Why are single 30+ women portrayed as 'desperate'?

metrovelvet

LightningBolt wrote: »

I wouldn't be an avid reader of certain sections of newspapers but one thing that strikes me is the social sections in some are sometimes penned by 30 something females who seem like they have nothing better to do than waffle on about the joys of motherhood, having lunch in the fourseasons and going to random charity events. You then have that god awful show on Tv3 Xpose which does nothing more than allow women to think that it can be acceptable to care about such pointless stuff. Is there any women in media who can change the current perception of a supposed 30/40yr olds lifestyle?

I have to agree with this as an outsider. I find it very difficult to find people who want to have anything more than superficial conversations about NOTHING!

That sad thing about those shows and the papers is that they write about it like its something to aspire to, but do not demonstrate how it adds meaning to life. Geesh, I watched Tubridy once and I really wanted to ask "Ireland, is this all you got?"

Karen_*

Thaedydal wrote: »

oh my how desperate does that look, bravo ladies.

Oh we were only flippin joking! chill

ntlbell

LightningBolt wrote: »

I wouldn't be an avid reader of certain sections of newspapers but one thing that strikes me is the social sections in some are sometimes penned by 30 something females who seem like they have nothing better to do than waffle on about the joys of motherhood, having lunch in the fourseasons and going to random charity events. You then have that god awful show on Tv3 Xpose which does nothing more than allow women to think that it can be acceptable to care about such pointless stuff. Is there any women in media who can change the current perception of a supposed 30/40yr olds lifestyle?

I really don't like the idea of blaming media.

who on earth even watches xpose?

and if that's the type of ****e that interests them i think there's a clue into why they might be single...

embee

Curlypinkie wrote: »

Ok, are we down to the one and only reason here? That a woman's sole purpose here on earth is to have babies? I know you can't argue with our genes, but come on.

Again, that has to also be some sort of outside influence. Because not everywhere are women so rabid to concieve before it's "too late".
Women in several other countries have slightly different interest than to have babies. Even if they are in their late 30ies.

I mean, there is adoption? Or you can just get a dog.

I think that sometimes women are so selfish in putting kids into this world. It seems it's for their own pleasure and at their own whim.
Rarely do they think about the kids actual future.
It's the thought in the lines of "I want babies and I want them now" that strikes me as particularly egotistic.

I wouldn't have said the desire to have children is down to some sort of "outside influence" at all. Women, generally speaking, don't have babies because other women are having them. Having children is specific to the couple of course, but as Peared said, it is essentially a "selfish" act. Outside influences? I dunno. I'm not about to go out there and have more babies because its expected of me or that its fashionable. I have a desire for more children, but that's a very personal thing and has nothing to do with anyone/anything else.

As for the "there is adoption? Or just get a dog" comment - LOL. I remember friends visiting me shortly after I'd had my daughter, and one of them came out with "Sure, it's just like having a dog really, isn't it?".

No. It really, really isn't ANYTHING like having a dog.

LightningBolt

ntlbell wrote: »

I really don't like the idea of blaming media.

who on earth even watches xpose?

and if that's the type of ****e that interests them i think there's a clue into why they might be single...

I'm not blaming the media. I'm merely saying that in this country there seems to be a certain female media personality. You look at other countries and see that there is more varied types of women in media to "aspire" to. I don't mean that in the literal sense but rather they give an indication of where women should be in their lives.

As ****e as xpose is, there's still people that watch it.

pfishfood

seahorse wrote: »

Desperate to involve themselves with a man, or so we’re told; and is there any substance to the accusation, really, is what I’m asking?

I’m a thirties woman myself and I have to say I find it a bit insulting, even though my being in a long-term relationship would preclude the label from applying to me. I guess I feel if I were to find myself single in the morning I’d suddenly be slapped with the maniac label or something.. The way that single thirties woman are portrayed you’d think they all obsessed day and night about involving themselves with a man and very little else, when the reality as far as I have seen (among the single thirties women I know personally) is that they have more on their plates to be concerning themselves with.

Having said that, this attitude must be coming from somewhere: so where? Have a handful of bunny-boiling mid-thirties women behaved in such an extreme fashion as to turn hysterical thirties-related relationship-hunting into an urban myth? Or is there any truth in the accusation that ticking biological clocks induce some sort of psychological metamorphosis around this age? Or, have the likes of 'Bridget Jones diary' done more harm in the attitudes they generate than any good from the entertainment they provide?

