"Out of my league"

Earthhorse

When it comes to "out of my league" I've only ever considered it in the looks department and thought it was the same for everyone else. Quite surprised by some of the answers here.

What I mean is, when it comes to other partner attributes, I always consider them compatability issues. For instance, one time I was really attracted to a girl who was completely crazy; party animal, social butterfly, wild lifestyle. That's the complete opposite of me and it made me worry we wouldn't work but I never thought, "Well, she's out of my league excitement wise".

And I guess that's why I always thought leagues was just a looks thing and nothing else. There's always the worry that the person you like will replace you with Earthhorse 2.0, a little taller, a little more tanned and toned but thankfully I think most people take a broader approach to attraction. They look at the sum of your parts (not just some of your parts :eek:).

Pen1987 wrote: »

Thats because looks are far more subjective when it comes to womens opinion on men. There's no real "look", George Clooney looks much different to Brad Pitt but they're both still considered sex Gods. Hundreds of women think Johnny Depp is gorgeous, hundreds don't.

Can't say I agree. Plenty of guys will take Christina Ricci over Angelina Jolie. Lots of guys find Britney Spears attractive, lots don't. When you say that guys will really "do anything", well yes I agree we are a lot less selective in that regard but there is just as much a "look" for men and for women.

banshee_bones

iv seen girls get with guys waay hotter than them and viceaversa.

Just shows you never can tell what the attraction is.

Seriously, id class myself as well average but when i think about all the guys iv ever been with, well they were all what me and my friends would call 'hot'!

and i know this because a friend turned to me once after meeting one of my exes and went 'no offence but HOW do you always get the hot ones?!'

Peared

banshee_bones wrote: »

iv seen girls get with guys waay hotter than them and viceaversa.

Just shows you never can tell what the attraction is.

Seriously, id class myself as well average but when i think about all the guys iv ever been with, well they were all what me and my friends would call 'hot'!

and i know this because a friend turned to me once after meeting one of my exes and went 'no offence but HOW do you always get the hot ones?!'

Dump the friend, she's out of your league in the b*tch stakes.

JohnGalt

If Ted Bundy taught us anything, and I believe he did, it's that there is not such thing as out of your league :cool:

banshee_bones

oh thats for sure !

Friend was a gay man! queen bee in the bitch stakes!

St Bill

You're dead right, JohnGalt....that guy out of Married with Children had a wife who was way better looking than he was

banshee_bones

wasnt she only with him for the money!

Aisling(",)

I'd feel really nervous to approach a really good looking lad or a lad who i knew was loaded just because id be scared they look down or laugh at me.

JohnGalt

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I'd feel really nervous to approach a really good looking lad or a lad who i knew was loaded just because id be scared they look down or laugh at me.

A well founded fear. Stick to courting homeless people.

damnyanks

It's pretty narcissistic trait to view of the world in such a way i.e 'someone is out of your league' (below or above)

A hole is a hole is a hole - and if they make you smile all the better.

cuckoo

Hmmm, interesting thread. I have to say I don't think that I've ever (consciously) thought someone 'out of my league' - a lot of the time i'm too busy thinking about what i'm thinking about me.

If leagues exist it suggests an externally applied standard. I'm working on fixing my own internal standards for me - so don't have time to be thinking about relative positions on a scale.

Attraction can happen at the oddest of times and for the oddest of reasons, and thus I wouldn't like to think that i would be ruling anyone out.

Nightwish

The "league" thing stayed with me right through to college. I was in fact told by a guy when I was 15 that I was out of my league by asking him out. The "good looking" guys in town always went for the same 15 or 20 girls all of the time. It was like a swingers clique, as soon as one relationship ended he or she was going out with another member of the group.

Nowadays I dont consider any league, but the type of guy I find attractive has changed. I'm loved up at the moment so I hope my days of looking for someone are over.

