The Fathers Thread

napapa

Well, my longterm girlfriend is over 6 weeks pregnant, complete shock!:eek: Just found out this week, one of the longest weeks of my life, with pregnancy tests, doctors visits, parents finding out....only getting time to think about it now. I'm pretty nervous probably because I feel helpless, at the same time I'm excited. We had planned on having a family, both of us are 28, but probably down the line (2-3 years or so).

We're keeping things on the QT for the time being, but its quite hard talking to mates without telling them the (good) news. My GF is asking me loads of questions but I'm not really sure of any of the answers, i've been on the web all morning reading blogs and all sorts...We've both got pretty decent jobs and a home so we should be ok on the financial side of things.

Was talking to the old man last night over few pints but he can't contain himself with excitement, like a child at Christmas...I really need to talk to someone who has gone through this recently.

lukesmom

napapa wrote: »

Well, my longterm girlfriend is over 6 weeks pregnant, complete shock!:eek: Just found out this week, one of the longest weeks of my life, with pregnancy tests, doctors visits, parents finding out....only getting time to think about it now. I'm pretty nervous probably because I feel helpless, at the same time I'm excited. We had planned on having a family, both of us are 28, but probably down the line (2-3 years or so).

We're keeping things on the QT for the time being, but its quite hard talking to mates without telling them the (good) news. My GF is asking me loads of questions but I'm not really sure of any of the answers, i've been on the web all morning reading blogs and all sorts...We've both got pretty decent jobs and a home so we should be ok on the financial side of things.

Was talking to the old man last night over few pints but he can't contain himself with excitement, like a child at Christmas...I really need to talk to someone who has gone through this recently.

Firstly congratulations!!!!!!!!!! Its the best thing in the world and the most important job you will ever have - being a daddy! From a womans point of view and I just had a baby girl 9 weeks ago and am mother to an 8 year old son, just be there for her! Practically and emotionally. By practically I mean helping to do those jobs around the house when she is just not up to it with the tiredness, and by emotionally I mean listening to how she is feeling as its a very emotional and can be a scary time for first time mothers. Its a big change for both of you but particularly for your girlfriend whos going to be going through major physical and hormonal changes. The first 3 months consist of tiredness and with the influx of hundreds of extra hormones the mood can be very up and down. The next 3 months (if she's one of the lucky ones) is usually the most balanced time where she will feel alot more settled. The last three months brings alot of tiredness, mood swings and the obvious physical growth!!!!!!!!! But boy is it exciting! especially all the shopping!!!!!!!!!! Its the most wonderful time ever when you meet your baby, your very own baby you have created together, amazing. Enjoy it!

napapa

lukesmom wrote: »

But boy is it exciting! especially all the shopping!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the pointers and oh boy can I not wait for all that baby shopping...;)

?Cee?view

Napapa, I'm at the other end, so to speak. Just over three weeks to go and I can't contain the excitement.

I was in a different situation to you at the start, married and child was definitely planned, but nonetheless I felt the same confusion, fear and anxiety. It seems that's very normal and I can tell you it changes to complete and utter excitement!

One thing (from someone with literally.....months of experience). Pregnancy can be awful for the woman - I hear terrible stories. But a lot of it is down to luck and a lot of it can be helped along as well. My wife is bloody wonderful. She's been walking every day and swimming as often as she can. She has had no pain and in general she's in great from. Now I know she's lucky, but in a way she's made her luck.

I really believe that the best thing you can do for your girlfriend is encourage her to be active. Get out walking with her, go swimming, whatever. I'm lucky that my wife is very motivated herself 'cause I'm a lazy bastard!

Enjoy the next few months and wait 'til you feel the kicks. It's mad!

DublinWriter

churchview wrote: »

I really believe that the best thing you can do for your girlfriend is encourage her to be active.

...or at least be prepared to go out on midnite runs for snacks caused by cravings!

My own missus' tastes went completely on their head, food she used to love made her physically sick. I was taking out the bins one morning and she found the smell 'nice'.

As a prospective father, all you can do is be a support-resource for your gf/wife. I found talking to other people the most helpful thing of all, most of the books we bought still remain unread.