For me personally, I was far more in need of the security of a relationship in my early twenties. Now that I’ve grown up a bit and left a lot of mental baggage behind, my relationship is a welcome addition to my life; it complements rather than defines it. As for my biological clock, at nearly thirty-three I’m sure it is ticking loud and clear, not that I would know as I couldn’t be arsed listening to it.

So for the women reading this who’ve ever found themselves single in their thirties: did anything change at this age for you or have single thirties women been unjustifiably labeled? And for the men who’ve dated women of all ages: did you enjoy those relationships or was there any discernable difference in dating thirties+ women that would lead you to believe there’s any substance to the ‘desperate’ perception?

Some women would probably be labeled for all of the above, but not every woman. Some are workaholics and don't get like that till their 40's. But this makes for a good discussion thread. Some guys can get a little desperate in their 30's too but you dont hear them giving out plus it makes for good tv.

What is wrong with settling like?
Marraige/Creating a ginger baby producing alliance is supposed to be the start of growing into a family. Not an end in of itself.
Why is it a good thing to aspire to chose "The 100% perfect one for me" over having a family? If that is what it is coming down to.
Isn't the point of family unconditional acceptance?

ntlbell

LightningBolt wrote: »

I'm not blaming the media. I'm merely saying that in this country there seems to be a certain female media personality. You look at other countries and see that there is more varied types of women in media to "aspire" to. I don't mean that in the literal sense but rather they give an indication of where women should be in their lives.

As ****e as xpose is, there's still people that watch it.

I don't really understand the point, why do women need people in media to tell them where they should be?

People should be living their own lives and not worrying about what people around them or people in the media or doing.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs if people need to look to women in media to see how they should live their own lives

that's pretty damn insulting I'd have said

Wibbs

It's not just women who do it. We're a social animal and the media is just an extension of the societal pressures that have always existed. As societal pressures don't just spring from nowhere, same with media. Much of it is our biology coming out by a circuitous route. Take anti wrinkle creams. Yes they have some for men now, but they're not exactly flying off the shelves. The womens ones do. Now it's a very artificially raised need, but the need exists and the advertisers plug into it. As I wrote before, most of what constitutes female reproductive attractiveness is down to youth signals. Clearly wrinkles are not youth signals so anything that will reduce those signals is jumped upon as that increases your chances of getting a higher value partner.

In men reproductive attractiveness is much less to do with signals of youth, much more to do with signals of social power and the advertisers and society pressures plug that more. Look at ads aimed at blokes. Loads of stuff about male authenticity and power and strength. Car ads are a freudian wet dream:D Again having those things increases your chances of getting a higher value partner.

A young looking fit good looking women will not have a shortage of suitors. Same goes for a socially powerful fit man. Looks and youth will help with the latter, but not nearly to the same degree as in women.

We are all influenced by this stuff around us, some more obviously than others, but still influenced. Precious few people don't plug into this. You see this everywhere. Even "alternative" types. They look like all the other alternative types. Truly alternative people are quite rare. Nothing wrong with that either.

ntlbell

Wibbs wrote: »

It's not just women who do it. We're a social animal and the media is just an extension of the societal pressures that have always existed. As societal pressures don't just spring from nowhere, same with media. Much of it is our biology coming out by a circuitous route. Take anti wrinkle creams. Yes they have some for men now, but they're not exactly flying off the shelves. The womens ones do. Now it's a very artificially raised need, but the need exists and the advertisers plug into it. As I wrote before, most of what constitutes female reproductive attractiveness is down to youth signals. Clearly wrinkles are not youth signals so anything that will reduce those signals is jumped upon as that increases your chances of getting a higher value partner.

In men reproductive attractiveness is much less to do with signals of youth, much more to do with signals of social power and the advertisers and society pressures plug that more. Look at ads aimed at blokes. Loads of stuff about male authenticity and power and strength. Car ads are a freudian wet dream:D Again having those things increases your chances of getting a higher value partner.

A young looking fit good looking women will not have a shortage of suitors. Same goes for a socially powerful fit man. Looks and youth will help with the latter, but not nearly to the same degree as in women.