Peared

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I'd feel really nervous to approach a really good looking lad or a lad who i knew was loaded just because id be scared they look down or laugh at me.

That's sad

Beauty is an accident.

Money comes and goes.

You are worth every bit as much as any good looking guy with money.

RacoonQueen

There is someone who I've rejected numerous times who hasn't got the picture yet. I do feel like saying "I'm out of your league" even though I don't technically think it. :pac:

St Bill

damnyanks wrote: »

A hole is a hole is a hole - and if they make you smile all the better.

Does this mean what I think it means? If it does, well you're in the wrong place

Snowie

i allways thaught like girls out of your leauge was a good thing...

She more then likely aint interested... so you think that and then you dont really care becuase you think shel reject you

would that not envoc more confidance because you think your out of her leauge when infact because you except it you become more confident etc and probably wont be....

sorry if my logic dont make sence Ive having ahard time writing it never mind understanding it.....

brianthebard

cuckoo wrote: »

Hmmm, interesting thread. I have to say I don't think that I've ever (consciously) thought someone 'out of my league' - a lot of the time i'm too busy thinking about what i'm thinking about me.

If leagues exist it suggests an externally applied standard. I'm working on fixing my own internal standards for me - so don't have time to be thinking about relative positions on a scale.

That's why I thought it interesting that I thought this woman out of my league-I've pretty much done away with most external standards, so it was wholly my own opinions of what I like about a woman that applied. And in that case I felt she matched an awful lot of what I would like, so much so that I felt I was unlikely to measure up. Hmm, so perhaps I was imagining her external standard as being higher than I can achieve. Its a tricky topic!

Peared

Go for it brianthebard, what's the worst that can happen - a little wounded pride?

Just come back here if she doesn't know what's good for her and we'll make you feel all better..

JohnGalt

Peared wrote: »

That's sad

Beauty is an accident.

Money comes and goes.

You are worth every bit as much as any good looking guy with money.

But make sure you get home before 12, you can leave one of your glass shoes behind so the prince can locate you whence he comes a knockin'

Karoma

JohnGalt banned. Q:"Why?" A: Why not? You really have no idea how to play with others. This is the final straw. See if you can learn in 6 months.

CeilingCat

brianthebard wrote: »

Its not just about looks though, but whether you (well I) think the person is a lot smarter than you, or have their life more together, or is just...well the only word I can think of is better than you, but that's kind of a downer....

I have to say I've been guilty of this one in the past....

Trinity1 wrote: »

My mother always told me its not where you live its how you live.

+1 So true.

Bijoux wrote: »

+1, I've been with one or two really rich lads, neither of them ever had to work a day in their lives, didn't appreciate or know the value of anything! They also tended to be very superficial.
Not to say I judge all people with a larger bank balance like this, but thats just my experience so far.

Same here... sadly, it's made me a bit wary of such guys even though I know not all guys with money or wealthy backgrounds are like that.


When I was younger, I used to have the single mother complex too, feeling like guys saw me as 'less than' because I had a child.... as time went on though , it became a very good way of separating the men from the boys .

I think it's a self esteem thing.... feeling like someone is out of your league. Definately for me, feeling like that has always been about my own insecurities.

LolaLuv

spinandscribble wrote: »

question:

has anyone seem girls with guys out of their "league"? i have to say with less frequency then vice versa

I've seen a lot of this in Dublin. Granted, I seem to be the only woman in Dublin who thinks Irish men are really good-looking, but sometimes I do wonder at the couples I see on the train and such. One time I saw this hott guy on the LUAS who was kissing a very unattractive woman with a 'stache. Didn't make sense to me, but I figure that I could be equally unattractive without a 'stache and snag an even hotter hot guy, so far be it from me to take offense!

manukahoney wrote: »

Yeah, it's something I have felt a lot to be honest...was always majorly shocked when I landed a fine man.......and it's been an issue in more than one previous relationship; I've been very insecure and wondering what they're doing with me etc....