Our little lad is 17 weeks now and I love getting out of bed in the morning, going over to his cot and having him giving me a great big smile back.

napapa

just got a reminder that Glastonbury tickets are on sale 3rd October...won't be making that trip. Some strange feelings in my head.....Going to tell some of my closer mates cause I sure need to talk about this.

Another thing, is it just me or are there pregnant women everywhere these days....ever since I found out its like i've been given a 6th sense...I SEE PREGNANT WOMEN :eek:

They're coming out of the trees

Nevyn

Congratultions napapa, hope it all goes well and you end with a happy healthy baby.

napapa

lets hope its a healthy baby boy
....so I don't have to worry about all the other healthy boys

ThePiedPiper

Congrats Napapa,
I was in your situation a couple of years ago with our first. We had just gotten engaged and found out a month later my OH was pregnant. We were shocked, but after a couple of days really excited. We just told my OHs mum before the 14 week scan, and told my family and everyone else after that once we knew everything was well.

There's loads you can do for your OH over the next few months. Be proactive, get a baby book from the library, read about pregnancy issues. Register with Babycenter to get weekly updates on what is happening with the pregnancy. Get Bio-oil to rub on her belly every night, when she has no stretch marks afterwards, you'll be the best in the world. Your gf will prob be stiff and sore for most of her pregnancy, a 20 minute back/bum/leg massage at night will be very much appreciated. Also, in the next couple of months, you can start looking at buggys, sterilisers, changing tables, clearing out a room in the house for a baby room. Also, if you've any nieces or nephews, practice changing nappies and making bottles. You'd be amazed how many people don't know how to change a nappy until they've got a baby, and newborns are quite impatient!!! When my OH stopped breastfeeding, we'd no idea how to make up a bottle so certainly it would've been handy to just watch somebody do it once or twice.

There are times as an expectant father that can be difficult but the more you get involved, the better it will be for you. You're in for a rollercoaster but a very exciting one that will totally change your life, your priorities and most likely bring you even closer together to your girlfriend. And, the moment your baby arrives will be the most amazing feeling of joy and happiness.

Congrats again OP.

napapa

Thanks for all the support folks, much appreciated.

Was out book shopping yesterday. Seriously scary reading...1 out of every 4 pregnancies results in miscarriage..wtf :eek: We have decided to keep things to ourselves until after scan. We got the bio-oil also, started rubbing that on last night.

I've got to go away for three weeks in November with work, the OH doesn't seem to mind but you know women, never really tell you what's going on until the last minute. Should I try get out of this considering the pregnancy?

ThePiedPiper

napapa wrote: »

Thanks for all the support folks, much appreciated.

Was out book shopping yesterday. Seriously scary reading...1 out of every 4 pregnancies results in miscarriage..wtf :eek: We have decided to keep things to ourselves until after scan. We got the bio-oil also, started rubbing that on last night.

I've got to go away for three weeks in November with work, the OH doesn't seem to mind but you know women, never really tell you what's going on until the last minute. Should I try get out of this considering the pregnancy?

That 1 in 4 stat probably includes a lot of pregnancies that never even reach the first month, so are never discovered. Given your OHs age of 28, the risk would be much less also, than if she were let's say, close to 40. So, don't stress out too much about it. But, by all means, keep it to yourselves until probably after the first scan because if the worst were to happen, it would be much harder to deal with if more people knew about it.

Regarding going away in November, I suppose that's something only the two of ye can know yourselves but my hunch would be to carry on with whatever plans you've made. It's important to remember that your girlfriend isn't sick. She doesn't need around the clock attention. From your own point of view, there's a good chance that next year, the year after, etc, you'll be very reluctant to go on 3 weeks away when there's a child in the house. I can barely drag myself away from my wife and child for 2 days!!! If the trip was in her third trimester, then I'd advise to stay at home, but in her first trimester, she'll probably be happy enough.

napapa

RunForestRun wrote: »

That 1 in 4 stat probably includes a lot of pregnancies that never even reach the first month, so are never discovered. Given your OHs age of 28, the risk would be much less also, than if she were let's say, close to 40. So, don't stress out too much about it. But, by all means, keep it to yourselves until probably after the first scan because if the worst were to happen, it would be much harder to deal with if more people knew about it.

