MATURE LADY DRIVER ..... BRILLIANT

gillybeans

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

Insect Overlord

Love this joke

seanybiker

old one but brilliant.

Steve

Heard it before but it still made me lol!
Brillliant:D

FrCrilly

This reminds me of a true story I once heard.

A young man from the country (late teens, early 20s) drove up to Dublin. While driving around the Red Cow roundabout (before it’s present roadworks) he missed his exit. Instead of going around the roundabout again to make the exit, he decided to reverse. A car behind then came along and hit the back of his car (minor hit).

When the Gardai came along they first talked to the driver behind. They then came up to talk to the guy in front. The Garda said “You’re not going to believe this. That guy who hit the back of your car said you were reversing when he hit you. Off you go. I’ll deal with him”. (ie he told him to drive off not believing someone would be stupid enough to drive backwards on a roundabout).

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

FrCrilly wrote: »

This reminds me of a true story I once heard.

A young man from the country (late teens, early 20s) drove up to Dublin. While driving around the Red Cow roundabout (before it’s present roadworks) he missed his exit. Instead of going around the roundabout again to make the exit, he decided to reverse. A car behind then came along and hit the back of his car (minor hit).

When the Gardai came along they first talked to the driver behind. They then came up to talk to the guy in front. The Garda said “You’re not going to believe this. That guy who hit the back of your car said you were reversing when he hit you. Off you go. I’ll deal with him”. (ie he told him to drive off not believing someone would be stupid enough to drive backwards on a roundabout).

Nah! Urban Myth! Would have been witnesses!!

entropi

Very nice, i likes :)