We are all influenced by this stuff around us, some more obviously than others, but still influenced. Precious few people don't plug into this. You see this everywhere. Even "alternative" types. They look like all the other alternative types. Truly alternative people are quite rare. Nothing wrong with that either.

I can understand the influences for young folk but surley when you reach your mid 20's early 30's etc you're educated enough to find role models in places that go beyond sex and the city and other media tripe?

I thought it was one of the advantages of been "old" you see through most of the nonsense?

I didn't think you had to be an "alternative" type to work out for yourself what makes you happy and what you want to get out of life.

We're not dealing with emo teenagers here these are grown women/men.

AARRRGH

I think there is a lot of projecting going on here. You know, people who aren't very pretty saying looks don't matter, and people who are pretty saying they do.

The reality is we all get "uglier" as we age. We can fight it with botox and more gym time, but it's only a matter of time before aging wins.

Women and men are different: women are considered more valuable if they're pretty, and men are considered more valuable if they're rich. As women and men age, women lose their prettiness and men (generally) get richer. Also, men can have babies whenever they want; women only have a set amount of time.

This makes ageing for women a much greater issue, and explains why women in their 30's get a lot more desperate for a relationship as time is running out - both for their looks and fertility.

I accept there is a certain social pressure to live your life a certain way, but you're a retard if you take that stuff on board. The media/world have nothing to do with how you feel or live your life - only you create and control your emotions.

PS I think a lot of people here think the average person is like the average boards.ie user. That's just wrong.

EDIT: In my experience, ugly and fat people are way angrier than the average person, so I disagree completely with the whole "ugly people have better personalities" crap some people are saying.

ntlbell

AARRRGH wrote: »

I think there is a lot of projecting going on here. You know, people who aren't very pretty saying looks don't matter, and people who are pretty saying they do.

The reality is we all get "uglier" as we age. We can fight it with botox and more gym time, but it's only a matter of time before aging wins.

Women and men are different: women are considered more valuable if they're pretty, and men are considered more valuable if they're rich. As women and men age, women lose their prettiness and men (generally) get richer. Also, men can have babies whenever they want; women only have a set amount of time.

This makes ageing for women a much greater issue, and explains why women in their 30's get a lot more desperate for a relationship as time is running out - both for their looks and fertility.

I accept there is a certain social pressure to live your life a certain way, but you're a retard if you take that stuff on board. The media/world have nothing to do with how you feel or live your life - only you create and control your emotions.

PS I think a lot of people here think the average person is like the average boards.ie user. That's just wrong.

EDIT: In my experience, ugly and fat people are way angrier than the average person, so I disagree completely with the whole "ugly people have better personalities" crap some people are saying.

lol say it how you see it man, don't hold back lol

Do you think the average boards.ie user is more like your problematic flat mate?

AARRRGH

ntlbell wrote: »

lol say it how you see it man, don't hold back lol

No one can ever accuse me of not being honest.

(I'm like this in the real world too).

ntlbell wrote: »

Do you think the average boards.ie user is more like your problematic flat mate?

Well, considering the amount of people who replied saying "you're describing me", I think they might be...

Btw, it's funny you brought her up. I was planning on posting in that thread with an update... she's gotten a lot worse...

Wibbs

AARRRGH wrote: »

The reality is we all get "uglier" as we age. We can fight it with botox and more gym time, but it's only a matter of time before aging wins.

Women and men are different: women are considered more valuable if they're pretty, and men are considered more valuable if they're rich. As women and men age, women lose their prettiness and men (generally) get richer. Also, men can have babies whenever they want; women only have a set amount of time.

This makes ageing for women a much greater issue, and explains why women in their 30's get a lot more desperate for a relationship as time is running out - both for their looks and fertility.

Pretty much sums it up.

I accept there is a certain social pressure to live your life a certain way, but you're a retard if you take that stuff on board. The media/world have nothing to do with how you feel or live your life - only you create and control your emotions.

Yes and no, I do think that people need(for want of a better word) "guidance". While ultimately, yes one creates and controls ones own emotions, they do not spring from a vacuum. They spring from the society around one, in both obvious and subtle ways. Certainly with age, that connection is less knee jerk and obvious when compared to a teenager seeking a path for him or herself, but it's still there. The most apparently basic hunter gatherer societies have surprisingly similar values and pressures.