Regarding going away in November, I suppose that's something only the two of ye can know yourselves but my hunch would be to carry on with whatever plans you've made. It's important to remember that your girlfriend isn't sick. She doesn't need around the clock attention. From your own point of view, there's a good chance that next year, the year after, etc, you'll be very reluctant to go on 3 weeks away when there's a child in the house. I can barely drag myself away from my wife and child for 2 days!!! If the trip was in her third trimester, then I'd advise to stay at home, but in her first trimester, she'll probably be happy enough.

I'm hoping once I get this trip out of the way, I won't have to go on anymore extended trips in the next year.
Just back from a coffee, was reading the times and supposedly it costs 250K to bring up a child :eek:, think i'll start playing the lotto....I'm starting to sound like my Dad!!!

Bill2673

I'd agree

As regards work, get whatever travelling you need to do done before the baby arrives.

Especially as you have no other children, (i.e. she can more or less rest when you're not there, compared to if she had kids to mind).

Bear in mind that you may/ will need flexibility with work after the baby arrives, plus it will be much harder if you away on work after the baby is born than when she is pregnant, so better to get the travel out of the way now (as long as your OH happy with this).

Sounds like you are taking it seriously already tbh.

bigneacy

found out a few days me and the girlfriend are expecting in may.... she's only 7 weeks but we're over the moon!

Trotter

Congrats lads!

28 weeks here now.. the pressure to paint the room is growing!

ThePiedPiper

Congrats Bigneacy. Very exciting times ahead. The first scan is a fantastic experience. Try and get plenty of time to yourselves relaxing and maybe a holiday or two in before next May. You'll have a busy time when baby arrives. My wife's halfway with number two now. Everything's going well so far.

DUBACC

Congrats to all the lads here. Myself and Mrs Dubacc found out last week we are expecting a new bundle next June! Am excited and terrified all at once! However, i got a panicked phone call in work last Wednesday from the mrs telling me she had a bit of brown blood. Tiny bits ever since. I'm nearly shaking with the stress of it all. We've been waiting 4 years for this and i cant believe it might be taken away from us so quickly!
Dont mean to be depressing everyone!:(

ThePiedPiper

DUBACC wrote: »

Congrats to all the lads here. Myself and Mrs Dubacc found out last week we are expecting a new bundle next June! Am excited and terrified all at once! However, i got a panicked phone call in work last Wednesday from the mrs telling me she had a bit of brown blood. Tiny bits ever since. I'm nearly shaking with the stress of it all. We've been waiting 4 years for this and i cant believe it might be taken away from us so quickly!
Dont mean to be depressing everyone!:(

Dubacc,

This sounds like it might be implantation bleeding. I think it can occur for about 1/4 or 1/3 women very early on in pregnancy so don't be too alarmed.

I would be suggesting to your OH to get herself in to her doctor to get it checked out. No point worrying yourselves. Stress isn't a good thing for newly pregnant women either so she should get herself checked out.

Hope things go smoothly for you.

DUBACC

Thanks Forest. We are booked in later this week for a scan so fingers crossed. OH woke up this morning with terrible nausea/sickness. Is it wrong to have a smile? :cool:

Good call on the implantation bleeding - did some research on it and sounds about right even though she is 6 weeks preg. Will know more on Wed.

lukesmom

Hey Dubacc firstly congratulations. No it could not be implantation bleeding if she is 6 weeks along. I had a baby girl 3 months ago. I had bleeding for the first 4 months of the pregnancy and it was not light by any means sorry for (too much information). And had a healthy baby girl. Some women do bleed during pregnancy such as myself. It is not always a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage years ago and she would know if this was happening as there would be cramping also. Try not worry this is perfectly normal especially since she has had the nausea!!!

DUBACC

Just an update - went for the scan last Thursday and all is well. Saw our little peanut with a healthy heartbeat of 120bpm. We both nearly collapsed with the relief!!

Many thanks Lukesmom for your kind words.

Dancor

I became a father this afternoon to a beautiful little girl

Its such a sureal feeling, ladys I dont envy you's at all.

Thanks for all the advice in this forum, some great posters here and its modded very well.

To all the gents here, enjoy every moment, its some feeling at the end of it all.

