father will usually be aware of something like that, but not necessarily in cases where it's a relatively new relationship or an unplanned pregnancy.

spottybananas

Pregnancy is often when domestic abuse begins or worsens so they ask women in private about it. On the maternity ward where I had my son there was a sign beside the toilet (as in in the bathroom on the wall right beside the toilet roll) with a list of numbers to call if you need help, Samaritans, a 24 hour women's refuge, taxi, etc. Thought it was very clever, in the one place a vulnerable woman/new mum would be alone and could make a call secretly.

pooch90

Also gives the mother the opportunity to disclose if partner may not be the father of the child, discuss STIs etc.
Standard in CUMH to go in alone first too. Great policy IMO, even though I was slightly taken aback when they said hubby couldn't come in initially. But made sense once these questions were asked.

Marty McFly

tobsey wrote: »

I
For (2) I think you'd be surprised at how poor some patient's diets are. In any case it's nearly impossible to get and agreement as to what constitutes a good diet. I think they're saying that low-fat yogurt is a preferred snack compared to a mars bar.

This bothers me ok it may teach someone how to eat better than a Mars bar but why teach someone to replace one bad habit with another.

If your going to give nutritional advice make it the best advice possible so many people today eating crap because of things like this and fad weight loss gimics.


Nutrition should be thought in schools from a young age so kids and people can understand what there putting into there bodies and the effects it has.

tHE vAGGABOND

Nutrition should be thought in schools from a young age so kids and people can understand what they're putting into there bodies and the effects it has.

Yes indeed..

I lost a lot of weight a number of years ago, and the best advice I got was from an older gentleman, and its as simple as "if it's been grown or killed, fill your boots and do what you want, if its been processed or through a factory try and avoid" and he also had the pearl of wizdom, "the new fad diet, only eat stuff your grandparents could have eaten and you can't go far wrong"

HUGE Tangent - Baby Stuff in Aldi from this Thursday

tobsey

My favourite for managing your diet is don't buy any products in a supermarket that contain more than one ingredient. Buy the ingredients and make it yourself. Obviously you can't follow it to the letter but the less processed foods you buy the better off you'll be.

pooch90

Marty McFly wrote: »

Nutrition should be thought in schools from a young age so kids and people can understand what there putting into there bodies and the effects it has.

Sorry, teacher's hat on here, the parents should take responsibility for their children's nutrition. I have recently almost had war with a mother who is getting her child assessed for ADHD through the school yet sent the 5 year old in with coke, chocolate biscuits and crisps for their lunch. Outrage when I refused to let the child consume that crap in my classroom (I let the food go as I couldn't starve him but took the coke and replaced it with water). I got a snotty letter claiming that he didn't like water, complete facepalm moment. What child will say they like water when dumbass mammy will give him coke instead?? Sorry </rant>
While a lot of adults don't eat healthily, the basic principals of nutrition aren't that complicated and shouldn't automatically be the teacher's problem. It is covered in Science and SPHE at primary level. After that, parents' issue.

tHE vAGGABOND wrote: »

Yes indeed..

I lost a lot of weight a number of years ago, and the best advice I got was from an older gentleman, and its as simple as "if it's been grown or killed, fill your boots and do what you want, if its been processed or through a factory try and avoid" and he also had the pearl of wizdom, "the new fad diet, only eat stuff your grandparents could have eaten and you can't go far wrong"

Isn't that the basic premise of the Paleo diet that was all the rage last year? very true though. We used to be demons for jars of sauce, curries, bolognese etc. Once we started making them from scratch and realised what real food tasted like, the weight was much easier to control. The amount of sugar in that stuff is sickening.

Marty McFly

pooch90 wrote: »

Sorry, teacher's hat on here, the parents should take responsibility for their children's nutrition. I have recently almost had war with a mother who is getting her child assessed for ADHD through the school yet sent the 5 year old in with coke, chocolate biscuits and crisps for their lunch. Outrage when I refused to let the child consume that crap in my classroom (I let the food go as I couldn't starve him but took the coke and replaced it with water). I got a snotty letter claiming that he didn't like water, complete facepalm moment. What child will say they like water when dumbass mammy will give him coke instead?? Sorry </rant>
While a lot of adults don't eat healthily, the basic principals of nutrition aren't that complicated and shouldn't automatically be the teacher's problem. It is covered in Science and SPHE at primary level. After that, parents' issue.

Isn't that the basic premise of the Paleo diet that was all the rage last year? very true though. We used to be demons for jars of sauce, curries, bolognese etc. Once we started making them from scratch and realised what real food tasted like, the weight was much easier to control. The amount of sugar in that stuff is sickening.