Even very good decent men, I wonder what I have done to deserve them/think I don't deserve them.

Has led me to sabotage things quite a bit in the past....

Never understood why; the men never understood either...:rolleyes:

Not sure if it's something I've outgrown; I guess I have good days and bad days....s'pose everybody has really......

Or else.... i'm a fruitcake:eek:

I used to be the same, but I think I've outgrown it, too. When you look at the evidence and see that you've dated a bunch of hotties, it makes you rethink how you valued your stock, you know?

But yeah, I do think some guys are out of my league. Ronan Keating is out of my league, but what I wouldn't give...:D

Call Me Jimmy

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

i allways thaught like girls out of your leauge was a good thing...

She more then likely aint interested... so you think that and then you dont really care becuase you think shel reject you

would that not envoc more confidance because you think your out of her leauge when infact because you except it you become more confident etc and probably wont be....

sorry if my logic dont make sence Ive having ahard time writing it never mind understanding it.....

nah I get that. It's defo a state of mind.

If you place to much importance on it, or get too serious i.e. you see a girl and think "guys, I'm in love. What a delicate flower!", it's just not gonna end well, as crazy-eyez-killa so aptly put it "you puttin' the pussy on a pedestal!".
Go over to her with a ****-YOU mentality, as in, if she says no, **** her, move 2 steps to the left and ask her friend.

Bijoux

CeilingCat wrote: »

I think it's a self esteem thing.... feeling like someone is out of your league. Definately for me, feeling like that has always been about my own insecurities.

That's it, in a nutshell!

Aisling(",)

Peared wrote: »

That's sad

Beauty is an accident.

Money comes and goes.

You are worth every bit as much as any good looking guy with money.

its not as bad as it sounds written down.like im always friendly to everyone and would always talk to people who are around but i know when a stunningly gorgeous lad comes in i wouldnt be on the same level and itd be a tad intimidating

and the money thing stems from a kinda of pompus attitude ive come across with some more well off people.even two of my close friends went to the institute and my school would be a a relativly poor school and their new classmates have a better then you attitude the same one they seem to be adopting aswell

Snowie

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

nah I get that. It's defo a state of mind.

If you place to much importance on it, or get too serious i.e. you see a girl and think "guys, I'm in love. What a delicate flower!", it's just not gonna end well, as crazy-eyez-killa so aptly put it "you puttin' the pussy on a pedestal!".
Go over to her with a ****-YOU mentality, as in, if she says no, **** her, move 2 steps to the left and ask her friend.

well sorta, that came of highly egotistical which is'nt the aproach id use my slef as `I cant stand ego's i mean there really not that good...

How ever the smae kinda idea just a bit more toned down and going after her friend well that's just a bit sad..... In my veiws of course....

GirlInterrupted

I've never looked at a man and thought he was out of my league.

I don't believe in leagues anyway, I believe in people.

likely_lass

the thing with men is, most can be very easily charmed & manipulated by women

ill be killed for saying this but where alcohol is involved, leagues dont really exist anymore

Red Hand

The wife and meself shtarted off pretty badly, I musht say. T'was back in 1973 and I was shtuck in the 3rd division of the County Cup and the wife was in the 1st division, playing a match againsht the previous year's County Cup Victor, Victor Tholamaraun.

But, faith, I shtuck at it, kept plugging away, kept working up the leagues, until finally, in March 1976 on a cold windshwept Sunday on the pitch down in Ballybrack (Jimmy Magee will tell you this), I won my darling wife's heart (and a fine pair o' kidneys to go with it).

T'was close though, a two point finish.

stovelid

To adjudge yourself to have utterly no chance with somebody before you've even tried is very self-defeating. Worse still, thinking like that can turn out be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's fair enough to be realistic about your prospects (I may not as much of a chance as xyz); it's another thing entirely to imagine that you have no chance without at least some investigation.