DUBACC

Congrats Dancor - that is great news! Hope the rest of us dads-to-be follow you over the next few months!

dekbhoy

Dancor wrote: »

I became a father this afternoon to a beautiful little girl

Its such a sureal feeling, ladys I dont envy you's at all.

Thanks for all the advice in this forum, some great posters here and its modded very well.

To all the gents here, enjoy every moment, its some feeling at the end of it all.

congratulations , hope to be in your shoes in around 5 weeks time , touch wood.......

Dancor

Best of luck lads.

chavezychavez

Hey guys,

Me missus is nearly 20 weeks in and she has been in bed for the last week solid with chronic back, leg and foot pain. Doctor has given her anti inflams for it, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better.

We went on a trip up the country 2 weeks ago, and the Doc put it down to too much time sitting in the car damaging the muscles in the lower back which support the baby. No mention of Sciatica by him at all, but all indications that I have seen point towards it.

Any of your other halves get this problem during their terms, and how did ye cope with it? Does it get better at any stage or are we in for a torrid second half?

ThePiedPiper

chavezychavez wrote: »

Hey guys,

Me missus is nearly 20 weeks in and she has been in bed for the last week solid with chronic back, leg and foot pain. Doctor has given her anti inflams for it, but it doesn't seem to be getting much better.

We went on a trip up the country 2 weeks ago, and the Doc put it down to too much time sitting in the car damaging the muscles in the lower back which support the baby. No mention of Sciatica by him at all, but all indications that I have seen point towards it.

Any of your other halves get this problem during their terms, and how did ye cope with it? Does it get better at any stage or are we in for a torrid second half?

Halfway there now. No, it shouldn't be a torrid time for you really. I'd recommend giving your OH plenty of massages of her lower back, bum and legs. It might do wonders for her. I did this for my wife for our first and she never suffered too much so it definitely helps. Doing the same now on pregnancy number 2 and again, at 22 weeks, no sore legs, bum or back, so there must be something there.

Nevyn

What has the hospital said about her condition?

chavezychavez

Thaedydal wrote: »

What has the hospital said about her condition?

We haven't been to the hospital about it yet, just the local family GP.

We were in a bit of a catch 22 situation there last week I wanted to take her back to the hosptial but the GP told her not to sit into a car for any length of and have complete bed rest. Not to mind that I don't think she would have been able to sit is a car seat that length of a car journey.

We are in for another scan tomorrow week, and by hook or by crook I'll get her there. Hopefully it'll have calmed down a bit by then, but I'll be bringing it up with them straight away.

napapa

Hey all, quick update,
Had the first scan today...nearly fell off my chair when the little fella (well could be a little girl too) popped up on the screen :P!!!!

I've seen some things in my life but this hands down beats them all...wasn't expecting him to be so big at 13 weeks...little arms and legs...whopper of a head and strong nasal cavity...hahaha...midwife reckons this is a good thing! I can only imagine the feeling when they arrive after 9 months...

brilou23

hey my girlfriend is 12 weeks on monday and we where told we wont be going for scan till 16 weeks is that normal amount time and how do u deal with mood swings oh godddddddddddd lol

angelfire9

brilou23 wrote: »

hey my girlfriend is 12 weeks on monday and we where told we wont be going for scan till 16 weeks is that normal amount time and how do u deal with mood swings oh godddddddddddd lol

Whatever you do, do NOT tell her "it's ok honey i know its your hormones"

I'm surprised my hubby isn't talking divorce yet :rolleyes:

Trotter

Lesson I learned today..

Lady - Spent an hour reading during the night.. couldnt sleep
Man - Try harder to nod off.. like dont grab the book as soon as you open your eyes..

Lady... GGRRRRAARR RRRRAAAAAARRRR etc.

Trotter

brilou23 wrote: »

hey my girlfriend is 12 weeks on monday and we where told we wont be going for scan till 16 weeks is that normal amount time and how do u deal with mood swings oh godddddddddddd lol

You dont.. They dont exist... Its your fault.. remember?

ParkRunner

I was just looking for advice as to what test is best to check if your partner is pregnant or not (a definitive answer basically). I would be absolutely over the moon if she is but don't want to pressure her into taking the test all the same.