I get what your saying about it being the parents problem but as I see it unfortunately many parents don't even understand nutrition therefore you have a vicious cycle of obesity and diabetes.

Why not teach children nutrition from an early age so they can understand thus helping there parents understand it and more importantly in the long term help reduce health issues? After two or three generatioms of proper nutrionalist education I'm sure you would see a vast reduction in cancer, heart disease diabetes etc.

There will always be some parents/children who don't want to be helped or who ignore the obvious but that shouldn't stop the majority getting the help and education they need.

If anyone watched jamie oliver sugar rush his push to impose tax on high sugar contents foods such as they have done in mexico is something I strongly agree with its amazing how food companies are getting away with marketing towards kids and make there brand look cool it's a repeat of cigarette companies in the 50's.

On food itself it's so much better and satisfying to make food from scratch it tastes better you can experiment more once you understand flavours and no hidden sugars or chemicals you control what you put into your own body.

Sadly a lot of people are just lazy and claim they don't have time

pooch90

Completely agree and get where you are coming from, just every issue in society seems to be shifted over to teachers to tackle. Web safety, road safety, bullying, nutrition, bathroom hygiene etc. It just gets on your nerves after a while. Even if a child is bullied in a sports club, it is actually our responsibility too, WTF??
Sorry for dragging off topic.
Back on topic, I keep at hubby to join this thread. We have a scan tomorrow at 22 weeks, he's very excited, our first bubba. Great lists of tips here from dads. We are both clueless (although, me moreso!!)

Marty McFly

pooch90 wrote: »

Completely agree and get where you are coming from, just every issue in society seems to be shifted over to teachers to tackle. Web safety, road safety, bullying, nutrition, bathroom hygiene etc. It just gets on your nerves after a while. Even if a child is bullied in a sports club, it is actually our responsibility too, WTF??
Sorry for dragging off topic.
Back on topic, I keep at hubby to join this thread. We have a scan tomorrow at 22 weeks, he's very excited, our first bubba. Great lists of tips here from dads. We are both clueless (although, me moreso!!)

I can see why you'd be frustrated bathroom hygiene, Web safety etc is a bit much.

Maybe they could introduce education on nutrition in line with psychical education which as is should be overhauled in the school system.

Anyways congrats on you impending arrival our own is due in 3 weeks so exciting times ahead.

pooch90

Marty McFly wrote: »

I can see why you'd be frustrated bathroom hygiene, Web safety etc is a bit much.

Maybe they could introduce education on nutrition in line with psychical education which as is should be overhauled in the school system.

Would certainly be more useful than some of the aquatics rubbish in the PE curriculum (where we are to teach the theory of swimming when people can't afford lessons or nearest pool is 30minute drive away!)

Marty McFly wrote: »

Anyways congrats on you impending arrival our own is due in 3 weeks so exciting times ahead.

Best of luck with it Marty and Mrs McFly. It's so close for you, will be great to get your mitts on that little bundle. We are still living in the 'sure it's months away' bubble of ignorance for now :pac:

robinph

Can't get my head round the "percentiles" numbers that they come up with when measuring and weighing the kid. I understand percentages, but people seem to talk as if a high percentile number is a good thing. Surely the average is 50% and anything heading towards 90% in once direction or 10% in the other means that there is potentially some issues with the kid being at the extreme end of the scale. The scale and how it is talked about don't make any sense to me.

There doesn't seem to be a section on the charts in the kids book for numbers in the range 50% and down, only for numbers 50% and up. So how can 50% be the average? But if 100 is the target to aim for then why do the scales not go up to 150? Someone somewhere is trying to cause confusion with nonsense numbers as far as I can tell. Asking any of the health visitors about it and they clearly have no understanding of numbers other than a little chart to help them convert kgs to lbs and they then smile and change the topic.

Not concerned about the kid being at the wrong end of the target range for their age or anything, but the numbers that they quote back to you that it's great that the kid is in the X percentile is rubbish as far as I can tell.

Diamond Doll

As far as I remember it's only initially cause for concern if the child is in the top 5 or bottom 5 percentile, that's when they'll consider doing further checks.

I think that what they mostly look for after that is consistency. E.g. my son was in the 90th + percentile for height, and in the 25th ish percentile for weight, when he was born. This remained unchanged at all of his checks. So while it was fine that he was at a lower percentile for weight, it would probably have become an issue if he was say 75th percentile at birth and then dropped way down.