PS I think a lot of people here think the average person is like the average boards.ie user. That's just wrong.

I agree with this very much. Boards is not representative of the wider world. It's quite a particular demographic, depending on forum, but in general it is quite particular. It's what interests me personally tbh. It's beginning to get to a more representative place slowly. The influx of women is helping for a start, but I wonder will it ever be generally representative and if it does, how long will it hold?

EDIT: In my experience, ugly and fat people are way angrier than the average person, so I disagree completely with the whole "ugly people have better personalities" crap some people are saying.

In extremes yes I would tend to agree. If you're pretty or good looking and constantly valued for that, you do have an easier time. When young at least. That does change with time though.

AARRRGH

AARRRGH wrote: »

EDIT: In my experience, ugly and fat people are way angrier than the average person, so I disagree completely with the whole "ugly people have better personalities" crap some people are saying.

Hence the choice of username?

AARRRGH

Moonbaby wrote: »

Hence the choice of username?

I like the sound my username makes.

PS I'm good looking. Sorry!

ntlbell

AARRRGH wrote: »

I like the sound my username makes.

PS I'm good looking. Sorry!

I thought it was fitting for a coder, you lot make that sound a lot

even the pretty ones..;)

metrovelvet

ntlbell wrote: »

I don't really understand the point, why do women need people in media to tell them where they should be?

People should be living their own lives and not worrying about what people around them or people in the media or doing.

It's a pretty sad state of affairs if people need to look to women in media to see how they should live their own lives

that's pretty damn insulting I'd have said

Because people like to be dominated. They like being told what to do,how to dress, how to raise your kids,how to clean your house. That's why these trinny and suzannah shows and clean your house shows and nanny shows are so successful.

ntlbell

metrovelvet wrote: »

Because people like to be dominated. They like being told what to do,how to dress, how to raise your kids,how to clean your house. That's why these trinny and suzannah shows and clean your house shows and nanny shows are so successful.

People who watch that sort of nonsense might do.
Those type of morons are usually morons regardless of what's on TV

They watch it because they're morons, they're not morons from the results of watching it.

But not all men and women are at home watching that crap trying to learn how they should be living their lives.

metrovelvet

^ A lot of people watch it, are they all morons?

And aside from that - where do you or most people get their notions on how to dress? What jeans to buy? What colours to where? Usually from other people.. usually celebrities or magazines.

The hardest thing in the world is to be you. Do not underestimate our capacity for mimicry. I have said this in different contexts over and over again and Im saying it here.

ntlbell

metrovelvet wrote: »

^ A lot of people watch it, are they all morons?

And aside from that - where do you or most people get their notions on how to dress? What jeans to buy? What colours to where? Usually from other people.. usually celebrities or magazines.

The hardest thing in the world is to be you. Do not underestimate our capacity for mimicry. I have said this in different contexts over and over again and Im saying it here.

I don't know about most people but I tend to wander around for a few hours shopping try things on see how they fit are they comfortable is it winter will I buy be warm will they last, I don't tend to read magazines or look at what celeb's are wearing to see what I'm going to wear this behavior would be moronic.

If someone spends an hour of their life watching people cleaning someone else's house not only would I assume they were a moron I would be very curious to see if they had some sort of mental health problem, I can just about put a few hours in cleaning my own home never mind watching someone else clean someone else's the idea sounds absolute alien to me

If my mother sat down and watched hours of television to learn how to deal with my childish tantrums I wouldn't hold the respect for her I do now.

I wouldn't like to think the majority of women go on like this.

Certainly the ones I come into contact don't.

John Mason

well any 30+ single person i know reeks so badly of desperation, you have to have al the windows open or else you would choke with the stench

metrovelvet

ntlbelle- Then how do you explain Ugg boots?

I dont watch those shows either. I noticed they are all bbc. Maybe it's English women who do?

ntlbell

metrovelvet wrote: »

ntlbelle- Then how do you explain Ugg boots?

I dont watch those shows either. I noticed they are all bbc. Maybe it's English women who do?

How do i explain them?

What do I need to explain?

Nevyn

ntlbell wrote: »

I can understand the influences for young folk but surley when you reach your mid 20's early 30's etc you're educated enough to find role models in places that go beyond sex and the city and other media tripe?