The_Conductor

EF wrote: »

I was just looking for advice as to what test is best to check if your partner is pregnant or not (a definitive answer basically). I would be absolutely over the moon if she is but don't want to pressure her into taking the test all the same.

You can't do much better than the digital pregnancy test- however a blood test is the only definitive test, and would normally be done on a first visit to a maternity hospital, esp. if very early on.

January

EF wrote: »

I was just looking for advice as to what test is best to check if your partner is pregnant or not (a definitive answer basically). I would be absolutely over the moon if she is but don't want to pressure her into taking the test all the same.

First Response are fantastic. Test with the first mornings urine as the levels of HCG (pregnancy hormone), if present, are stronger in the morning as they get diluted throughout the day with intake of fluids.

brilou23

big day tomorrow we have go back for bloods as she is 12 weeks im ****tin it lol dunno why

Nevyn

Because there is so much you dont know and so much you feel that you dont' have any control over, but the more you educate yourself about whats going on the better it tends to get.

brilou23

lol anticlimax just took blood gave some leaflets 18 weeks till she goes for a scan seems to far away

How Strange

It's def frustrating for you and your oh. Perhaps buy yourselves a pregnancy book and read up on the changes that take place every week until wk18. It's not a substitue for a scan but it might help you feel aware of how your little bean is growing. On the plus side you'll get some suprise when you see it at 18wks. Ours was yawning, sticking its tongue out and doing somersaults.

The_Conductor

Its definitely a good idea. My wifey advised me yesterday that our little one is now the size of a raspberry- not sure about the association, but its nice to have little milestones you can take note of.

Trotter

It seems like yesterday that we were going from peanut to strawberry to orange etc..

We're certainly past that now given that she booted me in the arm this morning in bed!

Christmas day is the big day... the sight of Christmas trees is starting to freak me slightly

D78

Hi All,

So I just found out today my wife is pregnant, first time for us both. I'm both scared and grinning at the same time. The thing is that she works one side of the country where we also have a house and I work the other end of the country. Anyone out there in similar scenario - any advise would be great.

Darksaga87

This forum is great, ive spent hours reading loads of topics.

GF is now 20 weeks and seen my first scan the other day, She had seen 2 so far but id been working. Its amazing to see it. Makes it very real.

Pretty nervous at this stage. such a shame that the little one will brought into the world in such a terrible time. Hope we do the best we can.

Due on april 1st (April fools kiddo! ) Thanks for the forum, hope to learn loads!

omahaid

Hi all,

My wife is 18 weeks with no.2. Our first is 12 so she is incredibly excited. Me? As excited as the child The missus is starting to show now, think sickness is behind us so dunno what to do now...

How Strange

omahaid, just enjoy it and be there to help your oh when she needs it. I'm 29 weeks now and sometimes I text the hubby on the way home from work to say I'm tired and hungry so can he put the dinner on. In fairness he does alot of cooking and cleaning anyway.

Then you can start planning on getting your home ready for the new arrival. We're looking at changing things around abit to maximise space but it's nice to do all these things together especially for dad.

Oh and start putting your hands on her tummy; you should feel the kicks starting soon and that's wonderful.

Also congrats!!

glic83

My wife is 15 and 1/2 weeks gone,this is our 1st , had a scan last week in the maternity in Limerick was our 1st vist so had the bloods,scan,urine etc and chat with teh doctor, very nice and friendly over there no a bad word to say and we were only there just over 2 hours which i though was great as a friend of my in cork was in for 4 hours their 1st visit,scan at 14 weeks was amazing to see the difference since week 8 (we had a private scan done to make sure all was well) to see the size difference and the baby moving around and moving their arms..well i was proud as punch,very big learning curve ahead but reading up as much as we can and talking to people who have just had babies so its very helpful

irelandspurs

wife is 33 weeks now,she's alot moodier than she was on the first.

How Strange

glic83 and irelandspurs congrats!

Yes we pregnant wimmen tend to get moody at times. I was so p1ssed off yesterday, was on the brink of tears because my bus didn't go. What can u say? We've alot going on inside, most of us are constantly tired especially as we get heavier and probably have some back pain which never goes away until the babs arrives. On
top of that the heartburn is awful. Add worries about money, the economy and the future and you could have one moody pregnant mama on your hands.