Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Stephen's day quickies

Options
  • 26-12-2008 8:24pm
    #1
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭


    A man is sat at home reading the paper when his wife hits him on the head with a shoe. 'What's that for?', said the man. 'I found a note in your pocket with the name Mary Alice written on it'. Quick as a flash the man says, 'Oh that's the horse I backed yesterday'. A week later the wife whacks her husband on the head with a frying pan! 'For God's sake woman, what's that for?' 'Your horse just rang...' said the woman.

    Holmes and Watson are off to bed. Holmes asks Watson to squeeze a lemon in his pants. Watson asks why? With a wink and a glint Holmes replies "Lemonentry Dear Watson".

    'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
    'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
    The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation..
    The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'
    The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
    Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!'
    The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa; The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!'


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Steve
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 22,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭Steve


    like the first one :D


  • Options
    #3
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭coldfire1x


    last one real good :)


  • Options
    #4
    FrCrilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 528 ✭✭✭FrCrilly


    galwayrush wrote: »

    'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
    'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
    The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation..
    The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'
    The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
    Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!'
    The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa; The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!'

    Similar to:

    Q: What's the difference between a Merc and a Hedgehog:

    A: The pricks are on the inside of Mercs.


  • Options
    #5
    Janicus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Janicus


    FrCrilly wrote: »
    Similar to:

    Q: What's the difference between a Merc and a Hedgehog:

    A: The pricks are on the inside of Mercs.

    lmao, brillant.


Advertisement