I thought it was one of the advantages of been "old" you see through most of the nonsense?

I didn't think you had to be an "alternative" type to work out for yourself what makes you happy and what you want to get out of life.

We're not dealing with emo teenagers here these are grown women/men.

That has to be one of the funniest things I have read in a while.
Ah bless.

Nevyn

ntlbell wrote: »

People who watch that sort of nonsense might do.
Those type of morons are usually morons regardless of what's on TV

They watch it because they're morons, they're not morons from the results of watching it.

Oh I do 'watch' them every now and then will stick them on while reading or on the exercise bike, have to be the most funniest and ridiculous stuff on the tv. Nothing like thinking thank fúck I am not like that, don't think like that and really am missing nothing imho by not emersing myself in mainstream media.

ntlbell wrote: »

But not all men and women are at home watching that crap trying to learn how they should be living their lives.

Some do cos they may have had an education but they have not learned to think for themselves or to be brave enough to cull themselves from the herd
cos that makes them a target and less likely to find a mate.

And while enough of them do they programs will get made and the advertisers will still pay for them so they can push products which tell people by this and it will help you have the life you think you should aspire to cos we are telling you so.

This site while it has become more mainstream over the last 2/3 years is still a far cry from the average irish person mindset and doesn't have that much influence on them yet.......

The day it does well chances are I won't be around any more.

Zaph

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

well any 30+ single person i know reeks so badly of desperation, you have to have al the windows open or else you would choke with the stench

We must have a little chat next time I see you. :P

Firetrap

+1

I'm heading towards my mid thirties, single, no kids. I've gotten so used to being on my own that I think hooking up with someone at this stage would crack me up. If my biological clock is ticking, I sure as hell haven't heard the thing. If I did, I'd club it with something. I like having time to myself, being able to take off and do things when I want to do them. This year, I went on holidays by myself for the first time and it was the best holiday ever.

Curlypinkie

ntlbell wrote: »

People who watch that sort of nonsense might do.
Those type of morons are usually morons regardless of what's on TV

They watch it because they're morons, they're not morons from the results of watching it.

But not all men and women are at home watching that crap trying to learn how they should be living their lives.

Well, ntlbell, you have just regarded, uhm, I'd say 70% of the female society as retarded.

BTW, TV should be viewed as entertainment, which it is. Some people are just more easily influenced than others. I wouldn't like you calling my sister, or indeed myself a moron, since I do enjoy a bit of Trinny and Susannah every now and again. And as far as I know, they would be advocating the total opposite to this thread title

ntlbell

Curlypinkie wrote: »

Well, ntlbell, you have just regarded, uhm, I'd say 70% of the female society as retarded.

BTW, TV should be viewed as entertainment, which it is. Some people are just more easily influenced than others. I wouldn't like you calling my sister, or indeed myself a moron, since I do enjoy a bit of Trinny and Susannah every now and again. And as far as I know, they would be advocating the total opposite to this thread title

Not sure I agree, where do you get the 70% from? Have you done a survey?

Is it 70% of your friends? 70% of ireland? 70% of female's in the world? of which society does 70% watch television shows to learn how to clean their own home? to work out what clothes they should wear etc? where does this 70% come from?

TV should be viewed as entertainment it should not be used as a tool to try and define how you should live your life or to tell you where your life should be at any given place and time regardless of age or marital status.

I'll try and redefine my statement if you look to TV celeb's to try and work out your place in society you're a moron.

if you spend hours of your lifetime watching people cleaning other peoples houses you're a moron

if you live your life to fit in with a small minute part of society you're a moron.

if you get upset that someone has a strong opinion on the tv shows that you watch

you're very likley to be a moron.

hope that clears it up

Curlypinkie

The 70% I got out of thin air. That's why I added the very averaging sign of "uhm".
I'd say 100% of my friends and myself included, enjoy Trinny and Susannah or even Expose, for a laugh.
I only subtracted the 30% to include the likes of you, who would disregard anyone as a moron who are not like you. (Sorry in advance if I'll upset you with this but you do come across as the former in your posts on this topic)
Not sure what you're trying to prove here ntlbell and neither am I sure you're actually keeping to the topic even.

