Christmas Party admittance, looking for female advice

Dave5

I was at my company's Christmas party last week, (i'm on holiday now, i don't return until the New Year)...i was well oiled, pretty drunk, but not messy.

Anyway, i was doing a bit of mingling, as you do, and i ended up talking to a girl i know from Accounts. Basically, l let it slip that i particularly liked another female work colleague (who happens to be a good friend of hers). The reason i said this was, the girl in question who i like, is in her mid-30's like me, single, she's got a great sense of humour, etc. She started at my work place roughly a year ago, she has given me a lift home from work now and again, and basically there's been a hell of a lot of flirting going on between us.

..so the booze gave me a bit of Dutch courage to tell her friend, how much i liked her... Interestingly, the response from this girls friend was quite positive, she asked me if i had genuine feelings for this girl, i told her i did absolutely. Basically, she told me i could see how it goes with her in the New Year, and it was up to me if i wanted to do anything about it (i.e. ask her out)..

...anyway i've a couple of questions. Was it the right thing to do, to admit how much i liked this girl to her friend? Even though i was pissed?...i know that her friend will tell her all of this.

...also, should i be worried about what people think in my job, about us dating?

...also, i haven't a clue where to go with her, date-wise. So looking for some suggestions? Thanks.;)

Gordon

Dave5 wrote: »

...anyway i've a couple of questions. Was it the right thing to do, to admit how much i liked this girl to her friend? Even though i was pissed?...i know that her friend will tell her all of this.

Why does it matter what is right or not, you have admitted it, there is no point wrecking your head over rights or wrongs of an action that you have done. What would your actions be if:
a) You were right
b) You were wrong

?

(I'm a guy btw)

SpookyDoll

...anyway i've a couple of questions. Was it the right thing to do, to admit how much i liked this girl to her friend? Even though i was pissed?...i know that her friend will tell her all of this.

Yep, good move, I like when a fella shows he's interested instead of silly mind games, it shows he's confident.

...also, should i be worried about what people think in my job, about us dating?

Nope, fcuk em, its none of their beeswax.

...also, i haven't a clue where to go with her, date-wise. So looking for some suggestions?

GoKarting, pics, drink......DONT bring her for a "romantic meal" (too corny)

Good luck !!!

Dragan

Dude, you worry too much.

Ask her out, see what happens.

If anyone in work cares then **** them, it's none of their business.

SpookyDoll wrote: »

GoKarting, pics, drink......DONT bring her for a "romantic meal" (too corny)

Good luck !!!

Agreed, it's third date stuff and even then you cook it yourself.

Dave5

SpookyDoll wrote: »

Yep, good move, I like when a fella shows he's interested instead of silly mind games, it shows he's confident.

Thanks everybody for your opinions, ...on yeah, i've just remembered...the girl i like, and the girl i was talking to from work, both live in the same area as me, so i booked a taxi at the hotels reception for the three of us at the end of the night.

....also, i remember i didn't let both girls pay for it, and i told the girl i liked that i'd pay for the taxi, as shes been giving me lifts home from work now and again..

...i'm thinking this went down well with her. Don't know what you girls think? How would you girls feel if a guy did this for you?

monkeyfudge

SpookyDoll wrote: »

Nope, fcuk em, its none of their beeswax.

It is if the topic of inter-office relationships are in his contract. Which it often is. I'm not allowed to be involved with anyone that I'm required to issue instruction to as part of my employment.

Snowie

Im a dude and im going * slap you accross the face *

why because its the most nautral thing in the world to like a woman and develop an interest!
now man the feck up..... no offence intented....

No you shouldnt be worried about any body else but, her and you as the rest of them are unimportant and not involved in your personal life....

Ice skateing its some what romantic, no preasure, fun, and promotes some phiscal contact which breaks the barier...

then a meal play it safe itailian or e dareing and go for sushi personally i go with sushi as i love that stuff...

One date i went on as a student ivolved a blanket a falsk and chocklet and she said it was the best first date she ever had......

its eeasy show a little orignality and get creative....:cool:

ps stop worrying baout everyone else...

thats if she say's yes off course....and dont read into it to much or ule scare her away stay cool man

PurplePrincess

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It is if the topic of inter-office relationships are in his contract. Which it often is. I'm not allowed to be involved with anyone that I'm required to issue instruction to as part of my employment.

Can I ask what you do?? Seems a bit harsh if you happened to meet "the one" and a bit of paper says you can't do anything about it? Has it ever happened in your workplace?

LolaLuv

PurplePrincess wrote: »

Can I ask what you do?? Seems a bit harsh if you happened to meet "the one" and a bit of paper says you can't do anything about it? Has it ever happened in your workplace?

I think these sort of protections are in place to curb sexual harassment. In many US schools, in order to date a student a lecturer must resign him or herself from any supervisory duties over the student. Perhaps it's the same in monkeyfudge's workplace?

Matt3

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It is if the topic of inter-office relationships are in his contract. Which it often is. I'm not allowed to be involved with anyone that I'm required to issue instruction to as part of my employment.

I think you're missing the point, somewhat.

The guy has known this girl for a year, don't you think he knows what's in his work contract? He's hardly going to jepoardise his position in work, by getting involved in a relationship, when he knows it's not permitted in his contract?

...this is Ireland, mate. There's one hell of a lot of couples who have met at work and got together eventually in this country, other countries may differ.

Dave5

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It is if the topic of inter-office relationships are in his contract. Which it often is. I'm not allowed to be involved with anyone that I'm required to issue instruction to as part of my employment.