St Bill

If 30+ single women are being portrayed as desperate in the media, well then I decide to not take it on board. It just doesn't gel with my particular outlook. If someone tells me I'm looking great, I'll take it on board, mull it over and then decide that, by jove and yes indeed, they're right :pac:.
I don't see the media as a threat to women of my age. Media is part of the society we live in, it's individually our decision whether we take it on board or not. It's not '1984' just yet.

gcgirl

Karen_* wrote: »

Ho do women in their twenties who are great in bed get crap in bed when they hit their thirties Wibbs?:D

I thougt it was the opposite way around !!
I am fair fair better now than i was in my 20's and fair more willing to try things out! Its different women every one is different no matter what age they are!

GirlInterrupted

metrovelvet wrote: »

Because people like to be dominated. They like being told what to do,how to dress, how to raise your kids,how to clean your house. That's why these trinny and suzannah shows and clean your house shows and nanny shows are so successful.

Hmmm, maybe, but also I think people watch these things because it makes them feel superior, as in, well I dress/clean my house/raise my children SO much better than they do...

Its nice to feel that however badly you might be faring in life, there truly is someone out there doing worse than you are. Ugly, but true I think.

metrovelvet

gcgirl wrote: »

I thougt it was the opposite way around !!
I am fair fair better now than i was in my 20's and fair more willing to try things out! Its different women every one is different no matter what age they are!

Yeah I dont get that statment either [Wibb's]. Sure your twenties are for experimentation but that doesn't make you better in bed. Sure in your 30s you can get a been there got the tee shirt and the sti to show it, but then you can change that again. Even within repetition there is infinite variety.

I also disagree that people in their 20s are in better shape. Yes the metabolism is faster, but by the late 20s the paunches are expanded, the man breasts are starting to swell, etc etc and it's in the 30s that people shape up, quite smoking, go to the gym and start working at it, because they have to.

Wibbs

Yea I kinda put it arseways:D Basically I was saying that I've known women in their 20's that were far better lovers than women in their 30's. I just don't believe that particular stereotype about 30+ women.

As for body shape, if you're a man or woman(and haven't had kids, or an illness say) and you're turning lardy and your arse looks like it's fainted in your mid to late 20's, that's just crazy. If you've struggled with weight all your life, then I can very much understand there comes a time when you may want to give two hoots, but those who were trim? As for people over 30 hitting the gym and having better bods than in their 20's? I can honestly say I can think of only one woman and one man who did that. I've certainly heard of others and I'm quite sure they're out there, but they're sadly in the minority IMHO.

Latchy

I know some 40+ women who although aware of advancing age , dont really have the hang up in the way some 30 + women seem to such as OP mentioned .50s the new 40 and 40s the new 30 .As long as the 30 + womon is loking after herself who cares about the desperate tag portrayal .Maybe some 20 somethings worry that if the havent got the steady boyfriend leading onto marrage sceanrio by mid 30s they are gonna be left on the shelf .Bit of an out dated image imo .

AARRRGH

latchyco wrote: »

Bit of an out dated image imo .

Well, I think it's as much a biological thing as it is a societal pressure sort of thing...

The irony or the matter is the unattractiveness of desperate women - they'd be way more successful if they just chilled a bit.

Latchy

AARRRGH wrote: »

Well, I think it's as much a biological thing as it is a societal pressure sort of thing...

The irony or the matter is the unattractiveness of desperate women - they'd be way more successful if they just chilled a bit.

Yeah , I see what you mean and nothing worse or more off putting . All women need to feel attrctive and wanted ,even the not so goodlooking ones although any insercuritys on her part can be manifested when it doesnt really have to be .

Interesting read, this thread.
My two cents worth...
I absolutely agree that women (and men) in their 30s start to take their health and fitness more seriously.

I know from my own experience and that of a large pool of friends, colleagues, family etc, we all caned it in our 20s. Smoking our heads off, boozing, arsing about. Because we could, we'd no responsibility, we were invincible.

As the years went by the smokers have quit, the gym is the new pub and most of us cut back drastically on the booze.

I can say, hand on heart, my 30-something female friends look better and have a happier outlook and more positivity in their lives than my 20-something friends.
The younger women are in knots trying to decide if they should travel, buy a house, find a bloke or go back to college.
The 30-somethings have been there, done that and learned not to care what other people think of their choices.

You only need read the PI forum any day to see the paranoid, unsure, neurotic posts from guys and women in their 20s.

Maybe I'm just surrounded by very confident, happy women but I don't think my circle of 30-something friends is exceptional by any stretch of the imagination.

Dudess

AARRRGH wrote: »

The irony or the matter is the unattractiveness of desperate women - they'd be way more successful if they just chilled a bit.

Agreed. That's what I object to when it comes to women over 30 - they way they bow down to such pressure.

Latchy

Deleted User wrote: »

I can say, hand on heart, my 30-something female friends look better and have a happier outlook and more positivity in their lives than my 20-something friends.
The younger women are in knots trying to decide if they should travel, buy a house, find a bloke or go back to college.
The 30-somethings have been there, done that and learned not to care what other people think of their choices.

You only need read the PI forum any day to see the paranoid, unsure, neurotic posts from guys and women in their 20s.

Maybe I'm just surrounded by very confident, happy women but I don't think my circle of 30-something friends is exceptional by any stretch of the imagination.

BINGO , my sentiments to .

ntlbell

Deleted User wrote: »

Interesting read, this thread.
My two cents worth...
I absolutely agree that women (and men) in their 30s start to take their health and fitness more seriously.

I know from my own experience and that of a large pool of friends, colleagues, family etc, we all caned it in our 20s. Smoking our heads off, boozing, arsing about. Because we could, we'd no responsibility, we were invincible.

As the years went by the smokers have quit, the gym is the new pub and most of us cut back drastically on the booze.

I can say, hand on heart, my 30-something female friends look better and have a happier outlook and more positivity in their lives than my 20-something friends.
The younger women are in knots trying to decide if they should travel, buy a house, find a bloke or go back to college.
The 30-somethings have been there, done that and learned not to care what other people think of their choices.

You only need read the PI forum any day to see the paranoid, unsure, neurotic posts from guys and women in their 20s.

Maybe I'm just surrounded by very confident, happy women but I don't think my circle of 30-something friends is exceptional by any stretch of the imagination.

When you get to your 30's a lot of people have come across something by then where they realise they're not immortal anymore and the sudden increase in taken care of themselves is out of fear for their own health not necessarily something to do to find a man/woman the same goes for married men/women in their 30's it's sometimes been faced with something that puts your mortality in your face rather than looking good to find a partner.

ntlbell

ntlbell wrote: »

When you get to your 30's a lot of people have come across something by then where they realise they're not immortal anymore and the sudden increase in taken care of themselves is out of fear for their own health not necessarily something to do to find a man/woman the same goes for married men/women in their 30's it's sometimes been faced with something that puts your mortality in your face rather than looking good to find a partner.

Yep, that's it. You realise you have a choice, you can continue as you were and age faster or you can start to take care of yourself. And that's called maturity.

Anyone who thinks the majority of 20-something women are slim and the majority of 30-something women are not is deluded.
You only need look around any venue aimed at the younger generation to see how our 20-somethings are faring when it comes to weight issues.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

Anyone who thinks the majority of 20-something women are slim and the majority of 30-something women are not is deluded.
You only need look around any venue aimed at the younger generation to see how our 20-somethings are faring when it comes to weight issues.

I have to agree with that.

fits

I'm afraid us human beings are just animals when it boils down to it. And animal instinct is a very difficult thing to go against. Its a survival tactic.


So single women in their thirties are perceived to be desperate because it is assumed they want to have children. In the majority of cases, that assumption is correct.

It really sucks.

Latchy

fits wrote: »

So single women in their thirties are perceived to be desperate because it is assumed they want to have children. In the majority of cases, that assumption is correct.

It really sucks.

But the ones who dont will be quite at home knowing or thinking ( whatever the case may be ) that they made the right decision .

ntlbell

latchyco wrote: »

But the ones who dont will be quite at home knowing or thinking ( whatever the case may be ) that they made the right decision .

to what?

be single for life?

not have kids?

i didn't think this was about kids

fits

latchyco wrote: »

But the ones who dont will be quite at home knowing or thinking ( whatever the case may be ) that they made the right decision .

I'm inclined to agree.. and yet...

fits

ntlbell wrote: »

i didn't think this was about kids

Of course its about children. Even if few realise or admit it.