I'm Irish, and there's nothing of the sort in my work contract.
Thanks Matt....you've already hit the nail on the head for me.;)

Xiney

Dave5 wrote: »

Thanks Matt....you've already hit the nail on the head for me.;)

Interesting.

You and Matt have the same typing style, have you noticed?

Matt3 wrote: »

Just looking for a female perspective on this...your first date with a new guy has gone well, (you both get public transport/ taxi) and the guy walks you home to your house, you're both outside your house, and the time has come to say goodnight...

....would you prefer a bit of a snog? or if he kissed you on the cheek?..

...i think this moment for a guy/ or the girl, can be quite awkward (with or without alcohol involved). And also the guy doesn't want to make a complete fool of himself by going in for the kill...and i'm sure it's the same for the girl.

What's your verdict on this one, ladies?

monkeyfudge

PurplePrincess wrote: »

Can I ask what you do?? Seems a bit harsh if you happened to meet "the one" and a bit of paper says you can't do anything about it? Has it ever happened in your workplace?

It comes up a good bit. Being in a position of authority unfortunately does have attraction for some people. Following up on that would leave me and my company wide open for a lawsuit if things went sour and it was one persons word against another. I've a fairly standard contract in work as well.

Matt3 wrote: »

I think you're missing the point, somewhat.

The guy has known this girl for a year, don't you think he knows what's in his work contract? He's hardly going to jepoardise his position in work, by getting involved in a relationship, when he knows it's not permitted in his contract

He asked what his job would think about it. Lots of people were saying it was none of their business... I was merely saying that might not be the case. If they're in different departments it may be okay, but it all depends on his terms of employment.

tallaght01

Matt3 wrote: »

He's hardly going to jepoardise his position in work, by getting involved in a relationship, when he knows it's not permitted in his contract?

.

And they say romance is dead, eh?

Dave5

*Honey Pot* wrote: »

Aww hun, dont worry about it! I'm sure shell love the fact that you paid for the taxi Spesh as she gives you lifts all the time. ''give as you want to be given'' as they say!!

If she gave you lifts why have you notasked her out before??

Well, the reason i haven't already asked her out, was the fact that i found out from another girl in work that she had been hurt in a previous long-term relationship...

...apparently she was going out with a guy for eight years, and that ended badly. So i was a bit cautious about asking her out over the past few months, i didn't want to push her into something that she may not have felt comfortable with....

...hence, the reason i asked a friend of hers at our companys Christmas party. I've a better indication of where i stand now, so i'm confident about asking her out now.:)

Jessica4

Dave5 wrote: »

Thanks everybody for your opinions, ...on yeah, i've just remembered...the girl i like, and the girl i was talking to from work, both live in the same area as me, so i booked a taxi at the hotels reception for the three of us at the end of the night.

....also, i remember i didn't let both girls pay for it, and i told the girl i liked that i'd pay for the taxi, as shes been giving me lifts home from work now and again..

...i'm thinking this went down well with her. Don't know what you girls think? How would you girls feel if a guy did this for you?

Awwww....that's such a nice thing to do...paying for the taxi will have went down well with her, believe me...

...i do understand where you're coming from as regards being a bit cautious regarding her previous relationship which worked out badly.

Personally, i think she's mad into you.

Matt3

Dave5 wrote: »

Interestingly, the response from this girls friend was quite positive, she asked me if i had genuine feelings for this girl, i told her i did absolutely. Basically, she told me i could see how it goes with her in the New Year, and it was up to me if i wanted to do anything about it (i.e. ask her out)..

Here's my twenty cents on this^:

Personally, i think the female friend of the girl you like in work, actually spoke a lot of sense, in what she was saying to you.

I get the feeling that there's no pressure being put on you automatically, in that you must ask her out the minute you return to work, after your Christmas break....if anything, it probably makes more sense to see how you get on with her intially, when you return, you'll probably get to know her even better and if you both continue to hit it off, you can ask her out after a period of time.

Jessica4

Matt3 wrote: »

Here's my twenty cents on this^:

Personally, i think the female friend of the girl you like in work, actually spoke a lot of sense, in what she was saying to you.

I get the feeling that there's no pressure being put on you automatically, in that you must ask her out the minute you return to work, after your Christmas break....if anything, it probably makes more sense to see how you get on with her intially, when you return, you'll probably get to know her even better and if you both continue to hit it off, you can ask her out after a period of time.

I agree with that.

I think that her female friend was being sensible in what she said. I agree, that there's no pressure being put on you to ask her out. There wouldn't be any harm in getting to know her better at work, and see how things go. Also, this would give you an opportunity to ask her out in the future at a time you feel most comfortable with.

Michael39

I'm in a somewhat similar position myself, in that i let another female work-mate know how i felt about another girl in my workplace at our Christmas bash.

Like Dave5, this girls friend asked me how i felt about her, etc....she said more or less the same thing to me, in that i could see what happens in the New Year.

Personally, i just think it's a case of wait and see what happens, which is probably the most sensible thing to do...the good thing is that there's a bit of clarity involved, in that the girl i like knows i like her...

...but there's certainly nothing wrong in getting to know her a bit better, before asking her out.

Lilym

So what happened Dave5,did you ask her out ?

Zaph

We'll never know, Dave5, and his clones Matt3, Jessica4 and Michael39 have all been site banned. Most people are just happy enough with one account. :rolleyes: